A Poor Man's Hong Kong

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Creeping down stairs, desperate not to stir the house, ice cold tootsies and a heart full of trepidation. Has he been? You slowly inch the door ajar and peer round the corner to reveal the most glorious vista. Gleaming ribbons wrapping bundles of consumer led bliss. Slowly you reveal the whole sight and take a few nervous steps forwards. Delicately removing the outer coverings of the first box to expose that most perfect of sights.

Or not ...

Have you ever opened the box and wished you hadn't

Welcome to Singapore

Perhaps you even preferred the box itself, because this is the most disappointing gift of all time. When we heard that most people only use Singapore as a transit hub, we thought they must be mad. From tales and myths (advertising) we had been led to believe here lay an Uber-modern utopia of shopping, eating and air-conditioned glory. Unfortunately this was not the case. This was so completely and utterly not the case that we came crashing to earth with a big thud.

Sure it has malls (not as nice as Hong Kong), it has food (no comparison to Kuala Lumpur) and it has some nice musems, but seriously the British Empire was not as lovely as they make out. Whether it's living on past glories or the small pockets of modern cool they have managed to generate in a city of mediocrity. Singapore has little to attract those without the bank balance of Romania.

The real problem with the city, however, is that it's just plain boring. It has nothing unique and very little that's special. As with ever modern city the look is conformity, the shops scream blandness and the soul is lost. Perhaps Singapore never had one, but when New York feels like New York and Hong Kong feels like Hong Kong, Singapore is a bigger, shinier Milton Keans or Anywhere



So Please allow us to clear up a few myths about Singapore.

1) They do Jay Walk, they all do it, all the time. The idea that the people of Singapore follow the rules all the time is complete nonsense. They even drop litter - we saw them

2) It is always hot, always! Even at 2 in the morning when it's raining and, despite assurances, they do not air-condition the tube. They might put a token effort on the actual trains, but as far as the stations go, nada. When such ice cold bliss is available if not the norm across the region to have it missing in the supposed hub of international luxury is quite a surprise.

3) They have some of the highest taxes you're ever likely to come across. Although disguised as 'Service charge' and 'GST' etc. on bills you should calcualte up to 20% more than the price you were quoted just in case it's needed.

4) It's just not that fancy. It honestly isn't. It's no more amazing than London, New York or even Glasgow...well


Saying all this, however, and against the odds we did manage to have a pretty good time. Whether it was wandering around the Orchid Gardens at what is undeniably the finest Botanical Gardens in the world or shaping and engraving our own pewter bowls with Singapore's oldest manufacturer. We even found time to indulge in some cheap and hence exciting street food - 'Meat' makes it's welcome return.

It was also our last stop in Asia, a place which has become our home for the last 5 months (or 140 days when nic is doing the books) and a chance to reflect on the journey passed and still to come. Places we want more time in (Lao, Nepal, Hong Kong) and things we never want to have to do again (crossing the road without a green man, eating food I can't pronounce, India).

From now on the sun will be in the wrong place and water will flow down the plug hole backwards - weird

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Photos

Maggie as an Orchid
Someone clearly liked her

Incredible Colour
Just one of the Botanic's collection

More prettty flowers
We have over 200 like this