Pondicherry to Thanjavur

Europe
January 16th 2008

Published: January 17th 2008

First of all, greatest apologies for not continuing in the blog in the fashion in which we intended - ie. daily. I hope this bumper edition makes up for it.

Billie and I arrived back this morning, having dropped Rebecca off in Dubai. Yes, we all made it back in one piece, miraculously unharmed and a delicate shade of beige.

Day Three

Last time you heard from us was post-New Year's Eve in Pondicherry. Here you will recall we had our one and only day off. Pondicherry a former French colony still has a French quarter, and has many French influences, including the policemen's uniforms with the kepis and much of the architecture, sadly though, in India, it is still full of 'merde', albeit in a pretty setting.

Day Four

We set off from Pondicherry towards Thanjavur. All of us were more than apprehensive after our first taste of the Indian roads and there was more than one last minute rush to the loo as we prepared for the off, but this could have been due to Delhi belly rather than nerves. Or perhaps both.

Our first task was to find Silver Beach and to find out what four identical things stood there. This was a breeze and we were confident of a gentle and pleasant drive ahead (it was four dolphins by the way). It was at this point that the SSTV crew (complete with presenter) decided that we would be the perfect companions for a day's shooting. A local TV station was making a 10-part documentary on the rally and now we were to be made stars. Britney love, it's tough isn't it?!

Periodically during the day the crew would overtake us and then, lifting the boot of their car, hang out the back to shoot us driving along, normally hanging by one trouser leg. Either that or coming up along side us whilst buses vyed for position on the far right, driving us further and further into the ditch. Alternatively the camera man would squeeze into the very small back seat and stick his camera up our noses. So not at all intrusive then. They backed off a bit when we nearly turned over avoiding a cow with the cameraman in the back. I think they wanted to finish the documentary.

It wasn't all lights, camera, action though. The definite highlight of the day was visiting one of the schools which we (and you too are supporting). The children ranged in age from about 3 to 10 years old. They had no water, one basic room (which leaked in the monsoon), no furniture, no uniform (a big deal in India) and an unfailingly cheerful disposition.

It was an extremely humbling experience and made us all realise exactly why we were doing this. I certainly wasn't dry eyed and I don't think I was the only one.

Next stop was lunch local style, a roadside cafe (amazing food, but don't even contemplate using the loo) for lunch for the princely sum of 25p each. We ate something called kuttaparatha, which was bread, eggs, tomato and onion and spices cooked on a board on top of a brazier. Possibly one of the most delicious thing I have eaten for a long while, however it was quite difficult remembering not to eat with my left-hand (the height of bad manners as your left hand is used for wiping your bum), especially as I am left-handed. I perfected the art of getting my mouth as low to the table as possible whilst shovelling with my right hand. I must have looked delightful.

In the lulls between being 'media whores' we had managed to go into the back of a jeep in one of the many traffic jams we encountered with it lost our head light. Gibran (celebrity VJ - no less) ensured us that they would shadow us into Thanjavur and that in NO WAY would be have to drive in the dark with no lights.

After lunch we set off again, stopping for petrol. We lost the camera crew - or rather they lost us. Our star rather waning by now, with dusk approaching we ran into (not literally you understand) the Rabbit and Team Idiot (motto 'What could possibly go wrong?') Proving that chivalry is, if not alive and kicking then, at least coughing and spluttering, by offering to escort us in convoy.

Darkness fell. Again. This time with no lights.

But wait! We had torches! Image if you will Billie and Rebecca hanging out either side of the rickshaw, training a faint beam on where they thought they road was. Now try driving. I pulled over when I could hear crowds of people cheering us on, but could see no-one. Unnerving to say the least.

The pitch black is not the most ideal condition in which to negotiate vast pot holes, due the fact that you can't actually see them, the first inkling is when you lurch forward and knock yourself out on the dashboard.

Sadly, we had to abandon the bunny again, as the front axel had been 'totalled' by a crater in the road. We left them in the capable hands of an Indian lawyer whom we had flagged down - 'you are guests in my country, I must help you' - I can't really see that happening in London, can you?

As our progressively slower convoy continued the team in front was hit by a bus, which missed our rickshaw by millimetres. I should mention at this point that Ben and Alex were dressed as Crockett & Tubs from Miami Vice, resplendent in pastel suits (mint and apricot), sadly they had forgotten their espadrilles. Ben was propelled out of the rickshaw whilst it was still moving - a surreal sight. Luckily the boys were okay (shaken but not hurt) and the rickshaw had miraculously, only superficial damage.

Eventually we made it to the hotel in Thanjavur at about 8.30pm where the television crew appeared as if by magic. Once again we were newsworthy, but also tired, sweaty and very, very shiny. I suspect we may be on the cutting room floor.

Day Five is the journey to Madurai..... to be continued

Pondicherry to Thanjavur

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