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Published: August 2nd 2006
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One week after Efe and Kaan's circumcisions (see earlier blog - Sunnet & Nazar), a celebration was held for Efe. Called a
Sunnet Düğün (pronouced soo-NET doon), the celebration is one of the numerous life-cycle celebrations that fill up the social calendar of Turkish families. There are so many things to celebrate with a large party - circumcisions, engagements, and weddings being the most prominent of those. Such parties can have hundreds of people. Other things are celebrated with parties at home, which are still large by American standards, and often involve elaborate home-cooked meals for more people than one would have at a traditional American Thanksgiving: the birth of a new family member, a new job, a new house, retirement, religious holidays, national holidays, a relative vising from out of town... In short, Turkish culture is forever searching for things to celebrate with song, dance, and food. So it should be no surprise that a young boy's circumcision is a reason to celebrate. This celebration was Efe's: Kaan is too young to understand and enjoy it all now, so we'll wait until he's older and then have a party for him.
Having never been to a sunnet düğün myself,
Efe with his parents
Efe is dressed like a king for the evening. I was very curious how it was going to be about Efe. After all, it was going to take place at a fancy hotel. We were going to get dressed up. There was a dinner. How on earth was this going to be fun for Efe or the 10 or so friends of his who were coming along with their parents? After all, Efe is only 8 years old...
The King, Maşallah The star of the show at a sunnet düğün wears a special outfit. It has a unique hat and a cape, a staff, and the young man wears a banner with
Maşallah written on it.
Maşallah is related to the
nazar (evil eye) I've written about in previous entries. It is said especially when praising children, as a way of keeping away the nazar. There really is no translation for this word, although you can take it to mean "keep the evil eye away", or "may the evil eye not be called". A usage example would be, "Your daughter is so polite and intelligent,
maşallah." Apparently (in my interpretation), boys who have just had their sunnet are susceptible to the evil eye, so a regular nazar boncuk
Levent and his family
The day of Levent's sunnet dugun, in the early 80s. amulet is not enough: thus, the
Maşallah banner.
Efe was really excited about his outfit, and would not show it to us before the special day. Levent's mom, sister (Neslihan), and I went to a hairdresser to have our hair done (as members of the hosting family, it was not good enough for us to do our hair ourselves!). When we got back, the rush of the preparations had begun. We were all getting dressed up, and Efe appeared wearing his king costume and an enormous smile full of pride.
The Procession Efe and his family got into their decorated car (after all, everyone who sees us needs to know about the exciting day - not unlike "just married" signs on cars. There were no "just circumcised" sign on the car, but no need for one, either, as everyone knows the difference between a marriage car and a sunnet car). They drove around town a bit, then we joined the caravan and drove to the hotel. Efe, his painfully swollen foot temporarily forgotten, quickly made himself scarce, and it was difficult to get pictures taken with him. We never managed to snap a picture of the entire family
No Efe Anywhere
He has better things to do than dance with us! with Efe! Somebody was always missing. I was determined to have my photo taken with the king, so I chased him down and a very kind friend snapped the photo.
Gold Standard Choosing wedding and circumcision gifts in Turkey is incredibly simple: gold. This is a huge relief for me, as I find buying gifts incredibly stressful. There are three standard sizes of gold that are given in Turkey: one-quarter, one-half, and full-sized gold pieces. They look like coins with loops at the top so that they can be adorned with a ribbon and pinned onto the recipient. Guests pinned gold onto Efe ,which his mother promptly removed for safekeeping. This is incredibly handy for gift givers and gift recievers. It is easy to find - all jewelers carry the standard coins, it is compact, it doesn't need to be wrapped, and unlike most other gifts, its value actually increases. Close family members often give gifts that children can appreciate as well (Efe received a walkie talkie set and a remote-control sailboat), but I have really come to like the ease and beauty of gold as a gift. Gold is also given as a gift to new babies -
Cutting the cake
Efe was practically dragged in to perform the cake-cutting ceremony. Kaan got a fair amount, too, while we were in Turkey. I will write more about gold as a gift when I write, retrospectively, about our wedding.
Where was the king? Just like at weddings, there was a photographer at the celebration. Adults and children arrived, dolled up for the occasion, and Efe's parents greeted guests at the door. Cocktails were served, and then we entered the dining room for dinner. There was a live band, food, and drinks. We danced and ate and... what did the kids do? Did they eat, drink, and dance? The answer is that I do not know. Kids were nowhere to be seen or heard at this celebration! There was a separate room next to ours, with entertainers and video games. Occasionally, a child would race by the dance floor on the way to the bathroom. Each time Efe ran by, a different pice of his king's outfit was missing: his
Maşallah banner, his hat, his staff, his cape, his bow tie... by the time he was dragged out to cut the cake (a ceremony which must be borrowed from weddings), he was just in a shirt and pants. He was literally dragged
Levent's King Outfit
This photo is of Levent in his sunnet dugun outfit, over 20 years ago. out, too - being in front of all those adults, with the attention on him, Efe's timid side came out, and he stayed just long enough for the knife to slice through a layer of cake before he disappeared again to "safety" amongst his peers.
To Life Now, I realize, as much as this was a celebration "for" Efe, it was a celebration for everyone. An excuse to get dressed up and to get together. I am eagerly awaiting the next excuse!
LINK For an interesting read on circumcision celebrations in Kosovo, view this
New York Times article
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Scott Kameron
non-member comment
King Outfit
I like Levent's King Outfit; long live the bell-bottoms! -Scott