No Come Mocas - The Departure and Arrival


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South America » Chile » Valparaíso Region
May 15th 2009
Published: May 15th 2009
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For those who may care, here is a brief update as to what has been going down in the last 4 weeks (Yes one month has passed since I entered Chile).

I have decided, after much consideration to not give you direct quotes from my diary as this correspondence would read thus.

´April 24th
Things i have to do: learn spanish (necissito). Sleep (when?). Read Harry Potter (mucho). Plan Lesson (bugger) Poo (inevitable).´

You are spared. The edited version is as follows . . .

Left England in rather a battered state having spent a week dismantling a pirate ship and manically photocopying documents. I entered Gatwick trussed up with numerous address labels so each of my body parts could be safely courierd back to British shores in case of a hostage situation. Hells and Brucey held it together remarkably well. Mother mildly gagging on her first ever ´spoons´ English breakfast as she gulped down sobs and rubber-egg. Fulls marks to alll three of us - remaining truly British until the departures gate, where mother´s final salute to her departing daughter was an almighty snort.

Delta (an American airline) provides food every 2 hours, trolly dolly fitted as standard and end-of-the-line stepford wife cabin crew. Atlanta was 4 emotional hours in which fells asleep with face in bag only to wake up resembling the phantom of the opera (the child who cried at the airport was only an omen of things to come).

Looking round Chile´s departrues lounge I saw no tell-tale happy havana flipflopped traveller feet - only weary hispanic faces all avoiding the eye of the whistling man. Didn´t realise the public transport lune had taken to the skies, but the weirdos now have wings. beware. don´t whistle back.

Slept for duration of flight and awoke to teh sun glancing off the jagged Chilean coast line´. The woman in front filmed the whole thing. She was wise.


Santiago airport is recommended by most of the guidebooks as an ideal place to begin travelling and I certainly couldn´t fault it. People kindly carried my bags (not in an attmept to steal mother) and when I arrived at the exit a kindly man appeared with a walkie-talkie and tried to telephone the Durans who were to collect me. . . all very muy bien.

About 20 minutes after my arrival at the nursery (After a pleasant drive about Santiago to pick up some plastic cars and a John Dear toy truck) I realised that I was an idiot. (22 years of life and only 20 minutes into my "experience¨this is clarifyed). If you are going to work at a nursery in a foreign country learn the native lingo for the following phrase;

"Hello Children". because standing in front of a bunch of 4 year olds, in your dad´s smelly jumped and 3 pound Diadora joggers from gunners, spluttering "Hola . . . enfants?" is not the way to begin a new job.



Next weeks Blog Read about my doomed love for a mormon missionary, mamma uno y mamma dos and marching through the centre of town to celebrate cement making.

Besos always xx x x x x

children in spanish is ´Niños




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15th May 2009

Yes Andrex
Haha, i love reading your stories. I remember the first piece of writing of yours i ever read and it was the nudist magazine i believe, bloody hilarious. Glad it is all going well, and glad you can now say children, always a bonus you donut! Take it easy. love nuts xx p.s. TITS
18th May 2009

Title-we need inspiration for that.
Thank you too much for making me laugh with your most wonderous words. I have long awaited to hear these stories and can only wait anxiously here til the next episode. Please add images soon, if only hand drawn, for I would like to compare. Xx
26th May 2009

Laziness
Errr hello..update update update. Peas and cheese. Also...are you preggers? Marmalade and cheese? P.s You keep texting messages to Jo to me....please correct....oh and send in ENGLISH...i didnt do spanish...it means nothing...like clingon or something!
28th May 2009

When is the next post coming?
When are you going to do your next entry, i have this page bookmarked and check nearly every day! i think you should definitely do a bill bryson type thing with your travels, you are an exceptional writer. incase u dont know, bill bryson is an author who does books about his travels, round ireland with a fridge is one of them. very good, highly recommend.
30th May 2009

bibliographical notes x
darling boy round ireland with a fridge was writen bya bloke called tony hawkes (the same as the skate boarder). thank you for your kind comments. other blogs could be a bit dry as going to attempt to introduce some factual information about chilean cultre and geography. for trevor and always hope you are really very well and stay safe , Andrex x xx

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