I smoke, but I don't inhale...

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Well, as I've finally decided to start updating my blog regularly, I've decided to start picking random facets of Chinese culture that amuse or interest me and write a few words about them. Keep in mind that I've only been here for 9 short months and I'm only beginning to attempt to try to make put together Chinese culture. So, I may make some observations that a seasoned 老外 may find either obvious or blatantly false. My apologies.

With that being said, I'd like to begin with my first topic:

Smoking

Smoking seems to be a huge part of Chinese social and business culture. Often times I'll be at a bar or a restaurant with some friends and a Chinese man will approach anxious to make my acquaintance. In the US such a person would greet you with a handshake and an inviting smile. You know what you get here? Cigarettes!!! He'll walk over with an open box handing them out to anyone and everyone he can see. It's like the Chinese way of saying, "What's up guys?!? You mind if I shoot the shit with y'all for a bit?"
Now, as a non-smoker this often puts me in a bit of a bind. If I smoke the cigarette, then I'm doing something that goes against the very essence of everything I stand for as a "non-smoker." However, if I don't accept the cigarette, I'll be missing out on an awesome opportunity to shoot the shit. I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's an insult not to accept the cigarette, but I will go out on a limb and say that accepting that cigarette is like shaking someone's hand firmly while looking them in the eyes and smiling. So, what do I do? I usually accept the cigarette with no intention of smoking it. And what do I do when the offer of a cigarette is promptly followed by a lighter in my face? Well, I light that cigarette up and puff away, hoping that nobody notices that I'm not inhaling. It's just one of the sacrifices I've gotta pay for the sake of courtesy.
Cigarettes here vary greatly in price. My roommate and many of my friends smoke the cheap packs, which I believe usually cost about a dollar. Some people have a bit more expensive taste and go for the two or three dollar packs. Some, however, like to show that they are what we Americans like to call "ballers." These are the people who will spend upwards of $20 or $30 on a pack of cigarettes so that when they head over to a table full of potential comrades, everyone will know what's up. These "baller" cigarettes are usually reserved for special occasions like weddings though.
Well, I've come to realize that the best way to approach a new and foreign culture is to embrace it with open arms. For this reason, I've decided to start keeping a semi-nice pack of cigarettes on me for warranting situations. I can be that friendly chap with a cigarette for every non-smoker at the table. Imagine that there's a pretty girl at the bar that I've been dying to talk with, but she's surrounded by a group of protective, male friends. What do I do? Walk up to that table with a smile and offer every one of those intimidating fellas a tasty, smooth Panda brand cigarette...then blowza!...I'm good as gold.

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Comments

[sarah Lambert]

you're going to some extreme lengths to get laid....good for you :)