Thank Allah it's Dubai!

---

The prospect of not being in India anymore made the flight to Dubai the best of the whole trip!!

An extra hour spent sitting on the tarmac on the plane in Mumbai gave us time to puzzle over the cryptic text message from Imogen's Dad, Iain who was supposed to be meeting us in Dubai. "Look out for the ladies in yellow jackets", it said.

Upon reaching the top of the walkway at Dubai airport we realised what he meant - a Russian lady called Alpina was standing there wearing a yellow jacket holding a big sign with our names on. We didn't know it yet, but she was an angel in disguise. "Come viz me" , she said and led us to a secret lift. At the bottom of that was one of those bleepy cars which whisked through the airport at high-speed. The size of Dubai airport shouldn't be underestimated but we were at passport control in no time.
There were at least 10 queues for immigration with about 20 people in each queue. But Alpina simply walked us past the barriers and straight to an empty VIP immigration desk with a man waiting for us. A couple of sheikh's wives followed us through. Alpina escorted us to get our luggage (we just pointed it out, they grabbed it) and we were out! How quickly we can go from grime to grandeur!!?

We both hugged Iain so hard we were at risk of breaking his ribs. "What do you want to do kids?" he asked - there was one unanimous cry from both of us - "We want a massive steak!!!". Imogen said she'd had enough of cows in the road - she wanted one in her belly. So we were whisked off to Rydges hotel where there's a steakhouse called 'Aussie Legends'. Everyone ordered steak, rare or preferably still lowing. After washing it all down with a few lagers we waddled back to Iain's flat for the first decent night's sleep in a month.

For the next couple of days, we did little other than recover from India (bowels back to normal), catch up on sleep and avoid curry. Indeed, after eating curry at least twice a day, every day for nearly 4 weeks, we were compelled to start an aggressive gym regime which we've stuck at ever since.
Eventually we started to resemble our normal selves again and made a plan of things to do. First up was to get some culture. Over the road from Iain's apartment there was a gig by a chap from Brighton called Nick Pynn. This self-taught violinist, guitarist, banjoist (not sure if that's a real word) etc. uses electronic effects pedals to turn himself into a one-man-band. He plays a riff on one instrument and samples it live, then loops it and starts playing another in time with the looped sound. He builds a montage of instruments and it's absolutely amazing. He has a couple of really unique instruments - one is a pack of playing cards which he uses as percussion, the other is a set of wine glasses with differing levels of water in (known as 'The Crystal Sisters') which create a string quartet. If you get the opportunity, he's definitely worth seeing. And he was a session musician for Bewitched, so there's another reason to go. Perhaps.

The next stage of our recovery plan was to hit the shops - something for which Dubai is renowned around the world. Paul headed for the electronics malls, Imogen headed for the shoe shops. The Indian district is known as Karama and bargains galore can be had at the shopping mall there. On past visits we've been somewhat intimidated by the people who hover outside the shops trying to drag you in, but after a month in India it was like a walk in the park! We laughed in their hawking faces!

In Dubai the weekend days off are Friday and Saturday. On Friday Iain took us to Dubai Country Club to meet some friends of his, John and Pauline. We had a sumptuous lunch and a few beers in the sun and before we knew it, it was gone 7pm. We were having such a good time we agreed to go to their house the following weekend to 'eat more dead cow'.

After spending the rest of the weekend watching movies and stuffing our faces with delicious (non curry) dinners, we spent Sunday at Creek Park riding the cable cars and enjoying the views of the Dubai sunset (yes, Imogen was practising her sunset photos again). A salsa class was running in Iain's apartment block so we thought we'd give it a go. Whilst we've both got rhythm we ain't got no salsa style and both struggle to follow instructions, so bruised toes and ankles were inevitable. Afterwards we hobbled to the nearby Emirates Towers to meet up with Iain who was treating some Japanese clients to an evening of Karaoke at a bar called Harry Ghatto's. It is a little known fact that Iain missed his great calling in life as a rock singer to become a Quantity Surveyor. One of the Japanese people was having so much fun he'd fallen asleep by the time we arrived, and we were sorry to hear we'd missed his earlier rendition of "Prease Rerease Me" which we were assured by Iain was enormously funny. By 1am even Imogen had called it a night, but Paul and Iain remained determined to have the last song. Much to the shame of the staff. It was all Iain's fault, and that's the story Paul is sticking to...

What better way to start a day of physical activity than with a hangover? But we had to get up to head off to the Mall Of Emirates. This is a shopping mall with a twist - not only is it absolutely huge, but it has a full downhill ski slope complete with real snow on the roof. We booked a lesson and thank God we did, because we quickly realised we'd forgotten pretty much everything we learned a few months ago in Christchurch. Nevertheless by the end of an hour both of us had learned a very important lesson - how to STOP. We were also able to ride on our heel edge, which we're reliably informed is a good thing. The great thing is that you can walk straight off the snow and into a huge shopping mall in shorts and a T-shirt. So we hit the shops. This has to be the only place in the UAE where you can buy a woolly hat and gloves. We must have had a good workout though, as we spent the next two days walking around like C3P0.

We found out that there were 3 English merchants of mirth from London's Comedy Store circuit doing a mini tour of Dubai and Abu Dhabi, so we went along for the show. You may have heard of Jim Tavere, the bald guy with the cello? He was hilarious as ever, as was Paul Chowdhry an Indian chap from England. Both Paul and Imogen were probably laughing the loudest as his observations of his fellow countrymen was fresh in their minds. And the beer was cheap, which always makes for a good night!

The next day Paul received some awful news. The Dubai motorshow, which occurs only once every two years, was opening the very next day. And it was at the Dubai Exhibition Centre which unfortunately is next door to Iain's apartment. But worst of all, a day ticket cost all of £3. Reluctantly he managed to drag himself along with a man-sized box of Kleenex and had a splendid time. We won't bore you with the photos he took, but if you would like to see, follow this link to where they are posted on Facebook.

Another week had passed and it was time to take John and Pauline up on their invitation to eat dead cow. Here's a quick geography lesson to explain how the United Arab Emirates (UAE) works. Seven Emirates form the UAE, an Emirate being a territory ruled by an emir or independent chieftain. Abu Dhabi is the biggest, with Dubai second largest. The others are Ajman, Fujairah, Sharjah, Umm Al Qaiwain and Ras Al Khaimah. John and Pauline live in Umm Al Qaiwain which is about 60km from Dubai, in a beautiful villa. The barbeque was already warm and the beers were cold when we arrived, and true to his word John had acquired quite literally 'a slab of cow' which he'd nicknamed Bessie. And the gauntlet was thrown down for Paul to eat all of her, she was certainly far bigger than 12oz. Incredibly Paul managed it, although he didn't eat for about 24 hours afterwards. Thank the Lord his downstairs department was back to normal...

The late night games of 'Drinking Snakes & Ladders' meant that Sat morning started slowly. John took us out in his 4x4 across the sand for a tour of the mangroves in the middle of the desert which are a haven for storks, herons and other birdlife as well as camels and many types of plants. Sadly this will all soon make way for a huge 8,500 home development, such is the way things work in the UAE. This is the thing about Dubai in particular, it'll be great when it's all finished, but you get a bit sick of the constant change, construction and diversion as new stuff gets built. On the drive back, there was early indication that we were approaching Dubai as the Burg Dubai cut through the horizon - this is already the tallest building in the world and it's nowhere near finished yet. If you visit Dubai 6 months from now, there'll be literally 10's of skyscrapers we won't have seen. Such is the rate of construction here at the moment.
As if we hadn't eaten enough food already, Iain took us to a very nice restaurant on the banks of the Creek at the Yacht Club called 'The Boardwalk'. Here we enjoyed the finest fish and chips, remaining consistent with our plan to eat as the locals do. After the gastronomic onslaught of the previous 24 hours it was all we could do to waddle home and watch a DVD whilst nursing our straining guts. Next morning we were down the gym!

As previously mentioned Sunday is a normal day of work in Dubai, so whilst Iain was at work we went about our daily business of shopping at the Deira City Centre mall, being the penniless backpackers that we are. That evening we headed on to the pyramid at Wafi City mall for a night at the cinema. But in true Dubai style, this is no ordinary cinema - it's open-air! On the roof they've erected a huge screen and surround sound, with an enormous deck covered in M&M branded beanbags. We watched Clint Eastwood's rather depressing but award-winning film "Million Dollar Baby" whilst drinking beer, eating popcorn and staring up at the stars. We want to open something similar in England but Global Warming needs to move on a notch before the British climate is suitable!

You may have gathered that we enjoyed our Dubai snowboarding trip, so we decided to go again and have another lesson (we needed it!). We progressed to practicing the toe-edge and some 'falling leaf' action, as opposed to just falling which we had done previously. Paul got a bit more cocky and soon enough had his first proper 'wipe-out'. And it was a mutha of one! He managed to rotate through 180 degrees with his board passing completely over him, pivoting on his head (thank God he landed on something he couldn't damage!). Indeed his head gouged a hole out of the snow which was so long and deep that a fellow pupil later fell into the hole and came off her board!! Despite this major lesson in not being ready for the proper slopes yet, we soldiered on and we're awarded a pass for 'the big slope' on our next visit. Which will sadly have to be next time we're there.
Click here to see Imogen snowboarding
Click here for Paul's snowboard efforts (sadly not the crash)
In the evening Iain joined us for yet another traditional Swiss fondue in Dubai. We can't get enough of them!

We were now entering the last couple of days of our whole trip and decided to go out for a final 'big night out'. It started at the first bar we found with a happy-hour, which turned out to be Thai. After several cocktails and some Stella (ouch) we moved on to a lively sports pub so Paul could watch the decisive England Euro 2008 qualifier whilst Imogen rambled on about lip-gloss. Paul did realise this and kept placating her by nodding regularly and saying "yes dear" at appropriate times. Quite frankly the lip-gloss conversation ended up being far better than the game! In true English style we then commiserated by going to the nightclub downstairs to drink/dance our cares away. We bumped into the comedians we'd seen the other night and informed them of the football result. After an attempt at stimulating conversation (Paul thought he was far funnier than them, as always!), we soon realised we were in no fit state for anything other than 'big fish, small fish, cardboard box'. They'll be talking about us in Dubai nightclubs for years...

After 'Recovery Thursday' Iain treated us to champagne brunch at Le Meridien hotel for the final full day of our whole 6 months. This 'all you can eat' buffet also serves all the Bollinger you can drink and as a result happens to be the biggest outlet for Bolly champagne in the World. The food was sublime, with an a la carte menu as well as a buffet. We enjoyed eggs benedict, lamb shank, smoked salmon, oysters - you name it, it was there. We reckon that in that 3 hours we probably sank about 6 bottles of Bolly between us, this was evident when we stood on our chairs singing into salt and pepper pots and encouraged our fellow diners to join in. Whilst Imogen was topping up her plate she happened to notice her Dad passing the chocolate dessert stand attached to the end of a conga line with a random hen-do. The following few hours are something of a mystery to Iain and Paul, but Imogen could take her champers, and met up with her friend Simon for a few more drinks. All we know is that as we packed our belongings into our rucksacks for the final time EVER, we'd acquired a full complement of chef's hats?!

Iain took us to the airport for our final flight and we said a regretful goodbye to Iain, Dubai and our life 'on the road'.

Can you believe BA served chicken bloody curry on the flight home?!!?

Little did we know what awaited us back in Blighty... we'd like to thank everyone who welcomed us back at the surprise party held at The Sands - it was quite overwhelming and a great way to finish our trip of a lifetime!

---

Photos

The skyline of Dubai
Expected completion date: 2113

Comments

[Laura]

Sad its over
Boo! No more blogs to read! Looks like you two had a fab time and I am sure you are both overjoyed to be back in the UK. I have thoroghly enjoyed reading about your adventures but will be glad when Carrie gets her hands on Pauls hair!!!!! Your not a nomad any more! x

[Rufous]

So when's Bimb planning to reform the Spin Doctors?