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Published: March 27th 2007
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After exiting the mud volcano
It´s a shame I don´t have any pictures while I´m in it. A freaking jellyfish stung me on Sunday. It’s feels kind of like getting stung by a bee. Except underwater, and you don’t have that satisfying knowledge that it cost the bee his life to sting you. You know what Latin America has a lot of? No, not low wage laborers. Okay, some of those too. Trash. It really shocked me how much trash is everywhere when I first arrived. I try not to litter but I’ve gotten to know some trash pretty well in marathon searches for a trashcan. It still hasn’t rained. The last time I remember it raining was when Adam was here, right after Halloween. I think sex offenders should be forced to grow mustaches. If they break their parole, or relocate without notifying the authorities they get a mustache tattooed on. That way you wouldn’t need to check the sex offender in your neighborhood list every time a new person moved in, it’d just be “He’s a registered sex offender, he’s got a ‘stache. 8 year olds dude.” It has the added benefit of getting everyone to cut off their mustaches unless they wish to be misidentified as sex offenders (but seriously if they have a
Cartegena
From the Castle de San Felipe mustache, they probably just haven’t been caught yet). I’d like the Royals to have an all-star player this year other than the mandatory one player from each team pick. Did Mel Gibson make Apocalypto or whatever it’s called to show us that the Mayans sucked it and deserved to be wiped out? I thought that already. Last couple of weekends: This weekend that just ended I took it easy for the most part. I went to a 4th grade birthday party on Friday. Crashed it I should say, since I wasn’t invited. You can see how cool I am. Saturday I got all hopped up on Juan Valdez wares and played tennis. Sunday, I took an ill-advised four-hour ocean kayak trip. It’s farther than I ever been but I failed to adequately cover myself in gringo lotion (sun block). Some people like to think when you get sunburned your skin is feels hot because the sun is trapped inside. I like to think it’s the heat caused by my cells mutating. Even after so long living in the cracker searing near equatorial sun I still associate the smell of sunscreen with skiing. The weekend before last I went to Cartegena
to celebrate some Catholic holiday, no one seemed to know why but we got a three-day weekend. It was nice, I saw a castle, went to a mountain top nunnery, spent some time on an island a few hours off shore, and on the way home stopped by a mud volcano.* President Bush was here too, I was a little surprised he didn’t call me while he was here, nice job staying in touch with the people. I was on board with everything he’s done until this. I saw an episode of the Simpsons that is relevant only because I used a line from it as the title to an old blog. The translation they gave is “Todo esta saliendo Millhouse.” Which it is. Friday begins Semana Santa (Holy Week) which leads up to Easter Sunday and serves as a spring break for the Colombian masses. I’m off to the coffee region, Medellin, a quick stop in Bogota again, and planning to work on my thesis. I’m kidding about the last one of course. Al recently sent me an article about the Colombian government going after some of the top dogs of Chiquita banana because they were paying both rebels
and paramilitary groups to defend their plantations. I’d like to apologize on behalf of the Colombian government for thinking Americans could be held responsible for supporting drug-running mercenaries. Rather silly of them. On a lighter note, a Colombian production company purchased the rights and scripts of Who’s the Boss, but rather than dubbing and playing the reruns (like the awesome A-Team), they chose to recast and refilm the entire series, using the exact same scripts, in Spanish, with Colombian actors. It’s the worst TV I’ve ever seen. Plus no one thinks 80’s American comedy is funny down here, something about it having no relation to their own lives. While most of the NCAA tournament has been supplanted by more important shows such as bowling, ping pong, and the 1991 strong man competition rerun, I did see half of the KU, Kentucky game. When someone makes a three-pointer, the announcer always yells “Ocho dollares de taxi!” Which I would guess indicates that he’s so far from the rim that a taxi would charge him 8 dollars to get there. In Cartegena I stayed in some bargain basement housing, which had some free alarm ants that woke you up at the predetermined
time. Or whenever they felt like biting you.
Music comment of the week: If you’ve missed out on Mark Kozelek in his many incarnations (solo, Red House Painters, Sun Kill Moon) you’ve steered clear of an amazing musician.
Movie of the week: The Labyrinth and the Faun is amazing. The make up and effects are some of the best I’ve seen, it’s like an adult fairy tale set in Spain during World War II. It is unfortunately in Spanish, but hopefully the movie industry can find someone in L.A. who speaks Spanish to translate and subtitle it.
Book of the week: Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez. The DAS** office is making me read it to stay in the country.
Random Presidential fact of the week:John Quincy Adams was the first president to wear long pants instead of knee-breeches.
That’s my way,
anyway,
anyway.
~Tyrone
“No man can say that the Constitution was framed by innocent men. They were - and I knew most of them - as able a group of lawyers as ever argued a client from his rightful place on the gallows. ~Burr, Gore Vidal.
I wish I would
Perfect combo
Because when you buy grape soda, the only the thing that really goes well, is some free canned tuna. have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway. ~Jack Handy
*The term mud volcano or mud dome is used to refer to formations created by geologically excreted liquids and gases, although there are several different processes which may cause such activity. Temperatures are much cooler than igneous processes. The largest structures are 10 km in diameter and reach 700 metres in height.
** Departamento Administrativo de Seguridad (They give visas and such).
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Stephie G
non-member comment
That's the best combo I've seen since the free beer with the quart of rum (even though I'm sure the tuna is worth more than the soda whereas the beer was only about 30 cents)!