We are a 100% non vegetarian

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I have a contact in Pune. Well, my mother has a contact in Pune. Well my mother has a friend who has a sister in Pune. Her name is Pushpa. And this Sunday Pushpa had arrange for me to have lunch with her and her family at the Phoenix Mall, one of the biggest flashest malls in Pune, so big and flash you could forget you were in Pune, and perhaps that was its attraction, as no one seemed to do any buying there, just lots of walking around imbibing the alternate reality of malldom.



Kiran was Pushpa’s daughter and she and her friend Shinie had come to pick me up to meet her parents at the mall. We made pleasant chit chat in the car but once out of her brick red Ford Ecosport I became the property and obligation of her mother.

Pushpa had imagined I could be Kiran’s new BFF but Kiran knew that any friend introduced by her mother was like a poisoned chalice and to drink would mean to take that one sip too many; making the potion of motherly love into poison. As we rode the escalator to the food court Pushpa happily chatted about how Kiran and I must synchronise our spare moments. She described in detail the wonderful times we’d have shopping whilst laughing, and laughing whilst exploring the wonders of Pune. Like any kind of blind date or arranged marriage – it doesn’t matter how charming the parties of the two parties are – the mystery of chemistry cannot be tricked nor cajoled into flashing that smile that can only be ignited by love’s flinty glint.

So alas, Kiran only eyed me with pity and contempt as she gazed over her Samsung S5 – and I, like some unlucky angler kept casting my gaze her way to draw her to conversation that that was flowing much more freely between me and her friend Shinie, who turned to ask;

“And what will you have Pi Wei?”

“Hmmm the vegetarian thali looks good.”

Silence. Not just silence but a stillness descended on the table; the table tableaued. Nothing could be heard except for the slicing ffft of psychic arrows of pity and contempt shooting across the stillness just missing me and hitting a couple of waiters in the distance.

“She’s vegetarian……. Yoga.”

Shinie piped in with her movie star smile.

“I’m not a very good vegetarian. I still eat my mother’s cooking.”

“I’m vegetarian too…….Diabetic.”

Said Pushpa in solidarity.

“We are a hundred percent non-vegetarian”

Said Mr Pushpa for the rest of the table.

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Comments

[richard]

:-)
hahahahaha XX Cant wait to hear the next instalment!