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Published: August 7th 2007
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Happy Boat
It is mandatory for any tourist on a Thai beach to attempt a version of this shot. Its four months now that we've been travelling - a whole third of a year. The past 3 weeks we've been taking a holiday from our holiday before we choof off to Europe. We've spent almost every single day of it lying on a beach reading, and every day we wake up and grin about the fact that we're still not bored, still enjoying doing absolutely nothing and that the biggest problem facing us is how to get on and off a lilo, and dodging falling coconuts.
That, and avoiding SNAKES! Some background first. For most of India, definitely Vietnam (they had signs warning about King Cobras in their parks..) and throughout Thailand I've been driving Xavier up the wall with my fear of snakes. This means talking about them incessantly whenever we're in possible snake territory, springing away frightened from snake shaped sticks on the road, and appraising every potential hotel room for snake proofness.
So on Koh Chang, an island off Thailand near Cambodia, when we found a gorgeous jungle clinging wooden bungalow looking over the sea, I went through the usual routine, which was, quite frankly, wearing a little thin by then. Telling Xavier that it
Sarah in Koh Phangan
There is NOTHING eccentric about looking after your skin... OK? might not be the most spiffing place to stay at if we DIDN'T want to see a snake was met with 'Oh Sarah don't be silly, there aren't any snakes here.' So I suffered in silence.
What was to come was one of the best opportunities I have had EVER for 'I told you so' glee... however unfortunately this victory was completely, and I mean COMPLETELY overshadowed by my shock and hysteria at the time. Here's what happened...
Picture this - I'm hot, happy and nicely satisfied with a pina colada and half a dozen prawns in me. We go back to our bungalow that night and I wander into the bathroom to commence cleaning my teeth. Then, I lazily browsed the walls for snakes... and to my surprise there, coiled up in the gap between the wall and roof, lay a bright green one, pushing 1 metre in length probably. As Xavier cheerily came into the bathroom to start his dental hygiene regimen (he loves cleaning his teeth), I simultaneously backed out, trying with all my might to clearly annunciate the word 'snake!' with my mouthful of toothpaste - just like a dream where you're desperately trying
to scream yet nothing comes out. Yeah.
Finally Xavier gets it. We creep away and stand on our bungalow porch wondering, amid my numerous mini breakdowns, what the dickens to do. Xavier galantly packed up our stuff in the room, and I made my way shakily down the path to reception, where I quietly told the Scottish woman that we wouldn't be staying there that night, (but would pay for it anyway) as there was a snake in our bathroom. This woman though, she was I have to say, a little bit passive aggressive. Telling me that 'oh we can remove it for you silly!', and 'Yes people occasionally find snakes in their bungalows here, but actually, unlike you, they get over it and don't need to leave'. She muttered something about having a masters in pyschology (she must have skipped the lecture on empathy, and majored in tough love) and said that the snake was definitely harmless.
Anyway it was obvious that I was too far gone beside myself to be listening to her natter about how silly and pathetic I was being...by the way, in front of half a dozen backpackers, who to my horror, asked
to go up and see the snake for themselves. I waved them away with a withering look and glumly withstood the constant lecturing while waiting for Xavier to come back.
Then, a 'long termer' came back down after seeing the snake, declared he was a snake enthusiast, and said, yes, it WAS venomous, it was just one of the ones that would take a little longer to kill you, as opposed to instantly - a minor victory over the Scottish M. Psych. She still hadn't shut up, so we checked out, paid for the night in full, and backed away saying, yes, yes, no it's completely MY problem, I just have a THING about snakes. Which, incidently, I do... but thats beside the point, surely, isn't it???
So that was that, and apart from seeing a completely harmless giant sea moniter lizard on the rocks at Ko Phangan (a cross between a lizard and a bull terrier) and numerous multicoloured lizards, there have been no more snakes. But I'm still giving every bathroom a good 6 circuits with my eyes to ensure this.
A quick p.s on India... I have to say the most ridiculous hypocrisy I've
heard of is that of there being a warrant out for Richard Gere's arrest after he was shown on tv kissing a Bolliwood movie star at a public event. This was deemed a 'vulgar display' which was 'totally offensive' and against the law. I'M sorry but IS this the same country where I had to sidle past three men at once pissing in the alleyway that our guesthouse was at the end of?
On Wednesday we leave for Berlin - hey... no more Asian Pop!
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alex
non-member comment
hey guys
heya, have really enjoyed all ur blogs and great photos. seems like uv been away for so long now. what an awesome experience!