First Day First Problem

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November 29th 2013

Published: November 29th 2013

So we never made 11:00. In fact we never even came close. Dima was an hour late, then after a quick stop at the ATM, the gas station, and a not so quick stop at the port (we had to buy crab you see. My girlfriends family lives in Phnom Penh, our first stop, and if I don’t bring some fresh crab from the beach town they might just eat me instead) we were on our way about 1:30pm or so. I hate starting a road trip in Cambodia that late because it ensures that you will be driving at night at the end of the day, something that’s not all that safe in Cambodia. I’m not even sure what is the most dangerous part of driving at night in Cambodia. It could be the complete lack of any type of road lighting, or perhaps the random stray dog, person, or cow that wanders aimlessly across the road in the pitch black, or it might even be all the rich Cambodian assholes driving lexus that were riding water buffalo 10 years ago with their blindingly bright headlights beaming in your face as they flash from high beam to low in attempt to stun their prey before running them down.

No matter. Tis the death defying night drive in Cambodia that surely awaits us at the end of this day.

The first day of our road trip was good by most measures. The day was a bit overcast, which is actually kind of nice as long as it’s not also raining. Our first leg is a quick, but harrowing 50km run from Kampong Som to Veal Rinh. It is along national highway 3 which I hate. It is one lane in each direction and packed with a variety of slow and fast moving vehicles; everything from weird 3 wheel farm contraptions that must be some sort of homemade tractor all the way up to $500,000 Ferraris. Unfortunately the Cambodians have a habit of passing around blind curves and hilltops. Whether they can see ahead or not seems to play no part in their decision to overtake, rather it is dictated by some ungodly urge to be the first Cambodian of the day to meet Buddah in person.

After an hour minutes of white-knuckled driving punctuated by a profuse number of obscenities being yelled at a number of other drivers, we arrived in Veal Rinh. I like Veal RInh for two reasons, first it is a big food market right on the highway and second, it is where we turn off this god forsaken highway and start driving down the quite peaceful road to Kampot, our next stop.

As usual we check out the food market in Veal Rinh for some driving energy. We have noticed a lot of farmers selling watermelon along the road, so we figure it must be in season and decide to pick one up. 2000 riel, about $0.50, is the going rate; cheap and tasty.

We also decide to pick up a three honey and spring onion coated baguettes, only $0.35. I have been studying Khmer for the last 4 months and can have some short conversations at this point, which is really helpful once you are in the country like this because nobody speaks English; besides the Cambodians always get a kick out of a foreigner speaker their language. As we are buying the baguettes the seller realizes I can speak Khmer and starts talking to me and asking me questions. It is the usual questions first.

“How long have you lived here? Do you work here? Do you have a Khmer wife?” After that is when it starts to get fun.

“Yes I have a Khmer wife,” I say. It is easier to tell them you have a wife than a girlfriend. In Cambodia you don’t date, you get married.

“Do you want another?” She asks.

“No thank you,” is my reply.

“Are you sure?” She continues. “You can have any,” she says as she points to all the ladies selling fruit and stuff. “Want this seller?” She says jokingly as she points to herself.

“I’m sorry. I cannot,” I say. “I have already. If I have more wives I have many many problems,” I say as she starts to laugh and we walk away.

We grab three iced coffees quickly for $1.12 and we are back in the car and on the road in matter of minutes.

As expected the drive from Veal Rinh to Kampot was uneventful, which is exactly why I like it. As an added benefit, it also happens to be beautiful; mountains on one side and the ocean on the other. Along the way we pass four or so small fishing villages. Dima and I stopped in one of these villages about 3 months ago, and it was some good fun. You can tell no foreigners ever stop there because we were immediately surrounded by a group of kids and teens saying hi and waving. We took some photos with them and bought some food before leaving. Today, though we just fly right by them. No time for stopping here, we still have a lot of ground to cover before nightfall and we have plans of eating lunch in Kampot; plans to eat at the Rusty Keyhole to be specific, the best place for ribs in Cambodia.

The drive from Veal Rinh to Kampot is about 75km and we arrive around 3:00pm. Just looking at the big plate of ribs in front of me is already making me sleepy. I mention to my compadres that I have no idea how I am going to stay awake and drive after finishing this giant slab of meat.

“I think a beer. This would help. Yes?” Replies Ellia, ever the good Russian.

“Can’t hurt,” I respond.

So it is our lunch is a giant slab of meet washed down with cool refreshing beer. The perfect energy boosting meal for a road trip right?

We are back on the road by 3:30pm. I figure we should make Phnom Penh in 3 hours, its only 150km, but there is always a lot of traffic heading into the capital. About an hour down the road, Ellis asks about getting some fruit or a fruit shake. I’ve begun to notice that he has been asking about buying a lot of fruit along the way. I think Dima notices my look.

Dima looks at me. “There is very little fruit in Russia and it is expensive,” he tells me. “I think he is trying to eat a lot while he is here.”

“Do you know what the fruit shake stands look like?” I ask Dima. He pauses for a moment and I remind him of a day we picked up some dessert in Sihanoukville. “There was a fruit stand there with a glass case in the front. Remember?” I ask.

He does. So I just tell him to keep an eye out for one and we’ll stop. After another 20 minutes or so of driving we stumble across another little town and it happens to have some fruit stands and shake stands along the road. That’s what is so great about road trips in Cambodia. They sell so much stuff right along the highways. It’s not like America, where you have to exit the highway and every stop takes 20 or 30 minutes. No this is quick and easy. Pull off the highway, call out to the vendor, and they come running up and sell you shit. Ellia buys a pineapple and a banana and dragon fruit shake. I am once again reminded how cheap Cambodia is once you leave the cities behind. The fruit shake is only $0.30. In Sihanoukville, where I live, it is $1.50. Neither one breaks the bank, but still.

We are just on the edge of the small town when my engine starts making a new loud sound.

‘Maybe we stop and look,” says Ellia.

“Yeah I know,” I reply. “But sometimes I hate stopping to look because sometimes after you stop, you don’t start again.”

First Day First Problem

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