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Published: February 7th 2011
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For the whole of November, I worked at Salzburg Experimental Academy of Dance and left Austria in snowy conditions. The flight home to London was cancelled due to Gatwick being closed so I flew to Frankfurt hoping to get to Heathrow but the connection was missed due to the blizzard across Germany.
I slept on the floor of Frankfurt airport on the night of the 1st December. When I eventually arrived at Heathrow late on the 2nd December, deep snow still covered England
I flew out to Shanghai on the 5th December and went to my Chinese hometown of Suzhou on the 6th. On the 7th, it snowed: faintly.
As I watched the dusty snow falling on the 7th December, I realized that during that past week, I had seen it snowing in Austria, Germany, England and China.
On the 3rd February, on the way home to London, the same thing happened but with the unveiling of the first signs of spring across 3 cities. I left Suzhou in a blaze of early spring sunshine and arrived in Shanghai sweating. Immediately after arriving in Shanghai, I dumped the bags and pegged it down to the old town for
marbled-tea quail eggs and noodles at my favourite tea house. I carried my coat because it was so warm. When I arrived back in Heathrow at tea time on the 4th, it was dark but London was not cold.
I fell at the second to last hurdle and waited sweating, with the straw that broke the camel’s back, at Green Park tube station for Patti. She arrived in her voile blouse and thin coat. Surely this means that I have traveled through winter into spring.
I am not sorry to be back in my home country, in fact, I absolutely love it. It’s the small things, you see. The texts from friends, the calls to family, the return to a café where I am known as soon as I walk through the door, inspirational words in a magazine, the smell of the river, the food hall in Selfridges, the pie shop and that Vivienne Westwood coat I tried on and will dream of buying, the spring flowers, the humour on British TV and just being here - the ties that bind.
In the last 2 months, I have lived in 3 major cities and in each of
them I have felt at ease and at home. I scoured their surfaces to dig to find the gems, especially Beijing. Even though Salzburg, Suzhou, Shanghai and Beijing have unfolded as if they are homes and not only places that I push through, I have always known that I would leave. Therefore, always knowing that fact means there is a finite end in sight and I have lived in a transient way.
- For almost three years.
Now it’s time for what Lucian Freud said is ‘downward travel’ – getting to know where you are better and exploring your feelings in your neighbourhood. I think he means enjoying the fruits of being a local. Although I could not have done this more than I already have in the places that I lived, it’s time to explore my hometown in the UK again. For almost three years, I haven’t lived in my own house, haven’t used my double stainless steel cooker or opened that fridge. I haven’t opened the windows to the setting sun which has warmed the entirety of the back of my unassuming house in Sheffield or seen the tea-roses growing in my garden or the
opened a loved book from the shelf. None of these things have bothered me for so long but now I want a base again and I want to be in the same country as my family and friends.
I haven’t had much time in the last two months to write because I’ve just been getting along with all the new day to day things. So, here, fleetingly, are a few of the very special moments:
Walking through the Lama Temple, watching the lattice-shaped light fall across the Taoist monk’s coat as he played the flute by the door. The trees outside, framed in the doorway have the look of being placed exactly there to be looked at.
Initially thinking that the bird-man was cruel to string his birds onto stands by the bell tower until the bird sat on my open hand just before it flew to retrieve the glass bead. It could have flown away but returned.
Walking for three hours along the greatest wall in the world and turning around to see it meander off into the distance, as if in a book - then being confused by the vastness of it
all.
Bike-skating and old school chair-skating on the frozen lakes in Beijing, using welded screwdrivers and metal stakes as skating sticks, eating haws on sticks and baked sweet potatoes from the barrel sellers.
I never got bored of seeing that ceramic-man proudly ride the imperial yellow rooster on every tip of every eave of the Forbidden City palaces.
Finding Xin Gao and Lina – both masters in a humble massage shop.
Learning TaiQi on the roof of my kitchen whilst remembering the Master under the bridge.
On the day I was leaving Suzhou, a dog I adore called qiaoqiao, ran down the hutong lanes after me and I knew he would follow me anywhere.
The amazing first taste of 8 marbled-tea quail eggs in an old Tea House in Shanghai.
Watching the steam rising from the sink in the corner as a man I greatly respect, washes and cuts the hair of others; a job he has done for over 50 years.
Finding the most beautiful untouched ancient standing courtyard house in Suzhou which has housed the same family for over 50 years along with about 8 other families. Opening and closing
its stained glass doors to see the coloured light fall through the dirty panes.
Sitting with a very good looking man with a crooked finger and waist length hair talking about ‘crossing that river’ and wishing he wouldn’t. Not entirely hearing, just listening.
Learning Chinese flashcards with a patient friend whilst he served his customers in his shop.
Living in both the hutongs of Beijing and Suzhou, waving in the mornings and evenings to greet the neighbours.
Giving my trusty Rab coat away and receiving the silk lanterns from the doorway.
Sharing and umbrella in the snow whilst walking by the animal market.
Understanding fully, the last words someone said were ‘hui lai’ ‘come back’
I’ve had one foot in China and one in the UK since 2006 when I first took a trip across China to Tibet, into Lhasa and Everest Base camp and through to Nepal. I’ve learned basic Mandarin and basic cultural differences and likenesses, I’ve traveled thousands of miles around China on overnight sleepers, lived in cities and made life long friends but now I’m pulling my China foot out and placing back in England. It’s time to downward
travel around Sheffield and the Peaks again and I can’t wait to get my home back.
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Bob Carlsen
non-member comment
There's nothing like home!
I look forward to your blogs about finding yourself at home. After your blogs about Suzhou I felt that finding any other home would be disloyal, but I realize that your real home is back in England. So introduce us to your first love. And maybe you can get around to blogging about your trip to Tibet. My family has a special connection to Tibet, which I hope to blog about once I digitize my Dad's pictures.