No Rhyme or Reason

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1. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU SEE IN THE MORNING?
When I wake up I see the hazy skyline through my large bedroom bay window, partially blocked by articles of my clothing hung haphazardly about, in an attempt to dry them. (Must purchase some sort of drying rack or line!

2. LOOK AT YOUR LEGS - IN WHAT CONDITION ARE THEY?
The right leg looks alright, but the left is in a laughable/pitiable condition. One freshly picked knee scab, large greenish bruise on lower calf, one bandaid, and even my left shoe is splitting at the seam. Stairs are not my friend.

3. WHAT IS A STAPLE IN YOUR FRIDGE?
Emily and I commonly keep a good stock of yoghurt (you drink it here). If it is not being consumed as a beverage, we mix it with oats and eat the sticky substance with chopsticks.

4. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO MOST TODAY?
One of my students promised to bring me chocolate today (they have a supply from Switzerland). I vowed to not hassle him into helping his wife out with housework, if he brought me chocolate... thus illustrating "blackmail".

5. WHAT ARE YOU CRAVING RIGHT NOW?
Sushi! I really miss sushi. It's so hot out right now that all I can do is dream of little rolls of fresh fish. Someone express courier take-out from Maru to me!!!!

6. WHAT WAS THE LAST "GOOD DEAL" YOU FOUND?
Yesterday I had my roommates shoe soles fixed for 2rmb. This little man had a stand on the street and graciously repaired the shoes I was wearing. While I waited, his wife gave me her straw fan to place my feet on while I waited for my shoe. We sat and smiled and rolled our eyes at the heat.

7. MOST RECENT SILLY THING TO HAPPEN TO YOU?
I locked myself out of the apartment. Our power had shut off and I ventured out to go down the hall to investigate the breakers... forgetting that I had windows open inside, which caused a draft to slam the door behind me. While I usually am grateful for the automatic lock (I am notorious for forgetting to lock doors) this time it put me in a truly terrible situation. I had just returned from a run, so I was sweaty, nappy haired, wearing a wife-beater, "darling bear" pj shorts, and barefooted. Keep in mind that bare feet are a horrifying thing here in Beijing. No phone, no money, no key... and the roommate gone to work a good hour away on the subway! Ashamed, I ran to the property managers building - trying to calm my hair and hide my feet as I explained the situation. Was informed that there were no more copies of the key and that it would cost vast amounts of money to call a locksmith. Emily was not due to return for another 6 hours and I was stuck. With no shoes I couldn't go on the subway, no money to take a taxi, and no phone to call any other friends... I began to get quite dejected and hysterical. This was not how I had imagined my day off. Luckily for stupid me the Chinese are so lovely that one of the employees offered to take the subway to Emily's work and pick up her key for me. I had to wait 3 hours, but during that time they calmed me down by plunking me in front of a computer with English movies I could stream, and fed me with hot water and pumpkin crackers. They even offered me some high heels so I could cover my feet. (I did decline the shoes and just hid mine under the desk). By the time I received the key the weather had changed to rain and I was splashing my way home in my ridiculous attire and bare feet. My doorman had a good horrified laugh at my appearance. (Jerk). It took me about 5 hours, but the situation eventually did become funny, and I now can't help laughing when I think on it.

8. WHERE DO YOU EAT OUT USUALLY?
My unfortunate confession is that I commonly eat out at 711, as the district I work in is REALLY posh and all the surrounding restaurants are ridiculously out of my price range. I will say that 711 here in no way resembles the versions we have at home, and you can get relatively decent hot and fresh food for cheap there. Everyone at the school mocks me for this penny-pinching habit of mine, but I cannot pretend that I am gloriously rich and dine in splendor elsewhere. I really am destroying their idea of Westerners.

9. WHAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT/CHALLENGING PART OF LIVING IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY?
Thus far it's been the real limits on being able to help yourself. I have been a very independent for most of my life and always been taught to "figure it out" for yourself and believed that I am fully capable of handling any situation life throws my way. Here... you have to depend on others almost completely! I feel this bizarre inability to help myself. Obviously the language barrier is the biggest cause, but things are handled so differently here as well, so it really makes you feel quite powerless. (Not a feeling I am used to!)

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT SHORT-TERM GOAL?
I really want to learn how to cook proper Chinese food. One of my co-workers offered to teach me, so I really need to arrange a time to meet up with her and learn. The food here is so different from what we are served at home. You really cannot even compare the menus. It's baffling why there is such disparity, and it's really far better tasting here. There is a Sichuan tofu dish that Emily and I are crazy for and order every time we go out for food. I really must learn how to prepare authentic meals, that way if/when I return to Canada I can show you what China TASTES like.

11. HILARIOUS EVERY DAY SIGHT?
The public awareness commercials on the subway continually crack me up. They are these foolish little cartoons of lightning storms, people burning themselves on stove-tops, car accidents, power outages, and being stuck in elevators. They always show the situation, the wrong way of handling it (hilarious), and then the proper procedures to follow. The animation is just so hilarious, and the messages are so over-the-top that the result is laughable and ridiculous, rather than educational. The police posters are similarly amusing as they have these happy little Chinese Policeman cartoon characters pictured on them... and really, the image presented is so opposite to at home. We are used to taking the police VERY VERY SERIOUSLY... and that is the image that is presented at home. Here - where the force is obviously taken quite seriously - the image is that the police are your cuddly best friend. Haha. So funny.

12. SOMETHING YOU ARE PROUD OF?
My first fight with my roommate. Crazy as it sounds, I really get excited about the first fight I have for people. It's a pretty clear indication of where the relationship is heading and if I encounter conflict that is managed and dealt with in a mature and respectful manner I feel thrilled and fearless for the future. It can be one of the most bonding of experiences. So yeah, we walked through that fire and things couldn't be better!

13. BEST "LINDSIE-MOMENT"?
That's definitely a tie.
One evening Emily and I were preparing to head out dancing. She was in the bathroom and I was alone in my room getting changed. I was about halfway done when I noticed my reflection in the window... I was clad in bright yellow tights and a black sports bra - head to toe in spandex. This sight was so amusing to me that I did a little dance in the room, which further amused me so much that I felt this sight must be shared. Now - when you are about to expose yourself in full spandex you are really praying for a receptive audience (many would lose their nerve at this point) but I was willing to risk it. I marched out of my room, crouched in a weird wobbly stance arrived at the bathroom announcing "It's Spandex Man"... needless to say, Em collapsed in a fit of laughter and tears and I was quite pleased with myself. It's become a bit of a legend now.
The other time we were on our way to visit our dear old hostel and decided it would be a grand idea to sing & dance our way there. We connected our headphones to Emily's ipod and screamed out hit Proclaimers songs as we grooved our way around. (Obviously the dancing was far superior to the off-key wailing). This display warranted us numerous high-fives, much laughter, and then shocked expressions once Emily smashed into a unsuspecting trash bin. (Of course there was a bus stop audience for that brilliant display!) When we were in the Tiananmen area we were listening to the Beatles and thought it would be fitting to sing the "Revolution" song... for this we danced awfully fast down the streets so as to escape arrest! A highly satisfying day.

14. WORST TEACHING CONDITION?
One day I was teaching a class where the ceiling was leaking onto our table. It looked highly suspicious and was later confirmed to be a leak from the upstairs bathrooms. One student informed me that the atmosphere was "very terrible".

15. NON-CHINESE FOOD YOU NEVER EXPECTED TO EAT?
Cannot believe I'm about to admit this, but it's cheese toasties. Not so bad? Well, the cheese is processed slices and the bread is the infamous "Bimbo Brand" (China's Wonder Bread). How the snobbish have fallen! Sometimes it really is the perfect snack and it's my darn American roomie's fault! (I am ashamed).

16. THE INTERNET?
Is the bane of my existence and never ceases to created endless problems for me to utterly fail at solving. My earlier pride at connecting it is dashed (pride comes before a fall) and it is no longer cooperating with us. (Which really bites for downloading!) Also, facebook is blocked at the moment. So dear ones, I am not ignoring you, I am just denied access to, well, everything. I am hoping against hope that the site is allowed again after a short while, as there are many many people I do not have the emails of. Scary how dependent one becomes.

17. LAST CLASS YOU TAUGHT?
Wonderful class! I seem to always collect and encounter people in my life who have these brilliant marriages! It's uncanny. I have this one class where I teach a husband and wife and another younger uni student. This couple is amazing and just so lovely and genuine. We were discussing personalities, attraction, relationships, and the cultural differences. I had everyone analyze their personalities and then, just for fun, had Bob explain Annie to me and vice versa. They were very honest and game and really it was just so terrific to see how well the SEE each other and the love and respect shared between them. (This is SO RARE here!!!) I was just sitting there soaking in it, grinning like a fool. Then we tackled Sean's (the student) relationship issues. I was being very un-Asian and railing against the idea of showering his ideal woman with gifts to make her like him. (Quite common here). Annie and Bob were fascinated as I went off on my opinion and perspective on the matter and apparently Annie shares many of my thoughts! So we ganged up on the boys and eventually got them to see our side on things. It was such good fun.

18. PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND?
Emily is going camping with her boyfriend and his friends so I am actually alone this weekend. I haven't really given much thought towards planning anything for my free time. One thing that has to be accomplished is a good houseclean. I'm tired of living in a hell hole. Also I really do want to test out a church soon... so hopefully I can figure out where one is and perhaps attend on Sunday. We shall see.

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