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Published: November 28th 2023
The Money Shot
The Giza Pyramids at Dawn. Bucketlist item checked!I can still picture that National Geographic magazine on my grandparent’s dusty coffee table, right next to the Swarovski bowl, full of stale sweets. It was February 1982 and I was 13 years old. Despite the controversy about the Giza pyramids touching each other in the cover photo. It didn’t matter. It ignited a spark within me to travel to this exotic place to marvel at this feat of mankind. But you know how the story goes.
Life happens. No matter how I tried. No matter what I planned. I never got there. Then finally one day, I had a text from my best friend, who is also my cousin. I’ll call her Shell. She had just retired, and after years of child-rearing and career climbing, wanted to travel. With me.
Her top pick: Egypt.
We both had a laugh because that same National Geographic in our grandparent’s living room, got her too.
We started plotting our itinerary. Shell knew everything about Egypt. For years she had studied, read, and dreamt about it. Name one pharaoh and she’d ramble off stats that would impress any archeologist. I fully encouraged her.
Then Covid19 happened. But it didn’t
Salam Alaykum Giza
Finally made it to the great Giza pyramids and Sphinx. It took only 55 years. dissuade us. We waited it out. Shell had never traveled internationally before and during one of our monthly wine tastings, admitted she was jealous of all my earlier travels. She wanted to catch up.
Even her husband green-lighted her. We had a giggle.
Like we needed his permission! ' We were always thick as sisters regardless of the long distances and life stuff. We both agreed we’d make awesome travel partners. We booked our tickets to Egypt and waited for our adventure to begin.
Then she died.
My entire family was completely devastated. I lost my mind.
It wasn’t fair. How could an active 60 year old vegan, kind and gentle soul, who has never done anything unhealthy or bad her entire life, just die?
Skip forward a few foggy, devastating months. Then a year, then two. During in which I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should still go to Egypt. Shell’s mother, my Auntie, knowing how badly Shell wanted to visit Egypt, decided to go too. But we quickly realized my Aunt’s 88 year old constitution couldn’t do my budget travel.
The solution? A luxurious Nile cruise for her, while
Camel Toe
This cranky guy was hanging out at the oldest pyramid in Egypt called Saqqara waiting for a customer. I went off on a one-star backpackers, solo. We both took solace we would be in the same country, just not together.
And Shell got to see Egypt through both her Mom and my eyes. Oh Cairo. Cairo is filthy and so it should be. 25 million people shoved onto a postage stamp-sized city, all going at warp speed as the almighty tourist dollar trickles back into their economy. How they made it through the pandemic and their government conflicts, I’ll never know. I am gobsmacked at how their high-rise apartments are just casually added to. Or cut literally in half to make room for another snaking overpass. The only sign of life in these dwellings is a line of laundry or a mini split hanging from the red brick sea of structures. I did what I always do and looked past the impoverished backdrop of Cairo and looked directly into the eyes of the locals. There I saw kindness and a dignity that made me really appreciate Egypt.
My hotel is way off the beaten track. On booking.com it seemed ultra nice with it's rooftop pool and view of the pyramids, but the city pollution hides the
Shop Keeper
Shisha’ing the day away while selling his wares, this man was delightfully fun and insisted on a photo. view most days. I am their only guest. There is nowhere to take a walk around, safely. Power goes off so randomly that elevator rides are out of the question, and the Muezzin comically sings off key. Oh well, it’s only 5 times a day, right?
My first few days in Cairo I can account as a cultural and environmental adjustment. I went to all the touristy things by Uber, and found myself spying glimpses of the Giza pyramids and Sphinx the entire time.
No one told me they would be teetering right on the edge of the city limits. I even ate Dominos pizza on a rooftop while looking directly at them. It was surreal.
I’m officially booked to explore the Great Giza Pyramids in a few days time with my tour group, but until then I got down to some serious Cairo sightseeing. A marathon really. I visited mosques, towers, churches, Saqqara & Memphis, and the museums, all in plus 38 Celsius weather.
Somehow, I had been led to believe it might be cooler in October. Wrong. The Museum of Egyptian Antiquities in Cairo was a jumble. Almost like being in the basement of
My Girl Hatshepsut
What a bad ass. Not only was she a pharaoh’s wife, but she actually became a pharaoh herself, wearing a beard and acting like a man to win over her people. a distant relative who has hoarder tendencies. I became overwhelmed and overheated almost instantaneously, so I focused on Hatshepsut, the Great Royal Wife and fifth Pharaoh of the Eighteenth Dynasty, and of course King Tutankhamen. With no air conditioning or fans in the building, it had to be close to 50 Celsius. My clothing was drenched from the 3 hours of shuffling along with the massive crowds to each display.
Did I unknowingly book a hot yoga session? The National Museum of Egyptian Civilization NEMEC was a little more, civilized? Weirdly, they put all the mummies in the basement and although fascinating, after viewing the 30th dried up human, I started to glaze over. I assume the government will eventually precession these mummies through the streets of Cairo to the new digs, the GEM. It's grand opening of October 2023 was pushed back again, this time to April 2024.
Speaking of, I got a sneak peak of the Grand Egyptian Museum GEM for $4. Should have paid $40, but I mistakenly identified myself as Egyptian and they were far too hospitable to deny me entry. This museum is right next door to the Giza pyramids and is jaw
Who you looking at?
The Great Sphinx built between c. 2600 – c. 2500 BC dropping spectacular. Some of the massive statues have been moved into place and apparently there will be a King Tut wing with antiquities no public has seen before. Inside, it was like being in a climate-controlled glass pyramid. With a Starbucks. Layered floors of Egyptian treasures make it a dream for any wannabe archeologist. My guide estimates it will take over 6 hours to view everything.
That seems very ambitious. More like 3 days is my guess. Back out into the traffic jungle of Cairo. I find a street shawarma of old shoe leather, so I beg for some yogurt and a pita to try to make a Donair to go. Next was the Khan Al-Khalili bazaar of junk. Aggressive tea shop owners will not rest until you are sat in their cafe, people watching with them. Ok by me. It's the sport I excel most at. The men ignored me and chatted and hookah'ed, while the antics of the street vendors carried on out front. From the safety zone of this tea shop I wasn't propositioned but I had to flirt a little like I might buy a carpet from the tea man’s uncle in order to ensure
Floating. In de Nile
I am cleopatra as I lounge on my felucca, drifting down the Nile eating grapes. Just reinacting it. my cup was topped up periodically. After the last call to prayer and subsequent light show, I headed back out through the labyrinth of stores to the insane traffic to find my ride.
Exhausting! Honk is an actual language in Cairo. I watch from the backseat of my Uber with amusement as all vehicles jockey for lanes of traffic that don’t exist, giving a toot either left or right to let the other driver know, in their equally impressive smash-up derby car, they are about to Tokyo-drift in. Honk is reciprocated and a smidge of accommodation is made for the other car. I mean, if not anything else, Egyptians are fiercely hospitable, driving included. Not to say there isn’t road rage. Plenty of flapping arms and skirmishes unfold before me. But generally, the seasoned Uber drivers got me through one end of this city to the other unscathed time and again, and for less than $4 Canadian.
It seemed important to see Alexandria, so I went by train and saw some of the main attractions. The seaside city is amazing but very crumbly, I was able go along the promenade to the Qaitbay Citadel Fort, and then taxi
Uber Land
The easiest and most convenient way to move through Cairo to see the sites, although some of the cars that showed up were less than road worthy. The hospitality of Egyptians was undeniable. to Pompey's Pillar, the Library, the Catacombs, the Roman Amphitheater. I loved hearing about the historical details of this port city and how Alexander the Great and Cleopatra lived. My Auntie went a week later and found herself in the middle of a shoot out, an Egyptian police officer went berserk and shot three Israeli tourists and their tour guide right in front of her. As the bodies hit the ground, she was quickly ushered into a basement bathroom where they waited out the carnage.
War is a terrible thing. It was October 8th and Hamas had just unleashed its unprecedented attack on Israel. Surprising the ever jumpy Israelis, it popped off. Hamas kicked the proverbial hornets nest. Or as we say in Canada,
Fuck Around and Find Out. It was the first time I felt unsafe in Cairo but that dissipated quickly. My Aunt shrugged off her experience like a worldly 88 year old would, and we both carried on with our journey to Aswan. Her by plane, me by overnight train.
But wait! I haven't told you about the Great Pyramid of Giza. I spent the day exploring it, and also at the Pyramid of Khafre,
Hotel View
Nice to have breakfast or take a dip in the pool while viewing the pyramids in the distance. Pyramid of Menkaure, and the Great Sphinx. These grand structures were all built during the fourth dynasty of the old kingdom of ancient Egypt, approximately 2600 - 2500 BC. My little brain struggles to understand how old that really is. I walked around each one in just awe. All my senses were so alive. I dodged aggressive trinket and camel ride touts. I, like Karl Pilkington, watched as a dust devil artistically threw plastic bags in the air.
And you were right there with me Shell. Laughing. I just know it. As we made our way to the Sphinx, world-renowned archaeologist Zahi Hawass randomly appeared, and chatted with us spectators for hours.
Did you arrange this Shell? No words. And I am usually full of words.
I can go home now. But there are still more exciting things to see. The overnight train to Aswan wasn’t so bad, I mean I’ve shared prior train trauma with you all in my India blog
The Chaiwalla. The Cairo station was much more civilized than India, the ride itself was a bit jolty and bumpy, and heavy on the brakes. I almost rolled right out of the bunk, but technically uneventful.
Christian mosaics
So hauntingly lovely. I was struck by how realistic the artist made the scene I arrived bleary-eyed and ready to conquer more of those Egyptian wonders of the world.
Aswan is a welcoming Nile waterfront promenade packed with shops and restaurants. It's how I thought all of Egypt would be. I'm with my tour group and they are a lively bunch, a small mixture of EU and Americans, all keen on trying street food and wandering about.
My kind of people. We enjoyed a dinner in a Nubian Village on the other side of the river before calling it an early night for our 3:45 am wake up call for Abu Simbel.
We couldn’t afford to fly, so us budget travelers booked an eight hour van to visit this Nubian site. I had read so little about it, so all I could compare it to was USA’s Mount Rushmore thinking it would be a bit contrived, weirdly fake. And then you see it. Just knowing all these grand statues of Ramesses II and Nefertari were broken down into thousands of pieces and moved to a new site in 1968, high above the flood plain and painstakingly reassembled, is wonderous.
Back to Aswan and we got quickly shuttled onto an Egyptian sailboat,
The Man. The Myth.
I’ve seen every program he’s presented on. I didn’t expect to see him in person! At the Sphinx. Shell made it happen, I swear. I can happily say I really look forward to an afternoon of lounging in the shade.
Hello! I’m Cleopatra floating down the Nile in a golden felucca. Open to the elements. Tacking back and forth in the almost undetectable breeze. Interestingly, at dusk we are overtaken by a camel train of massive luxury river boats as they steam up the middle of the canal towards Luxor. 484 of them. My Aunt was on one of them. We waved at each one just in case. As evening fell, we were spying through the grand windows where you could see fancied tourists all fine dining & dancing. We struggled to get a mosquito net up and eat our rice porridge on a mattress pad. The ships of the desert’s engines were deafening but their swells gently rocked our felucca all night. I slept like a baby.
Egypt is no place to be a donkey or a dog. These creatures are cruelly overworked or sadly ignored. I had to turn my cheek several times and exhale sadly.
My cousin Shell would have been mortified. Their very existence teeters on the brink. In fact, you kind of wish death upon some
The Expert.
World-renowned archaeologist Zahi Hawass Just happened to be hanging around taking questions and sharing his opinions. of them. Cats, fair somewhat better with their broken tails and missing eyeballs, apparently this "love" for felines goes back to ancient Egyptian times. Camels are commodity rich, so they are fed and tended to, but their care is subpar. Poor things try to tell us with a grimacing moan. Ignored. This is why I say no to any animal exploitation when traveling. There are too many competing camels at the pyramids and far too many skinny half-dead horses dragging carriages through the streets of downtown Aswan. No thanks.
Skip forward and we arrive in Luxor by noon the following day. I’m ready to explore more archaeological wonders and tombs. On our two day agenda, Karnak temple, Valley of the Kings, and the Hatshepsut and Habu Temples. But it’s over 44c degrees already and it quickly becomes a battle to survive heat stroke rather than an enjoyable stroll for me in the vegan Birkenstock sandals Shell used to own.
Seeing Hatshepsut's temple and marveling at Habu, were a definite highlight. Both places show the grandeur of the times and are interesting to me, as Shell had explained their significance a while ago.
We got a reprieve when
Nubian kids
A fun little experience having a dinner with their family in Aswan we were invited into a family home near Luxor for lunch, freshly made orzo soup with flat breads, and salads with roasted chicken legs.
Karnak was overwhelming. So much information, history and interesting facts to learn. Crowds of tourists made it elbow room only. I took it all in, but I'm like a candle in this heat, melty, and all I can think about is finding a sliver of shade to sit in and drink enough electrolytes. I did my mandatory 5 laps around the holy scarab to nullify envy and bring luck, and another three times to get rich.
Back in Luxor, where my group plans to meet up at a rooftop restaurant for dinner, some of us had a cool shower at the hotel and then walked across the street to explore the Luxor temple and grounds that line the Nile. A quick temperature check and it was 48 Celsius at 4pm. Constructed in 1400 BC, it was believed to be a place they would do ceremonies like crowning kings, including Alexander the Great. It was fascinating to see how a place like Luxor has transitioned over the eras from religion to religion to religion.
So many antiquities so little time
I cannot believe all the items I saw in all the museums. It's a catalog that is limitless. The Valley of the Kings was left for last.
Alhamdulilah. It doesn't look like much when you approach. The only thing that indicates something exciting is here, are the thousands of greyhound buses lined up at the entrance. A walk up a gently sloping hillside of rubble into the middle of nowhere feels bizarre, and then you descend down into the tombs of the Kings they have found so far. Wow! The chambers were hot as hell but completely fascinating. The walls adorned with intricate scenes of what they are to expect in the afterlife and magical texts instructing on how to become a God. I marveled at all of it.
The star of the show is of course is the tomb of Tutankhamun, King Tut. Where his mummy rests now is in a fake chamber they built to endure all the tourist traffic but nonetheless it’s spectacular replica. The rest of his worldly treasures are back in Cairo at the museum, and I’m sure a few rich people’s basements.
After some last minute trinket shopping and snack procurements, my tour group re-assembled at the Luxor station and we took the overnight train back to Cairo. Laying on
Nubian kids hustling
Trying to earn a tip, this kid would swim up to the boat and sing songs he thinks would suit his audience. the bumpy bunk, listening to my Gen Z roommate snore, it was a perfect opportunity to reflect on my entire Egyptian trip….and to think about Shell.
She would have loved every moment of Egypt. It seems impossible I saw as much as I did in these three weeks. What a transcendental trip Egypt is. While the war was intensifying in Gaza, you'd hardly know anything is going on this side of the border. I’ve had a few panicked emails from my parentals, but all I know is life is far too short not to travel. I think Shell would agree.
My next destination? The Kingdom of Jordan. As they say in Arabic countries almost a little too much.
Inshallah.
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Ake Och Emma
Ake Dahllof and Emma Holmbro
So magical
Of all the sights I know of in Egypt Abu Simbel might be the one that feels most magical to me. I am so fascinated by the project where they dismantled it and moved it to make sure it wasn't swallowed by the Nasser Dam. When I go to Egypt I want to take my time and I don't want to rush it through. That probably won't happen yet for a few years. But one day I will go there because I really want to see the treasures of Egypt before I hit the bucket. /Ake