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Published: October 17th 2008
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The world speaks
Read the shirt... Oh Bangkok, the fun begins...now this is truly the place for people to spin into oblivion by taking drugs and indulging in the most perverse of sex shows. This is the place where everything under the sun has been ripped off and sold at a discounted price that is always "cheap cheap for you". Nothing in this place is real. Not even the women. The harsh reality is that a prostitute can make a ton of money so families push there children into the profession despite gender. Thailand is renowned for its plastic surgeons and i now know why. This place would eat you alive if you didn't know better.
Night one...we were meeting up with the long awaited missing piece to our puzzle, Megan. One of Krista's life long best friends who would be joining us for the next two weeks. Her flight didn't arrive until after midnight so we had time to kill. We started by sitting at a bar that consist of plastic stools on the sidewalk and drinks served in buckets. We encountered the little devils before and didn't turn out so well...we decided to take another crack at them. For some reason Khosan Road was
pretty dead and we need to get the party started so we made Friends with the owner of the bar and worked out a deal...if we get people to stop for drinks we drink for free. So we hit the streets with our new jobs and started recruiting...it worked we got the place packed and we got free drinks. most importantly we killed time for Megan to arrive. Once she got into to town we made our way to a bar where we watched a guy make out with what he thought was a girl for a few hours...until he was given the news that the girl he was with was really a working girl...in fact, a lady boy. Needless to say the guy was humiliated and almost started a fight with her ...or ...him ...or... whatever. It was hilarious but also served as a good warning not to mess with anything that could be in question here.
We stayed out pretty late that night an got up pretty early the next day. Nobody felt too good but we had to get in our sight seeing. A few Buddha's...one sitting, one standing...and the Royal Palace. The Royal Palace was
pretty remarkable. It was huge and almost everything was covered in mosaic style tiles that would have taken years to complete. The whole atmosphere was pretty odd...a really strict but not very clear dress code was enforced so Jeff and I ended up dressing in scrubs for the afternoon, while Megan had to wear a skirt that was the same length as her pants. We are not really sure why but it was the rules so we abided. We wondered around took some pics, saw some weapons...Temple, Buddha, temple, Buddha...blah blah blah....moving on.
We made it to MBK which is the rip off central of Thailand. that is where you can get almost anything in a designer brand for a fraction of the price. It is all fake and you have to fight to get a fair deal. We have become good at this so we hit this place for some small goods that we needed. I got a new pair of Jeans for about 30 bucks. now that is a steal for a pair of 501's at home...and these were True Religions! Ha, well...kinda. Not bad...I'm a backpacker wearing designer jeans...the polar opposite of the hippies. Brilliant!
That night we were going to the famous and much anticipated Pat Pong area. that is where you walk down the streets lined with strip clubs and bars. Live sex shows and neon lights set the tone for this place and we were told by everybody that we had to go at least once just to see what it was all about. We started off at a strip club where "women" dance on stage with numbers on the bikinis and you can order a "woman" like you would a drink. It was an odd place and we were all kind of put off by it. Mostly in part by the fact that 99% of the "women" on stage were not women. Or they were now women but were not always women. No joke the were all lady boys and it was fairly obvious. however, some were pretty good looking and that just made everything that much worse. Sometimes you cant tell...so you don't risk it...at least i don't....every girl here is either a hooker or a boy. I don't take risks like that so i wasn't into this place. none of us were. Although it was funny to watch creeps
get into 5 girls hugging on them like they were gods. Sorry bud but out of that 5, chances are you only have one real girl and the real one is the ugly one.
We still had to accomplish what we set out to do and that was the Ping Pong Show at the Super Pussy. So we had to arrange a deal at the door to get into this club to watch the live acts that were going on. These acts included, painting, ping pong, darts, birthday cakes, bottles being opened, and it all done by women...and there vagina's. We were actually excited to see this all take place. We had heard get things about how crazy these shows were. As soon as we got it that all changed. An incredibly ugly woman was laying at the front of the stage spread eagle, launching peeled bananas into the air...while naked women walk around and try to get you to buy drinks and massages from them. No thanks. Then it got worse, ping pong balls shot at bar patrons with paddles to hit them back. bottles were opened with body parts...and i don't mean twist off. Darts were
Standing Buddha
...it was pretty big shot across the room at balloons with enough velocity to actually puncture skin. If you were on the other end of this woman's wrath you would not be happy. Birthday candles were blown our with straws in places that straws don't belong. And all of this was done by unattractive women who looked like they had not enjoyed doing it at all, which was matched by our disgust. We sucked our beer down as fast as we could and had to get the hell out of there. Listen, i am perverted, i am crude, i am foul...but this show...these women...i couldn't stand to watch. that is how bad it was. We had to leave...we all walked out shaking our heads and feeling dirty. We need to go get a drink and forget what we just saw.
We made our way to a bar that had a live band so we order a few rounds and danced the night way. The moral picked up and we ended the night on a positive note. We made our back home and back to bed. i will never look at a ping pong ball or a banana the same.
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Pam
non-member comment
Oh Gosh Cris - I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry!! The image described was at first funny and then very sad - woman are exploited all over this world but this sounds almost beyond even that!! Glad it didn't hold the interest of the group for long and you all got out - so many more wonderful and exciting things out there in the big world -