Advertisement
Ok. So since Cam and I are engaged to get married I've decided to drop the idea of not talking about him on this blog. It's impossible. I live with the man, almost every cultural issue I have is with the man or his friends, he's my life. If you don't want me to talk about my life then I can not talk about him, otherwise it's not going to work.
Anyways, a lot's been going on over here recently. Today is the 10th anniversary of China getting Hong Kong back from England so last night at midnight we watched the changing of the flags with the English national anthem playing as the English and Hong Kong flag went down together and the Chinese national anthem playing as they went up. A bunch of people talked about how China wants Hong Kong to stay as it is now - a window from China to the rest of the world. It's important for them to have their freedom so that China can have this window. There were even people on BBC talking about how the Hong Kong people are not happy with the government now, they feel the Hong Kong and Chinese government are preventing them from achieving democracy. Some people were really upset about losing England and it leaving them in the state they are in now with no democracy. Cam told me "what do you mean they don't have democracy? They have the freedom of speech. They can say things there that we could never say here. I remember back in 2002 when they said a lot of things on the Hong Kong channel that China couldn't say. They took those sections off the TV in China but it didn't matter because people from Hong Kong just told us." I tried to explain to Cam that it wasn't just the freedom of speech that the Hong Kong people wanted but I'm not sure how much he understood that.
We stayed up super late last night talking. He got mad at me because i was reading too much into what he was saying. He told me a story about how one should hold oneself and one's family efore one's government and care about oneself before one's government. How one should love one's family, treat one's friends with respect and be patriotic to one's country. I thought he was trying to say that I didn't care about my family or the US so I got a bit upset. Then he told me that I could make more Chinese friends here if I could accept things that they're saying without arguing with them so much, let them say whatever they want to say and not argue with them. Even if they say they love or hate the US just let them say it. You don't need to teach them anything. I thought he was saying that I didn't have any friends here so that also upset me. When I got upset he practically shook me and told me "if I thought that way why would I be with you? The words I say are just things for you to think about and not what you have to do. I want to teach you our culture whether you already do it or not is your matter." I told him "DOn't get so angry at me, I was just thinking" and he said "I get angry at you because I love you. If I didn't love you why would I get angry at you. I get angry because what you think is important to me. If you were a stranger or someone I didn't know very well then there would be no reason for me to get angry with you. That's why we're not lovers, we're in a husband-wife relaitonship. Lovers don't fight, they just have sex, are always happy with each other and leave each other really quickly. But that's not us." He also explained to me why I shouldn't be so jealous of him. "It's good to love me but if you hold me too close I don't want to be around. Just let me go, I'm not going to run away. I may say that I want to find another girlfriend but if I actually did look for one I would be betraying you and I'm not going to do that. There's a reason why I chose you and not the other girls that you are jealous of at times. I don't like Dalian women. I chose you because you're different. We have some things in common - we both can eat spicy food! There are other things that are different, you like to think a lot and I don't. They go hand in hand. All those things are important." "I get jealous of them because they have something I don't have - a language and culture the same as you." "You're not listening to me. .... No matter what you always need to remember that I care about you. That's all that is important." "What happens when we go to the US and everyone around you is different, not just me?" "It doesn't matter where we are. Do they all love me as much as you do?"
It's interesting to me sometimes that he wants to teach me things but he doesn't seem to want to learn things from me sometimes. Either that or he already knows them and doesn't want to hear them again. Last night I tried to explain to him that in class a lot of times the students all agree on something but the teacher doesn't and one of the students has to understand it and tell the other students in order for everyone to understand. He said that that would happen a lot. I gave him an example of myself asking the speaking teacher where the Dalai Lama is. She said "In Tibet of course." And I was like "um, right, what??" She said that there was a new Chinese Dalai Lama in Tibet now. The students were all thinking to ourselves "um, right, sure there is." Then I understood that the Chinese government had found someone to take the position of a Dalai Lama but that it was obviously not the real Dalai Lama and never would be. I had to secretly explain it to the other students and then everyone understood. Cam said "yeah, she's right. There is a Dalai Lama in Tibet now." I didn't say anything and he said "you all mean the old Dalai Lama. He's in America now, right?" I said "I don't know where he is right at this moment, he travels a lot. Last time I was in Japan he was there." Cam explained to me that politics wasn't important to him, fashion is all that is important and fashion is more international.
On another note my college roommate Susannah Smalley is getting married. I feel homesick and upset that I can't be with her in the US for it. I always thought I would be able to go home for it but that's not going to happen with me all the way over here. My friend sent me some pictures of the bridal shower and it made me miss everyone over there. Sometimes it hits me how much I'm missing about what's going on over there. I love everyone!
Advertisement
Tot: 0.2s; Tpl: 0.021s; cc: 6; qc: 43; dbt: 0.1303s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.1mb
Mandy
non-member comment
A few words.
DANG!!! You remembered a LOT of that conversation. I know I'm not around much but I really like thinking deeply about stuff. I jus remember you saying that Cam said you like to think alot and he doesn't. If you ever want to think with me I love doing that and really don't have many people to talk about deep stuff about. I know it seems silly but sometimes I just like sitting around thinking.. why's this and why's that... why's the sky blue.. but it's really not blue it's clear... yadda yadda. P.S. Are the pictures easily accessible? I want to see the bridal pictures. How much does one give for a wedding present anyway? I've heard the extreme.... from 30 to thousands...