Jiaozi and zongzi in the park

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Things I've learned thus far in China:

The words for bank, dumpling, little one, want, toliet, this one/that one, and that when menus don't have pictures I'm almost entirely screwed.

My Mandarin phrase book has a section with pickup lines, rejections, and a whole 3 pages on sex! There are lines like easy tiger, slow down, harder, faster, and "this is my first time." If you have to pull out your phrase book to tell someone it's your first time, you probably shouldn't be sleeping with them. Take note, Lonely Planet.

Things I will learn while in China:

What it's like to be stared at: According to William O'Donnell, I "will know what it's like to be black." Yes, he did say that outloud.

That phrase book section was the inspiration for Kofi and my mock lesson: dating and pickup lines. We showed "The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room" from Flight of the Conchords and asked the class what he did wrong. The pickup and rejection lines we used were pretty funny but I doubt Chinese students would understand any of them...but the lesson went over well and we had a lot of fun putting it together. I'm glad that's over with, it was kind of stressful!

The last few days have been pretty chill-- lots of jiaozi (dumplings) and Chinese beer (600 ml for 4 kuai-- that's about 70 cents!) We took our jiaozi and zongzi (little rice squares wrapped in bamboo leaves) through an elaborately carved gate and up a massive set of stairs to a war memorial where we had great views of Zhuhai. The ocean, islands, and tradition style of the memorial were juxtaposed with the brand new skyscrapers and apartment buildings, construction, neon, and McDonald's signs-- a perfect illustration of modern day China. The pictures, which I'll put up eventually, don't do it justice. We also went to the Jiuzhou Spa Club on the beach in downtown Zhuhai and got an hour long massage for 58 kuai (less than $10!) I love the Chinese service industry. Speaking of which, when women wear shirts without sleeves here they're often considered prostitutes-- a dude asked one of the girls in my group duoshao qian-- how much?!

After a few stomach aches from various hole in the wall restaurants, we decided to do like ALL the Chinese in Zhuhai and go to McDonald's. It was just as gross here as it is at home. However, we went to Pizza hut the next day-- BIG SURPRISE. I have never seen such a classy Pizza hut in my life! It was a sit down restaurant with waiters, Yellow Peach Seduction frozen drinks, and tiramisu. Bomb.

A couple nights ago we went to Jiu ba jie, which translates loosely as bar or beer street. It's just a few blocks, like Adams Morgan Chinese style. There were Christmas type lights strewn through the trees and a giant fountain park. We got cheap beer and hung out in the park because the bars there are Western prices (who can imagine paying 20 kuai, or like 3 dollars, for beer?) Last night we went to "Hooker Street"! I didn't see any hookers, but I may have been looking down the wrong allies.... I don't remember the Chinese name, but it was this pedestrian walk with tons of outdoor bars and stalls with food and alcohol. All the stalls play drinking games, like this dice game that's similar to bullshit, and counting games that mean free beer if you win. We tend to go to these places in giant groups of gringos, like freshman year of college, attracting a lot of attention from beggars and children. Minus that, it was a great night!

We took our final TEFL exam this morning and they're finalizing our placements today or tomorrow, so I'll know more about what I'm doing next week soon. Pictures coming, I promise!

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Comments

[Alan]

Awesome
Sounds like you're having a tremendous time. Cheap beer and massages....sounds nice. Also, please make sure there is at least one descriptive juxtaposition per blog post. Audiences love juxtapositioning.