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What to say and where to start, my time is almost at its end here in taiwan. I have so many emotions running through my heart and mind. There are good and bad feelings, and Im not sure how to describe them.
Let me start by saying I am truly sad to be leaving this country and all the people I have met and become friends with. Each person has touched my life and made an incredible impact whether they know it or not. I am so grateful and blessed to have this chance to live and work in Taiwan. There have been many ups and downs, days where I cried my eyes out because I was upset and sad and days I have laughed so hard I cried. I have so many fantasic memories of the past 11 months. I cant beleive how fast it has gone. When I left the States I wasnt sure I could make it, but then I had no idea what to expect. But I have survived total cultural immersion and I am not returning home the same person I was when I left. I have turly learned who I am, and while
I many not know where I am headed next, I am sure it will be something that I will love and enjoy completely. Isnt that what life is about? Finding out who you are, being happy about it, choosing what YOU want to do and not what someone else picks for you. Follow your instincts and intuition, I promise they wont lead you astray. Take a chance, a risk and you will be pleased to discover and experience the outcome.
I am sad to leave my solitude. Although I complain about it sometimes and I wish I had more people close to me, but I has been one of the best things to happen to me. I have so much time to think and reflect on my life in Taiwan and my life before Taiwan. All the things that got me to this point and all the people that had an impact along the way. Who would have thought I would be here, 15 years ago or even 2 years ago? All my life I had a plan, goals, and direction. During college I applied these same things to my future, thinking, ok I will graduate get a teaching job some where close to home, then find some guy, get married and have a family. I was just following a trend I had grown up seeing so many other people do. Why did I feel this should be my future? Maybe I was afraid of the unknown. Today as I sit here typing I know that life I described is not the one for me. I like the adventure and the unknown and it is now my goal to experience everything this life and world has to offer, and well if someone wants to join me on my journey then so be it, but I am not going sit around waiting for it.
I am sad to leave my students. They treat me like a celebrity, they always greet me respectfully in the halls and outside of school. They scream and shout my name and talk about me all the time. I am the talk of the school and well...I love it. They say the funniest things and even with a language barrier we understand each other and a smile works wonders. The students have become comfortable with me and even kids who speak only a few words of English will say hello and hang around me. I have been testing out my Chinese with the kids and they get the biggest thrill out of it. They try to teach me all the time, but sometimes I am pretty sure they are making me say bad things. It has come to the point that one class likes me to high five them when I walk in for class every day. This particular class is full of boys who claim to "HATE" girls but they line up to high five me. I did explain to them I was a girl and technically they should hate me too, but they said "No you are teacher, we cant hate you!" Also on a daily basis I recieve gifts of candy, toys, drinks, and cards. There are always gifts from students. They also tell me on a daily basis that I am beautiful. I ask myself why would I give this up. Even on my very ugly days, kids will say I am beautiful. Another one of my favorite interactions with my students are the questions that always lead to them asking me if I have a boyfriend. This is another everyday occurance. After I say no, then comes the, "why not? Teacher you are so beautiful, why no boys like you?" I always say good question I will be sure to let you know when I figure it out some day. Everyday is filled with laughs and fun. I wish I could bring some of these kids home. This has been a GREAT experience!!! I can go on and on.....
.......to be continued
During my last 5 weeks here I will be blogging alot to share my final thoughts and feelings about the past year. I want to be sure to remember all that has happened, what I will miss, and what I am excited to go home to.
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Aunt Linda
non-member comment
Moving in fast forward Part Forever
Dear Rachel, I loved your comments about not sitting around waiting for things to happen in your life. That is a wonderful life lesson. I also think that you have become someone who makes things happen in your own life, good, bad, ugly...doesn't matter...when things are moving, they are not stagnant. Life in the stagnant lane is deadly. Although most of your life, people will not be lining up to tell you that you are beautiful, you can still conjure those little voices whenever you need to hear them. Life is really not about being happy all the time either, or else you run the risk of not truly growing and maturing. But seeking joy and fulfillment is a good thing. You have had an incredible year and I can't wait to talk with the "new you". I have just a few words for you to keep in your heart. First: Remember your roots! And last: NEVER SETTLE!!! All my love, Aunt Linda