An Open Letter to Grandma Ruth

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Dear Grandma,

Humid summer nights turned into crisp fall afternoons and snowy winter mornings before arriving, in a flash, back to today, April 26. Another year older, another year wiser (perhaps), and another year more fulfilled. The lessons you imparted to me while sharing cherry-vanilla twisty cones at Dairy Queen, constructing cardboard box forts in your basement, and sharing our weekly lunches have stayed with me. Family, as always, is everything. But my definition of family is evolving and changing as I go through life. No longer confined to a nuclear unit of Mom, Dad, Daughter, and Son, my family has expanded to include a Chinese mom and sister, members of the International Festival Chorus of Beijing, attendees of a Catholic church on Wangfujing Street, and an eclectic group hailing from Britain, Australia, Austria, Ireland, the U.S. and China. They are all my family, which means that no matter where I am in the world, I am always home.

Grandma, so much has happened in the last year. I am happier now than I have ever been. When I was a girl, I used to daydream about what my ‘perfect’ adult life would be like…and I am living it now. I am working for an innovative North American engineering company that genuinely cares about the welfare of its employees and is striving to conduct business as green and sustainably as possible. My family of friends here in Beijing truly take to heart your motto that ‘family is everything.’ We care about each other and look after one another. We support each other…but we have fun, too. (Oh, do we have fun).

Perhaps the biggest, and best, change of the past year is the amount of music in my life. For so long, I struggled with my decision to leave the music school, to give up my dream of becoming a concert pianist and one day performing to a sell-out crowd at Carnegie Hall. I didn’t want to touch a piano, or even look at one, for a very long time. It was just too hard. But over the years, I have rediscovered my love of that magnificent instrument and now I can’t stay away. I was gifted with an upright piano (a real piano!) when I moved into my new apartment this winter and I play nearly every day. It is such a release for me.

In December, I met someone who inspired me to move beyond my comfort zone and explore other avenues of music. I’m now a proud member of Beijing’s premier choir, the International Festival Chorus of Beijing, and regularly perform during the monthly meetings of Basically Beethoven, Beijing’s only classical music open mic night. I’m even learning to play non-classical music (imagine that!).

Grandma, I know how important your faith was to you. I always enjoyed listening to your memories of attending Catholic school (and being repeatedly shamed during Mass when your little dog trotted down the aisle of the church searching for you!). In order to learn more about this great mystery called the Catholic faith, I have been attending Mass each Sunday. I have found it to be inspiring, thought-provoking and uplifting. I wish I could have shared it with you while you were still present on Earth. But I know that you are watching over me and listening each Sunday when I walk into the church.

Each year since April 26, 2006 I have written you an open letter. This year, I would like to take the opportunity to share with others one of your many attributes, which was your sense of humor. You had a terrific sense of humor! I've written some of your best one-liners below:

"Those are for old people" -- from when Dad and Aunt Tudy got you a walker.

"I had a wild party and the neighbors called the police" -- when I asked you what you did Friday night

"If you leave the keys here, I might go for a joyride" -- when I gave Dad the keys to your car

"I've got a trick menu" -- after you couldn't read the small print at a restaurant

"There are no calories if you only eat half" -- when I was hemming and hawwing over your frosted sugar cookies

"I have to look presentable" -- when I came to pick you up for our weekly lunch, you insisted on wearing lipstick, even if you were wearing a sweatsuit and your hair was in its usual wild state.

"Everything's new to me!" -- joking about your memory loss

"Well that's a fine how-do-you-do" -- from when I moved to China on your birthday

"It has been just thrilling ... I've watched TV all day and looked out the window" -- from when I asked your how your Saturday was.

You were such a special lady. You expressed neverending love and guidance for us in your life with us and have continued to do so due to all that you taught us and instilled in us. For that, I am so very grateful and know that you will forever be with me and all of us. Your unconditional love, support, encouragement and interest in everything we did or wanted to do was such a great gift for us all. Love has many definitions and the one that tops the list is: Love - see Ruth Wilson.

Loving and missing you, always.

Merritt

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Comments

[Bigbrother]

Your story touched me again
Children stood closer to God and wisdom than did adults, as in William Wordworth's(1770-1850) "The life of a wise man is most extemporaneous, for he lives out of an eternity ahta includes all time. He is a child each moment and reflects wisdom. The far darting thought of the child's mind tarries not for the development of manhood; it lightens itself, and needs not draw down lightning from clouds" from [The dial(July 1840) 120] written by Henry David Thoreau. He wrote in the last paragraph of the "where I Lived, and What I Lived For" chapter: " I have always been regretting that I was not as wise as the day I was born." Good speed to your life in Beijing! your reader in Dae-gu city, SoKo. :) I have been reading Thoreau's book, Walden and Thoreau's collected Essays and Poems in every night time before falling on sleep. Reading these books is somewhat difficulty for me due to some Latin words. :) but my reading is carried on.