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Published: August 28th 2007
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I've spent months reading a number of desperately sad stories of children shutting down after handover. This is completely understandable, given that the children are being taken away from the only environment they have known their whole lives by complete strangers. An American mother told me over our first breakfast at the hotel that one of the babies in her batch screamed for 72 straight hours (her parents were only released from the sanatorium yesterday).
And then I met Maya... She is just an incredibly happy baby. She laughs at the drop of a hat (and is fantastically ticklish), spends hours investigating her surroundings and adores being held. She only cries for very specific reasons, such as being hungry, a wet nappy or if I leave the room. With respect to the last one, I’m hoping that this is a sign that bonding has already begun. I was fully prepared for a very restless night after handover, but Maya slept without a peep from 9:30pm to 7:00am. I’m not naive enough to believe that we won’t have a number of attachment issues to deal with together in the future, but we have begun bonding in a way that I daren’t
have dreamt possible only two days ago.
As for Handover Day itself, I had been warned by some very experienced adoptive parents about it. Still, I never lost hope that it would be a solemn, majestic, carefully planned and executed affair, full of pomp and ceremony. But Holy Pandemonium, Batman! It was as crazy as a sackful of ferrets.
We were ushered into a small room, which exuded about as much warmth as a One Nation Party fundraiser, and were advised of the order in which we would be receiving our children. As Maya is the only child from a different orphanage to the other girls, I was to meet her last. So, I settled myself into a chair and began completing the encyclopaedic stack of paperwork for the "Harmonious Agreement" (a guardianship contract which lasts 24 hours until the formal adoption occurs).
Just then, a group of 15 American couples were ushered into the room, which soon resembled the 7:32am Pakenham train at Richmond Station. Suddenly, my arm was grasped and I was forced through the throng, while a person spoke to me urgently in Cantonese. I turned frantically to my guide, Vanessa, who shrugged her
shoulders and muttered resignedly that the order had been arbitrarily changed by the bureaucrats in charge and now I was to be first. Without any further ado, a familiar-looking baby was thrust into my arms, the entire assembly applauded and I was officially a mum. Next!
(The other babies of my batchmates are all lovely children, but they had endured a 7-hour bus ride from their orphanage to the adoption office and looked to have been sedated for the trip. They were very quiet and reserved - some seemed to have shut down. However, I’m happy to report that at least a few of them were much more animated at today’s Adoption Day meeting. I have posted some photos.)
Our guide then took me into an even smaller room and I signed the paperwork, handed over the donation for the orphanage and all the presents, including the cleft palate bottles (yes, my luggage had arrived just in time!) and I was able to ask the Director of the orphanage, who had personally come to Guangzhou to deliver Maya, all about her routines, feeding requirements, sleeping preferences, the lot. I was amazed that he knew all about her. Apparently,
Yang Dong orphanage is relatively small (50 children), and looking at Maya, I’m guessing that the children are well cared for by the staff. I also had a strong sense that the Director and the carers who travelled with him really liked Maya. They played with her and seemed genuinely sad to leave her. After they left, I discovered that they had given me a bag which included the disposable camera I had sent to the orphanage several weeks ago in Maya’s care package. Maya’s carers at the orphanage had taken pictures of her during the last weeks before handover. I can’t wait to develop them. The orphanage had also left me a very sweet gift of a snow globe containing a dog (Maya was born in the Year of the Dog) and a lovely card, in which the Director wished Maya and I every happiness in life together and encouraged me to stay in contact with the orphanage to provide them with regular updates of her progress, which I absolutely will.
As for Maya's name, there's a little handover story attached to it. On the day I left for China, I made copies of the adoption papers and
took them to the Flinders Lane Police Station for certification. The young officer at the front desk took one look at Maya’s passport photo and exclaimed loudly: "This is the squarest-headed baby I've ever seen!" He then proceeded to call over all his colleagues to check out this freak of nature. He nudged one of them and snidely asked him whether he was the father because - wait for it! - his colleague was Asian. I did look for the Candid Camera in the ceiling, to no avail. I only refrained from punching him in the goolies, because it would have meant that I would have missed my plane to China. On Handover Day during the bus trip to the adoption office, our guide translated all the babies’ names and Maya’s middle name, Fang, in Cantonese means ‘square’…
Finally, it would be completely remiss of me not to mention the absolutely fabulous support Katrena and Nicky have given me over the last few days. Nicky has been amazing, organising paperwork and money, filling in my forms when my hands have been full with Maya, constantly reassuring me and keeping Maya happy with her funny games. Katrena has been fantastic
in providing a learner mother with invaluable advice and heaps of hands-on support. I suspected it before we left, but now I know for sure that I couldn’t have done this without them. Maya and I want to thank you with all our hearts, Katrena and Nicky, the best aunties in the whole world.
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Bria
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She looks so animated and happy. I'm so pleased for you. I can't wait to meet her!