Every one of us has his mountains to climb

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Hmmm....I was thinking about writing this blog for a long time. So many things have happened, so many emotions, from tears to euphoria in few minutes. So many memories ones that I will remember to the end of my days, ones that I would like to forget, erase just right now. This trip was the biggest school of life I ever had. This trip was the hardest workout I have ever done for so long. This trip was a school of a will power, decision making, motivation, understanding and appreciating life. If you r looking for a day to day itinerary, facts, stop in here and save yourself time. I want to express emotions - because, they were the biggest part of this trip.

I had mixed feeling about this expedition, about leaving Poland for 2.5 months. I have left there a person who turned my World upside down. A Person, which I missed so much, while being high in the mountains. I still remember while in US in fall 2008, my plans were to spend whole 2009 trekking/climbing in the Himalayas & Karakorum, Nepal, India, Pakistan. One person has changed those plans - Karolina. And I don’t regret it.

Already the beginning of the trip didn’t work out as it should. I haven’t trust my guide and porter. But had no choice there were the only ones that decided to go for it. Others were afraid of lack of support, that more staff is required to make it safe and successful. I had different opinion.

It was supposed to be my last big adventure. I had some inquiries about people wanting to join me on my expedition, but plan was to do it alone. It was my trip, to find my own limits. 50 days that was the plan. Route - Kanchenjunga S & N Base Camps with Sinion La , Makalu BC & ABC with Sherpani Col, 3 High Passes in Khumbu, finally ending up in Rolwaling with Trashi Laptsa and Parcharmo Peak. Big hopes, great adventure, stunning views, horrible work out. It was a trip, after which you find out what are you worth - mentally and physically. I remember many quotes which I try to follow in my life, but one was on my mind many days while out there: You want to get to know somebody, take him into to mountains. I wanted to get know myself.

Every one of us has his mountains to climb, somebody have said, the same like every one of us has his own Everest to climb. So simple but it expresses so much. In each of us life we meet problems that seem unsolved, but still somehow thanks to our will power we manage to success. It doesn’t matter if it is 1000m above sea level, or 6000m. Difference is in oxygen level for sure, where at 6000m there is less than 50% of oxygen comparable to sea level.

During the whole trip I fought almost every day to push over my limits mentally and physically. It was a battle with a huge backpack which weighted approximately 30kg. You never can get used to such a burden. Why I have only around 90 photos from a whole trek? The last thing I wanted was to take my backpack off and in few minutes struggle again to put it back again. Anyway as I said before, I agreed that the goals are not views, but deep look into me, understanding myself. Loneliness, was one of my worst enemies. 5 weeks without friendly soul, 3 tourists - thats all the people I have met on my trails. Conversations with a guide where limited to questions: How far more? Where we sleep tonight?Where we eat lunch?His english was very poor. Loneliness was my fate, and I had to cope with it. It wasn't easy.

What was my biggest disappointment? How one single moment can destroy that which u has been working on for last several weeks? Weakness which has overtaken me that memorable day, I had never felt such helpless. I forced myself for one last push up the mountain face. Crucial moment has come. Looking at the last wall in front of me I asked a simple question. Do I really want to cross that pass, that Col? What is important to me? I knew that will be the end. I found an answer for a question I have been looking for a long time. I guess this moment was a critical moment in my last 5 years of traveling. It ended a part of my life. Something ends…Something begins. It was a time to come back to a place where I belong. 6000meters above sea level just before Sherpani Col was my Everest this time.

What was my biggest success, delight? I had promised to one special person that I will leave a gift at the highest point I will reach. Photo of us together, was with me for a whole time. It used to serve me as a motivator which pushed me more and more up. It’s there somewhere, at 6000m above sea level, high in the Himalayas, it glance at the mighty Makalu.

Didn’t I want to try again, people were asking? Retreat a little bit down and give another shoot? No… I don’t give in life second chances to anybody. Even to myself. It was a time to lower my head, move out, to abandon my climb, my goals… Descending from Makalu Base Camp was the worst. Last glace at my beloved great mountain Makalu…I cried…for a second time during that expedition. I told to myself to never look back. And I kept the promise till the end of trek. First time I cried on the way up. Magnificent view of the Himalayas made me to ask myself one question. Who I am, what I did, to deserve such a life, views, experience, and my grandparents have never seen any mountains in real life? Fair?

Expedition ended after 34 days - 34days, I can say closed important chapter in my life - thanks to which I come out as a “rich” person, spiritually and experience rich.

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