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Published: February 21st 2015
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Thong’s brother came to pick me up this morning, about two hours later than planned...I forgot about the Laos factor. Today’s activities were held at Yeng’s brother’s house. I’m not sure what I missed, ,but when I got there, the men were all in the house, eating a meal. The women and younger men were outside, setting up the same meal. I asked Thong about it, and he was suitably chagrined to tell me that the women prepare the food, serve the men and then feed themselves.
I asked Thong what the men were doing, as some of them came out of the house and gathered in another area. He said the family members still inside were deciding how much money he had to pay to Yeng’s father to marry her. Thong said he hoped it would not be too much, and that he had already paid some money when they were engaged. Later, he told me he hopes that all the money will come back to them, one way or another.
I asked him what happened when they decided on a sum, and he said they would come out of the house, and another meal would
be prepared. I asked what they would eat, and he said pork, and asked me if I wanted to see the pig, so we walked to the front of the house, and there was the pig. I will be short on details here, but can provide details to anyone who would like them...the pig was slaughtered, the hair was removed, the pig was butchered, and prepared for cooking. The men did the slaughtering and the initial cuts, but the women cut up the halves. Nothing, but nothing, is wasted. The men cut some pieces of bamboo, and the women were making teeny little sticks with one of the bamboo pieces. With the other pieces, the men cut the bamboo into three sections, for about 1/2 of the length of the bamboo.
Some of the meat, the ribs and pork chops went into huge pots, over an open fire. The skin was cut up, and set aside to be fried. The not as nice pieces were put into a huge bowl, curry powder and fresh black pepper (a young man used a mortar and pestle) were added, and the whole thing was mixed up. Then, the women took
out the pork pieces and used the little bamboo pieces as skewers to ensure the pieces of pork would flat. Then, the flattened pieces were placed on the split bamboo poles, and the ends were tied...viola, a really long b-b-q skewer. Two logs were pulled out of the fire, and a load of charcoal dumped on top. A board was fitted across the front, and once the fire was hot, the skewers were placed over the coals.
Yeng and Thong worked along side everyone else, preparing this second meal.
I spoke to one of Yeng’s brothers, who lives in Vientaine. He works for KPMG. His English is really, really good. Another of Yeng’s brothers works in Japan, and he was not able to come to the wedding. He is an economist. The third brother is pursuing graduate studies in Beijing. I did not quite catch what he is studying. Yeng has a fourth brother, who lives in LBP. The festivities today were at his house, and it is on his property that Yeng and Thong have built there little house. Also not sure what this last brother does, but he owned the first ice company in
LBP, which he sold a few years ago. His house is very big and well constructed...he is doing very well, indeed. I did not take a photo of his house..could not do so discretely. Perhaps tomorrow.
Yeng’s brothers told that they were happy to have Thong in their family, and that they thought he was going to do very well. In March, Thong will go to Vietaine to stay with Yeng’s brother and look for work. Since the brother is at KPMG, he will have good contacts for Thong to pursue.
They kept telling me how wonderful it was that I was there, and how often Thong talked about me, and how much I had done for him. I made it very, very clear that Thong had done all the work, and was where he would be, with or without me.
I only cried once, when Yeng’s brother told me that Thong had said though one could have two mothers, the one who gave birth to you, and the one who loved you and who you loved. How lucky am I?
Tomorrow, the baci is scheduled for early in the morning, and I made it very clear to Thong that if I missed that, I would be very, very unhappy. But, it is Loas, so we will see what happens tomorrow.
The photos show
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Dee
non-member comment
I thought that I sent you a message, but, maybe not. Will try again. I really appreciate your notes and descriptions of all the activities on the first wedding day. What a real treat for you to be
there and experience such a special occasion. And most of all, knowing that Thong thinks of you as his mother. What a privilege that you have certainly earned. Bless you. Your halo is sparkling. Be well and continue to enjoy. Oh, I did experience a pig killing and preparation when I was in PNG. So, I need no details as I have the sight and sounds in memory. Love, Dee