Things that don't seem so strange anymore - farewell Korea

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Things I've learned after my year in Korea that don't seem so strange anymore:

- The perfect side dish to pizza is a bag of pickles.
- Food allergies are non-existent. You should be able to eat anything and give the kids whatever you want.
- It makes perfect business sense to open your cell phone or jewelry store right next to 20 other stores that sell the exact same thing.



- Pizza and hamburgers are snacks, not meals.
- You can wrap your umbrella when entering a store - this is genius!
- Koreans are in a rush to go everywhere... except when they are standing on escalators, even with the subway train approaching.



- It's impossible to flirt through eye contact because everyone is looking at their phones.
- If foreigners can’t understand Korean, then they are obviously clueless to body language and gestures as well.
- You have not had to change a light bulb since moving in.



- You are not even sure that you could imitate the hacking sound Koreans make when they spit. It's all in the pronunciation.
- The elderly have more active lives than you do.
- You like 2 of the seasons. The start of Spring and Fall are more anticipated than Christmas.



- In winter it’s a tradeoff between using the toilet and staying warm.
- There is no better browser than Internet Explorer.
- Mechanical pencils break after each letter but students love them.



- Fresh air is more important than comfort.
- Mosquitoes and fruit flies are more resilient than cockroaches.
- Your medical exam is like a relay race.



- Broom handles are needlessly short. Now you know why their spines are so twisted in old age.
- The most used feature on the phone is the mirror.
- Matching outfits show a committed relationship.



- You can often make purchases by swiping your card, without entering codes or signing anything. You feel very secure about your finances.
- People are respectfully quiet on public transportation. Except when they are telling you to shut up.



- Korean women can do anything in high heels.
- One of the double doors is always locked. They vary which one each day to confuse you.
- For English teachers, foreigners use the non-existent word “deskwarming” a lot.



- You now own 50 pairs of socks and 40 towels.
- You love buying food in the supermarket that is scotch-taped to something else.
- You love getting free toothpaste after an impromptu relay race



- You cross your arms in an X every time you say NO or disagree about something.
- You think you’re back in university after hearing loud drunks stumbling home at 4am on a Sunday morning… but then realize its 50 year olds wearing suits.



- You start telling people they should “take a rest.”
- A lot of Korean food is "good for your condition".
- Kids think your office is a great place for “hide and seek” with their friends.



- “Free samples” means eating a full meal while shopping.
- Blue eyes can put others into a state of hypnosis.
- Your fate is often determined through a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.



- The elderly are scarier than teenagers.
- You can’t be trusted to teach regular class alone but if it’s after school, they’ll expect you to teach multiple grades, levels, and gender groups alone for hours.
- You look forward to discovering another new species of giant insect that flies in through the open classroom window.



- You understand that your crayon chalk will break several times in one class and get all over your clothes.
- Children will try give you back massages while you're eating your lunch.
- School sports day has nothing to do with sports.



- You’ve-ah started talking like-ah this-ah
- Pedestrians share the sidewalk with automobiles and motorcycles...
- You still forget to collect your toilet paper from the wall dispenser before going into a public toilet.



- Children love arm hair and are fascinated by freckles.
- Every city bus will have at least 2 teenage boys sitting in each other's laps and playing with each other's hair...
- People think you should board the train first before allowing people to get off...



- People love to know your blood type...
- There are more oscillating-fan-related deaths than shootings...
- All food is "delicious" with no exceptions...



- The school bell makes you crave ice cream...
- You carry your empty coffee cup for a long time after you finished it...
- Everyone is fascinated by their own face and like to take lots of pictures of themselves...



- There is no pornography anywhere but there's at least 5 brothels in every small town...
- Any decent men's tie should sparkle...
- Even if you are fast asleep on the subway or city bus, you won't miss your stop...



- At least once a week you crawl across your apartment floor to get something you forgot after putting your shoes on...
- All food comes either in a single serving or a convenient 30-pack…
- No matter where you are standing, you are always in an old lady’s way…



- You’re beginning to think Cass is the taste of vitality…
- Someone is always watching you…
- You hit the switch language button on your keyboard more often than the space bar…



- When the department store opens, the staff will kindly bow to you just before they are nearly trampled
- You actually prefer bowing to saying hello…
- If you lose something on a night out, you will always get it back



- People only need to walk a few meters to find a convenience store or PC room…
- Bins are still impossible to find.
- Students love to sharpen pencils.



- You find yourself disappointed in the equipment offered at the free public park gyms...
- Who needs a janitor when you have a school full of kids?
- You actually believe that you are really beautiful.



- Everyone is very impressed with your chopstick skills and kimchi-eating ability…
- A single bar of soap can kill the bacteria on the hands of 1000 people…

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