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Published: November 27th 2013
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Initiation Ceremony
Ndebele 16-year old girl I attended two functions outside of my village; invited by Jane (Ouma) Aphane, a 22-yr old who likes to visit with me (and likes to eat my food!). In both cases I never really know what to expect. As hard as I try to pin Jane down on how long I will be gone, or how we will travel, I can't get a straight answer.
The first was an initiation ceremony for a 16 yr old girl cousin of Jane’s. Jane was already at the girl’s home helping with the preparations, so I travelled from Kameelpoort to Mashiding with two of her friends. We hitch-hiked and caught two taxis to go maybe 40 miles in over 2 hours. So, I guess Jane had arranged transport as she’d said.. .she had told her friends to take me along and given them money for my taxi fare! We were there all day. As evening fell, I was getting cold, even though we were sitting under the tent. Her friends were patiently waiting as well; collecting bottles of cold drink and alcoholic beverages in their huge bags. (I have seen this at weddings with fellow teachers also) After a while, I became more
Initiation gift
This style is typical here vehement in my complaints about the cold and insisted that I should be getting home. Jane found a ride to take us home, and I was home before 9. It was an interesting day and I was glad I went. But I had to be patient with all the unknowns, and play the "old lady" card...that I was cold and it was too late for me to be out that evening.
I thought the next event would go differently, but I was wrong. Jane called and said she wanted me to go with her to “something” on Sat. morning, starting at 8 a.m. and over in 3 hours. I didn't even know whether it was in my village or not. She said she couldn't tell me on the phone. So I went to her house that Friday and she she explained it was a tombstone unveiling in KwaMhlanga and promised it was just in the morning...Ha! She had transport with friends, and we would pick up two of my PCV friends who lived nearby. (She always wants to get together with the other PCV’s, who are close to her age.) But the car was full and when the driver
got to the function, Jane didn't ask him to drive and get my friends. (They were prepared for this kind of change of plans) I think that because Jane is young, she commits to big plans without taking steps to carry them through. But she is responsible enough to see that I get home safely when it’s very late. I have to be ready to go with the flow.
That means I understand when I accept an invitation to a function that it may take the entire day. (The other day Mem Kwakwa proudly told me that last Sunday’s church service was done at half past 11!...it starts at 9:00. She said that they must learn to manage their time better, because church usually goes way past noon. I had been attending infrequently because of my Sunday morning Gr 12 Maths classes, but with that over now, I was just lazy that Sunday and stayed home (which I told her). There is considerable reluctance on the part of American PCV’s to attend functions/church services if it means we must sit around all day, especially when we can't converse readily in the language.
I especially enjoyed the tombstone unveiling
though. One of my Gr 11 learners was in the family at the home in KwaMhlanga. I talked to other family members and got the whole picture of who was related to who. I was welcomed warmly throughout the day by people in the family. There was a little band there and they led the people dancing down the street, where about half the people boarded a bus to take us to the cemetery. By the way, Jane was along with me as we danced down the street. Then, as we were loading onto the bus, she said she was going to stay behind. I said OK, though I was surprised and knew nobody else around me. But people were just fine with me being there, and I didn't feel any awkwardness at all.
Back at the house we ate meat, pap, and salads; then Jane and I walked over to the complex because I had internet stuff to do and groceries to buy. I thought we would go home by taxi then, but she said we would walk back to the function. As we walked down the busy road, she somehow convinced a public taxi to take us
down the road for free. I think she used the fact that she was with an older white lady as a bargaining chip! Then we stayed another 3 hours at the function, eating custard, cookies and cold drinks. We got home at 6 pm; remember the promise of 11 am?...and you see why I must keep the whole day free?
My point about cross-cultural integration is to take it as it comes. You can’t avoid these prolonged gatherings, unless they are within walking distance of your home. It is interesting to note that one man I talked to mentioned that his weekends were taken up with attending family functions, and that he didn't have a lot of free time on his days off. (If free time means time to oneself.) I am very content to be alone, and that must seem strange to people here. A learner came in to the classroom during a free period and asked if I get lonely being there all by myself. Most teachers have their desks in a large staff room, and others hang out in another teacher’s office/library. Another teacher stopped by my room once and said she thought I must be
able to focus on my work better without anyone else around....a new concept, I think, for many here.
In Kameelpoort the two South African cultures (languages) are Sepedi and Ndebele. The language I have been trying to learn is isiNdebele. It is the Ndebele culture that is well-known for artistic design in house painting, beaded crafts and other items. Their culture also has the initiation ceremonies for 16-year old girls and boys. I will be travelling in December down to Cape Town and to a game preserve, so maybe I will learn more about the other cultures in this country....but then, that will be what is presented to tourists, so we’ll see what that’s like...to be a tourist here!
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Cynthia Hosick
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What an experience!
I had to laugh over your description of always not knowing what comes next. That's a major part of being part of my Kenyan family, and going over. I never know exactly what is going to happen. ;) I'm sure I'd know more if I knew more kiswahili than just a few words, but it's part of the "cross-cultural integration" (good phrase!). Your photos are so wonderful! Do you know if female circumcision has ever been part of the initiation there? They are still dealing with that in Kenya, although it's sloooowly being reduced. I'll be going to a wedding after I get to Kenya next month, and that will be a wonderful experience. I'm getting photos now and then from Patrick Shompole, who has been there since early October, and they make me eager to get there (although I dread the looooooong travel time). He's getting bookcases made for the library room of the school, and I'll be able to get right to work when I get there, unpacking the boxes and shelving the books. This time it will be me and Lorna, and their three college age daughters, so the dynamic of the group will be very different than last time, when the two boys were with us. I don't know where we will be for Christmas -- another unknown. They have talked about going to a resort near Mombasa, but I don't know if they can bring that off so soon after the wedding (which is on the 21st -- and I have No idea what to expect for that, of course).