Sex and Power in Ghana

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This is a series of stories I wrote for the JHR website (www.jhr.ca). They are exploring the relationship between sex and power. They are about sexual harrassment in the workplace and sugar daddies. -Nichole



When No doesn’t mean No.

By Nichole Huck

Growing up, I was taught that ‘no’ means ‘no’. In junior high the boys would snap our bras or make comments about the girls lucky enough to have developed breasts first. Our teachers repeatedly told us this was inappropriate, we were taught about sexual harassment and told as young women that we didn’t have to put up with it.

My friends and I became strong, confident women. We knew our rights and believed we had institutions to back us up. We had faith that if we made a formal complaint in school or at work, it would be taken seriously. If a guy made some inappropriate sexual joke, we didn’t think twice about putting him in his place. If I was walking down the street and a man grabbed my butt, I would tell him where to go and how to get there.

But somehow between then and now, somewhere between Canada and Africa, I’ve changed. Africa has forced me to react differently to sexual harassment. It has also forced me to view sexual harassment differently. Instead of yelling, I ignore. Instead of punching, I push hands away. How quickly we adapt when placed in a situation where ‘no’ often means ‘try harder’.

Nearly every day comes with marriage proposals and requests for phone numbers. Every visit to the pool results in being grabbed, touched, or stroked, as you try and manoeuvre your body through the water. Every night out dancing results in creative ways of trying to escape from being closed in by a circle of gyrating males.

But while these behaviours would seem outrageous in Canada, I also have to remember that I’m not in Canada anymore. Ghanaians just seem to be generally more tactile people. It doesn’t even appear to be gender specific. It is common to see two men walking down the street holding hands or grinding up against each other on the dance floor. Even in the office I watch as men rest their hand on their male co-worker’s thigh while having a conversation.

I remember having a conversation over dinner with a few of my foreign friends. We were sharing stories about being followed home by men who wanted to be our ‘friends’, and talking about how we should react in that situation. Our guy friends told us we should scream, attract attention, and tell the guy to leave us alone. We said would feel embarrassed doing that, we didn’t want to be ‘that white lady who freaked out’. We said these kinds of things happen so often that we have just try to ignore the guys, and eventually they just go away.

MALE FRIEND: ‘But if a guy was following you at home (in Canada) you wouldn’t react like that.’

FEMALE FRIEND: ‘No, but guys don’t routinely follow me at home, and I don’t have people constantly asking to be my friend either. It’s different, I don’t think they mean any harm, it’s just different.’

And it’s this difference that I am still trying to understand. I can chalk some of it up to culture, to living in a patriarchal society, to perceptions, to gender roles, but some things are just different. If you go to the club or the pool you will find dozens of guys for every girl. The common belief is nice girls can stay home if they don’t want to deal with the unwanted attention. I have heard repeatedly, ‘Prevention is better than cure’. Most of the women I know do not go out to clubs or drinking spots at night, they don’t go swimming, they don’t take cabs at night, one friend won’t even shake a man’s hand. They work incredibly hard at not putting themselves in a situation where men would have an opportunity to harass or assault them.

Yet even these women have stories; Scholarships or jobs promised to them if they agreed to sleep with the man in charge. School grades given out or withheld based on sexual favours, being proposed to, grabbed, kissed by professors, co-workers, bosses, and older family friends.

When they resist they are labelled difficult, they lose marks and jobs. They keep their self-respect but remain jobless and poor.

It’s this reality that inspired my co-worker and I to do a series of shows on Freedom Thursday exploring issues of sexual relationships, harassment and the abuse of power.

Pinches and Propositions:
Understanding Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

By Nichole Huck

Two young females in an office full of middle aged males. My co-worker and I had arrived at the Trade Union Congress. We were there to talk about sexual harassment in the workplace. Within the first few minutes we realized that sexual harassment is as easy to find as it is difficult to prove.

The director told us that the union has yet to file a successful grievance against anyone for a complaint of sexual harassment. He said that sometimes women would come to them with complaints; they had a few women who were made to watch porn movies during a job interview and told they could get the job if they slept with manager who was hiring.

The director told them they needed proof, ‘we wanted to give them video cameras to catch the acts on tape, but they never came back.’

‘What happens if an employer requests sexual favours or makes inappropriate comments during the job interview?’

The industrial relations officer (IRO) answered, ‘ It happens...but if that particular person who is looking for a job wants to be safe they have to say to the employer, take your job, I don’t need your job. But if that potential employee is really interested in the job - they sometimes give in.’

Co-worker: ‘But that’s with their consent - does that amount to harassment?’

IRO: ‘No. If they do it with consent it is no longer sexual harassment.’

Co-worker: ‘But the employer is taking advantage of the women’s weakness - she needs a job. He is playing on her weakness and she gives in because she needs a job.’

IRO: ‘If a woman does it because of her own weakness then it is her own problem. But if the woman is not a weak woman she will say no to the employer, and at the end of the day she will not get the job.’

On our Freedom Thursday Show, the head of the women’s committee for the Trade Union Congress offered a different perspective.

‘Sexual harassment is the abuse of power - from the powerful to the powerless. It is unwanted sexual advances, touching or patting or even indecent comments. If you don’t want it, it’s an abuse.’

So I guess we were meant to understand that the women really wanted to sleep with the men who were hiring, the fact that jobs were involved is irrelevant. I suppose only weak women get jobs. I guess it makes sense that if you were propositioned during the job interview, the job would probably also be plagued with sexual undertones and advances- and you would probably be better off working at another place.

But what if there isn’t any other place? What happens when a woman with rent to pay, medicine to buy, or mouths to feed needs a job? What does she do? Does she give in and take care of her family or does she stay strong and penniless?

Me: ‘Let’s say a secretary is being hit on by her boss - every time she comes into her office and no one else is around he slaps her behind or makes a joke about her big breasts. Can she file a complaint? What is the process?’

IRO: ‘She needs proof. Her story isn’t worth anything without proof.’

Me: ‘What kind of proof?’

IRO: ‘Like ripped panties, or a ripped dress. Or a witness who has seen the harassment and is willing to testify (and risk their job). She should write down the date and time each time she is harassed and find a co-worker who will testify to it.

And then you report to the local union in that outfit.

If the local union does not satisfy you then you report to the personnel manager.

If the personnel manager does not listen to you and you are not satisfied then you report to the industrial relations officer.

At the end of the day if things are not working, then you report it to the mother organization of that union and they will take it up on your behalf. If they see that the problem will not be solved they could give you a transfer instead of leaving you in that office. If you stay in the office your boss by all means will disturb you by having you close late, If you are supposed to close around five o’clock he says stay and work with me until eight o’clock. Any little mistake you make he will spoil your file.’

Me: ‘It’s becoming quite clear why most cases of sexual harassment go unreported.’

Woman’s Committee Chair: ‘They feel they will be victimized, they will lose their jobs. And economically if you lose your job how will you face it? How will you take care of yourself let alone take care of your family. Most victims don’t complain because victims often come under severe pressure from peers to withdraw cases. Where victims seek justice they are meant to feel guilty for having caused their harassers problems.’

Co-worker: ‘So what advice do you have for women who are experiencing sexual harassment in the workplace?’

Woman’s Committee Chair: ‘If you are going to the office you must dress decently, not too scantily. And if you go to your boss’s desk you have to know where to stand - if he calls you behind the desk you don’t go, you let him know that is not your position. And whatever he wants to communicate with you, be as brief as possible.’

So, to sum it all up. Don’t take a job if you know your boss will expect sexual favours, don’t do anything that would encourage someone to sexually harass you, if you are harassed make sure you have a witness and substantive proof, and be prepared to face ridicule from co-workers if you do file a complaint.

It comes as no surprise that the vast majority of sexual harassment in the workplace incidents go unreported in Ghana - given the obstacles faced by women who are harassed, it’s a wonder any get reported at all.

Sugar Daddies in Ghana: The not-so-sweet truth

By Nichole Huck

‘Tamale people will beat you!’ That was the reaction one of my co-workers had when I told him we were doing a show about Sugar Daddies.

Sugar Daddy, or inter-generational relationships, is the elephant in the bedroom. Everyone knows what is happening, but no one speaks about it. It has become commonplace to find wealthy older men giving expensive gifts to a young women in return for sexual favours or companionship. Parents turn a blind eye when their daughters come home with expensive phones or new clothes.

For some young women sugar daddies give them access to wealth, education and rent. For others these type of relationships result in exploitation and increased risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections.

15 year old Charity* met her sugar daddy at on the street. She was walking home from school when a man in a nice car caller her over. He told her she was beautiful and asked for her number. Charity didn’t own a phone - so he gave her his card with his number and said she could call him at anytime. She put the card in her bag and forgot about it until a few months later when her school fees were due.

Neither of her parents were employed or able to help and the school master was threatening to kick her out of school.

She found his card in her bag and decided to give him a call. They arranged to meet at a restaurant; He gave her money to buy new clothes, sandals, and pay her school fees and in return she was expected to sleep with him.

Her interest in education waned as she realized she was able to earn a lot of money through these relationships. She took on other sugar daddies and now owns a clothing boutique.

Her younger sister is following the same path of ‘easy money’. Carl Adama says this kind of scenario is common. Adama works for Youth Action on Reproductive Order (YARO), a Tamale based NGO that educates young people about their sexual rights. He says there are many reasons why young girls take sugar daddies.

“You find some young girls in families with parents who are not able to provide at all. There are also situations where some young girls do get food to eat but they want to go to school and their parents are not able to fund these things so they see these sugar daddies as a way out. There are also cases of negative influence from peers or family members, aunties, uncles, sisters who engaged in it, or there is a love of material things and all this helps these sugar daddies and mommies continue these activities.”

The callers to our show were almost exclusively male and almost exclusively of the opinion that young women are temptresses who lure defenceless men into these sugar daddy relationships by dressing provocatively.

CALLER: I’m not buying into the idea that some parents can’t provide so it drives the young girls into going for sugar daddies. It is people who sometimes have bad character.

CALLER: I’m highly impressed by the program. But, you know, the problem is often caused by peer influence. They see their friends with fancy clothes or phones and they want it too, so they are willing to prostitute themselves. That’s what it is, polished prostitution.

YARO Guest: There can’t be a market if there are no buyers for the goods sold. Sugar daddies and mommies would not be able to do what they do if these young girls and boys were less vulnerable. Prostitutes usually ply their wares from a particular location. Sugar Daddies and mommies pick from our communities. Most of these relationships begin right in the houses next to us. It could be a girl’s father’s friend, a family friend, even sometimes uncles give these girls out to their friends. These days the youth spend more time at school than at home. Some of these things begin in the schools, boarding schools and so on, programs they go to - they happen to meet these adults there.

Caller: The concert at the stadium last week was a perfect example of how young girls try and attract sugar daddies. You saw the young girls dressed in short skirts and tight shirts - what are men supposed to do?

YARO Guest: It is true, young girls dress in provocative ways to attract men but it is because they have noticed the adults will react to them in this way. So when adults hold onto their moral values and refuse to be swayed by these girls - like I said, you can’t go on selling goods if there are no buyers.

We have traditionally sought to hide these issues and solve them at home because we think it is a disgrace to the family of the victim, but I think it’s time we brought such people out. The fact that they are not brought out gives them the urge to keep doing it.

The program ended without any listener’s storming the station to beat us. Violence or no violence, we can only hope that we’d hit a chord with some people. The first step to addressing any social problem is to name it, and while a show like this might not prevent these types of relationships from happening, our hope is some people will start to question the elephant in the bedroom.

*name changed.

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