Published: March 3rd 2009March 3rd 2009
…But here is just one or two…
I came at break neck speed with a razor and two peeny pennies at a boa constrictor and realised I needed neither for the situation arising and (arising)ly getting out of hand, prior to this he had told me he eats slugs for breakfast and so you can see why the situation had had to arose. Confused?1 I am at least and so I won’t end it just yet but tell you more on how it had started…
Last time I blogged I ended with my intention of getting lost in Laos and that is what I certainly did. To get lost I meant to lose myself entirely; ridding me, myself and I from this brave new world. All things considered suicide didn’t seem too appealing and so I concocted a different method. To rid myself of all I own was what I decided to do and so be left with nothing. By all, I include my memories. (Note: I realise you’re probably thinking but he is blogging with his usual bad mannerisms and whatnots and so he must of failed, if only I could end now so simply, so I’ll continue
This is why I choose to travel to Laos, a place I knew nothing about, and by bike so as to be free to get lost properly away from all else. I also had a tent, stove and so on (yes yet more possessions to rid myself of my other things), so as to be self sufficient in my wanderings. And thus I wandered into Laos and got well and truly lost. I did most of this by blindfolding myself in all my senses at times, this led to me whirl winding round Laos until I’d forgotten how it all started, yes already the memory was slipping.
So at this stage the next step could be stepped, I relinquished all my possessions (yes all my material ‘wealth’ gone in a simple nod - even that electro million plus-i-fied account - to think I never really told anyone about that big poker win, those I did never seemed to believe it anyway and so I kept it in my head, like so much…anyhoo, gone, all of it gone), blindfolded the sense once again, took a long walk and then walked some more and sat (for how long
I’m not sure but exactly the right time to lose it all, my memory and my contagious somebody).
And there I found myself, unable to speak, eat, drink, to move in any meaningful way; and so I did the one thing I could do and that was cry. I’m unsure how long I stayed in this state, but it troubles me to just write about it, but at some point my ‘mother’ came to me, well my new mother. A group of slugs passed my left baby toe, and one felt it with her feelers and at this instant a shiver ran through me as I’d never felt (well remember feeling I guess) another soul until that ‘now’.
I followed them as best I could with my limited moving capabilities, it helped they were as slow as slugs though, and occasionally my ‘mother’ would feel me in a worriedly heart-felt way it seemed. This carried on for some days; eating, drinking and doing as my mother did. I was literally a slug. Then my ‘mother’ fell ill, natural old age for a slug, and then she told me something that changed it all. I say ‘told’ but this
was really ‘told’ by a telepathic feeling. She ‘told’ me I was not a slug but something else. She implored me to seek out the tiger elephant and as if this was her dying wish she died. I cried for some time. Then, although I was sure she was wrong about my being, I went to seek her wish.
None of the other slugs had even heard of the tiger elephant and so I asked our friends the snails but still had no joy. The ants, spiders, termites, worms or frogs gave me no clues either. The bees had heard of tigers and the mice of an elephant and so I found these beings. The tigers were broad and bored of my questions before I’d asked and the elephants I found had nothing memorable to say on it either.
So slugging around much of Laos I had not found what I sought, and so I mused in a small cave. The dweller of this cave came back at nightfall and instantly saw what I sought and told me I had found it right now when I had least expected it. He claimed to be the tiger elephant I sought (later it turned out he was a sufi of sufficiency, but no matter his part in the story is paramount) and then he asked telepathically, “what is a triangle?”.
Having never heard of triangle I had no idea what he asked and so I sat dumb-founded. But then I thought of what he had asked and it being telepathic all I saw was a shape, I then realised this must be what a triangle is. I then realised what it was and told him so. I then had a flood of logical knowledge back into my hemmed brain.
He then asked me what pi - i was. I arrived at an answer of “for the exam for example” (see pic for my derivation) and again a flood of nuggetable things came flying into my brain, this time all the nonsensical sense came back to me and at this point I knew myself again but alas something was still missing.
He said I now had my knowledge back but not myself. He said I had three guesses at what I wanted and if I got it right then I would be set for life again. Instantly I said I wish to experience it all and he said “no”. I then pondered upon the mountaintop near this cave and decided it was to continue searching for myself and with that I had myself back and all I had had before I had had the hads and hadded idea of losing myself.
In reflecting this was all part of my process for finding more about myself, even though I had to lose myself to do it. Or this has been yet another metaphor for disorder…
I hope that clears up the boa constrictor’s statement and why it riled me so…I haven’t decided how that ends yet and so I won’t end it just yet…