Why do we worry about asking certain questions?

In the U.S., we normally consider it rude to ask someone how much they paid for something. I think this might have something to do with the fact that in a country based on equality, questions that allow us to evaluate one another in such a superficial and economic manner (even if that is not the intention), are not normally welcomed. This hesitancy to question certain things extends far beyond asking about pricing, and has led me to wonder how the social etiquette I have grown up with has affected they way I relate to others. In general, when it comes to certain topics particularly of religion, race, and ethnicity, and even politics, I think we have a harder time voicing our genuine curiosities than we may think. Why do I think this? For whatever reason, maybe because we think we’re prodding more than we should, or are afraid that we might offend someone, or, (possibly the most likely reason) because we think we're too uninformed (or misinformed) ourselves to even know where to begin asking the questions, we never do. All these things I have certainly felt before, and it is for these very reasons that I believe others go through it too. Isn't it a strange when you realize how little you know about a person, but can't bring yourself to ask them certain questions because you feel these are things you should have asked about long before? "No," you tell yourself, "It's too late. It would be just too embarrassing to ask now.".....you then precede to think of ways to find out the information without asking the person straight up.

In India, inquiring about the price of someone’s shirt or motorbike is nothing more than a question. No status assessment attached. And when it comes to asking people about themselves, all seems fair game. By the standards of the culture I have grown up in, (and I do not say this as an offense) Indians have little shame. A good example of this is when I am asked about the pimples on my face. In the beginning, I was shocked that anyone would have the nerve to point out something so out of my control, yet for some reason, embarrassing to talk about. “It’s not something I can control, so lay off!” As time has passed, I’ve gotten more used to people pointing out my periodic breakouts. So accustom have I become, that I now anticipate the question rather than getting caught off guard. And as my reaction has changed, so has my response. Just as shameless am I, the responder, as the inquisitor was to begin with.
“Hey, Rija (as I am called), why do you have that….that…umm…that…aahhh……red spot on your face?”
“Well, (insert name of choice), it’s funny you ask me that. You see (insert name of choice), there comes a time in every woman’s life when they get these pains in their stomach and these weird red spots on their face. From that time on, they will continue to have these strange effects for one whole week, every month.”
At this point they usually start to catch my drift, but for some, I’ve had to further explain. What’s funny about the whole thing is that while I thought I would be giving my questioner a taste of their own embarrassing medicine, instead, it made them sympathetic to my situation. Recommending herbal medicines and telling me to go relax for the rest of the day, my joke turned into them genuinely caring for me. “Hum…..? Something to think about,” I thought.
So what have I come to conclude from what we would consider these ‘shameless’ questions and ‘to much information’ answers? In regard to social etiquette, Indians and Americans are very different. This can be seen far more extensively in examining the cultural and social norms of both countries. But the reason I used this example is not to point out this difference, but instead, to highlight how our understanding of one another can be significantly strengthened when we can ask and respond to questions honestly, unbound by the influence of our cultural and social taboos. And maybe through this honest understanding, we will be better equip with the knowledge and desire to show true sympathy and compassion for one another.
Easier said than done….right? Believe me, I’m still trying....trying to figure out the difference between constructive honesty and what's just plain inappropriate.

(The photos on this last blog feature the people of the NGO: all people not afraid to ask questions)

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