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Published: March 21st 2007
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After nearly one year, several lifetimes, jungle adventures, living with Shipibos near Pucallpa, buying a small piece of land and living on a yucca and banana farm,...and drinking about 1 gallon of ayahuasca over a period of 10 months, I am going back to America. I would like to share my experience with those of you who happen upon this blog.... to perhaps awaken you to the hidden power both you and I share. I understand that each reader is coming from within a different world, with a different version of reality, as we each create our reality based on our individual choices, decisions, and beliefs. Having everyone fully understand what I am going to write is my challenge. Perhaps this is where language fails us. Language is based on our interpretations, and are not always an exact match with the original intention of a message. If you, the reader, are still with me after all of that, then you will most likely follow what I am about to share with you......If the following seems to be written in a different language, it could be because the reader has been left out of important dialogue about life and existence because of a cultural black hole on the subject.
In 1995 I signed up for a 4 yr contract with the US Marines. After getting out of the military in 1999 and several unsatisfying jobs, I felt I should drop everything and travel around France and Spain to try and find myself. The year was 2001. After hiking a few hundred miles across northern Spain, I came to a realization: I was an Artist. I came back to the US then moved to Portland Oregon where I discovered my inner feelings, emotions, and voice, while experimenting with various creative media. While flowing within my souls callings...everything unfolded like magic and soon I was a self supporting artist, I was my own Boss. I lived alone most of the time and painted non-stop for 3 years. It was near the end of these 3 years and thousands of hours THINKING and FEELING alone, that I was led to Peru on a more detailed search for my SELF.
In order to allow the experience to unfold freely, I felt it was necessary to sell everything I owned and disconnect from the American World that was my reality, and people I knew. I needed to cut all strings that held me back from being free. The hardest part was letting go of a long term relationship with a kindred spirit named Irma. While in Peru, time and time again I was led to people, places, and experiences that taught me exactly what I needed to know, when I needed to know it. As I questioned, I knew I would find answers. I would not be left here alone in the universe and world, unable to figure out why I am here and what it is, exactly, that I am. As my understandings expanded through divine encounters with plants, peoples, dimensions, and places, I began to find and uncover the TRUTH hidden within me.
TRUTH, as I have experienced it, is universal, at an energetic level. TRUTH has always been and will ever be. Same as Energy, same as GOD, same as Creator. TRUTH is the Guiding Principle of everything that is. I came to see that TRUTH has a certain resonance that can be felt; it has a vibration. If I never began to FEEL, and never began to QUESTION, I would have never found answers...and I would not have understood what TRUTH is. The challenge facing western culture is: How to get out of "The Cycle" when the "Cycle" (or western system) continues to cut off, numb, and eliminate our feelings and feeling centers located within our beings. If we do not feel, we do not act. If I didn’t begin to feel how unsatisfying my office job was, I would still be miserable, unhappy, and my Spirit would be suffering because I was not listening to it. A common issue is that we have learned to "Settle for Less" in LIFE.....which if you stop and think about it, isn't Life at all.
Each person has an inner guide that changes from feeling good, to feeling bad. If that guide is shut off and ignored, harmful patterns and habitual self-destructive behaviors do not get the needed attention, the negative feelings continue to eat away at the SELF, and life is not what it was intended to be. Just look at nature and the perfection that exists within all levels of nature. There is no struggle, no challenges, and no stress. The system is Perfect. Yes, there is Life and Death but that is only one interpretation of what is really happening...It is really Life and Death as ONE PERFECT SYSTEM, balanced on every level. This is what is waiting for each HUMAN when she chooses to explore his feelings and discover, AND FOLLOW, the inner workings of SELF. I began by looking at how I was Feeling. Then, exploring why I was Feeling the way I was Feeling. This led me to further questioning of reality, of self, of my interior workings, and of my origin.
Thank you Peru...It has been a Truly Magical and Wondrous Experience!
I don’t have any more questions now and this is why it is time to return to America. ALL OF MY QUESTIONS HAVE FOUND ANSWERS.
I create my Reality, therefore I create my World, and Universe.
If I see Problems in society, at home, at work, with the System...then it is because they exist within MySelf.
The Real SELF is Creation, Energy, Everything that is and Everything that will be.
Inside me exists this EVERYTHING.
This EVERYTHING is what I really am.
It is from my choice of thought that directs and creates my world.
It is from my beliefs and interpretations that I create my future.
I have the power to choose FEELING and TRUTH over false beliefs, lies, suffering, and pain.
You Have this POWER as well.
Thank you for joining me on my journey into the ONE SELF.
I am looking forward to getting back into painting and creating from a place of intention, bliss, and perfection.
Blessings For A New World Created By Informed Thought
love joel (it is now time to LIVE what I know to be TRUTH...I am half way there......)
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j
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dam........ thats all i got to say.