Ghana Part II: Rediscovering purpose, self, and universal hardship

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Five a.m. the rooster sounds the alarm, a fire is started to make tea, buckets of water are fetched from the well, and the day begins. After stepping onto the warm red earth, smiles and waves follow me down the long road I walk twice a day, which instantly fill me with energy. Beads of sweat bubble on my forehead and shoulders, waiting for a gracious breeze to free themselves, and thanks to the last weeks of the Wet Season, wind flows often. I stop to chat with women wrapped in brightly colored cloth that already know my name, as the only foreigner around and a returnee at that. It is in these conversations, where they quiz me on the local languages (there’s three!) and dance with joy at my effort, that I am reminded of why I am here. But somehow it is more than just those frequent moments of positive interaction; it is an overdue awakening of something huge within myself.

My last stay in Ghana was rooted in exploration, in learning new perspectives and cultures, in breaking out of the familiar, in meeting people that will forever be imprinted on my heart. Those 11 months invigorated my spirit-- the core of my being-- that had become somewhat discouraged by fluctuating health and American stress. What I saw and who I encountered in this financially struggling yet communally thriving country cracked open my entire worldview. I wanted to know the secret to their apparent happiness and faith in spite of their often hopeless situations. Yet as I began to investigate their resilience, my status as a white person and the unfortunate neocolonial attitudes of the natives seemed to interfere with the purity of our exchanges. I had the mobility they always dreamed of, they had the simplicity and strong beliefs I often envied; somehow it became more complicated than we’d anticipated. I left with unresolved confusion about my role as a friend and surrogate family member to the people I’d grown close to. At the time, I had few doubts about emptying part of my bank account for their welfare, but knew that it was only one way--one way I should probably avoid in the future--of satisfying my urge to contribute, to give them thanks for teaching me the meaning of love, grace, and humility, for bringing me closer to discovering my specific purpose.

So, like reading a book that concludes with a cliff-hanger, I had to return for the sequel.

This time around, I feel as if my aims are different, and my expectations are higher. A rocky year-- of reverse culture shock, dating, divorce, losing my sense of “home”, graduating from college, entering into an unwelcoming economy-- made an escape back to the place where I last felt truly blissful, truly myself every minute, sound especially appealing. My career excuse to go was for a unique nursing experience; my obligatory reason was to finish up the house I helped build and leave the family/people asking for my help more independent. Because I missed them all so much and was unsatisfied by life back home, I also wanted to reconcile the two worlds between which I’ve felt irretrievably torn.

Now that I am here, I’m remembering that while Africa is an incredibly healing place, there are no quick fixes to such catastrophic dilemmas and internal battles; wherever we are, we still have to work at them. Being geographically far away doesn’t actually distance you from the deep, heavy burdens and desires you inevitably must confront on your own. That said, I am sure that this experience could never be disappointing-- I am absolutely exactly where I should be-- as the tropical environment, slower pace, carefree and compassionate attitudes of Ghanaians are all conducive to consistent joyfulness, self-love and plenty of insightful rumination (my favorite!). I am hopeful that the dust will soon settle and slivers of clarity will emerge from the banana trees and humid warmth that surrounds me. Watching the women work as hard as they do, without complaint or signs of fatigue, I am again inspired to join them, to regain that intense passion for living each day, regardless of difficult circumstances.

So.......here I go!

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Photos

Daily Banku
Dinner is the same every day "but we thank God that we have it... food is food!" Becky says

My bed-mates
Don't be fooled by their cuteness... They're a crying machine!

Reunited
Lots of laughs and therapy sessions with Owusu, back on campus

Obama!
The U.S.A. is back in the world's good graces!

Comments

[Cheyenne]

thanks tay.
up on my blackberry brambled cliff above the cold ocean I am reading with eagerness. Your writing is beautiful.

[Tari Vickery]

You go, Girl!
Dearest Taylor, Though we've barely met on few occasions, I feel such kindred spirits with you. Charles has kept me informed of your adventures, as he knows how similar my passion is to yours for Africa. From the time I last returned from the DR Congo in March, 2006, I have planned to return to some part of Africa to do something. Your comments speak to the core of my own dilemma, of wanting to go and do, and being torn by the very issues you raise. I don't know where I'll go or what I'll do, but I know I must return to Africa to do my little part...it calls to me. Thank you for sharing your experiences, as well as your "insightful rumination." I would like to be added to your email list, if you don't mind having an old-timer on your list. Your writing is absolutely exquisite! Kindest regards, Tari Vickery (Charles' mother)

[mom]

wow
This touched me so deeply. Your eloquent expressions of confusion, joy, escape, hope, dispair, aliveness make me feel like Im in your body. What strikes me most is the absolutely certainty you are EXACTLY WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO BE. And my feverent hope for you (and me!) is that you find the secret to blending your two worlds, so you can perhaps teach me how to carry that wonder, joy, intense presence and connectiveness inside your heart where ever you are. Could also make you a multi millionaire in book sales and speaking engagements...at the White House! I love you and miss you but your joy radiates across the oceans and continents and lifts my heart. xoxoxoxxo