Fears and Dreams

Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living. - Anais Nin


We all have dreams, but all too often we let our fears get in the way of them. Some people are just contented enough to dream and let them remain as such, others all too often let dreams become their master. Either way we all let the noise of life deafen us from what we really want and need. Finding that balance is hard enough, let alone a harmonious one. For ten long years I have dreamt of this. Coutless conversations of dreaming to return to this great continent. Plans with close friends to come with. The noise of life getting in the way for too long, or maybe, just the right time to allow everything before and that which lies ahead. This moment in my life, this time of my life, when I live the actuality of my dream, and promise, to return to this continent, I have never felt so happy, so content with life. I am the lucky one.


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Arriving in Nasca was exciting, out of the city and into the country to see something I had been wanting to see for more than ten years. I booked onto seeing the lines straight away and was due to take off the next morning with a group of other brits from the hostel. Pick up was a 7am and we all eagerly nattered away on the way to the airstrip. e got split up at the airport so I did my best to be firm in spannish and say there are 5 seats in the plane and we will be flying together. Eventually the tourist opperator backed down and with some pride for winning my first argument in spanish, we all headed towards what I can only describe as a flash-back of a plane from the loch lomond sea plane that scared the living daylights out of me before i left the uk...


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But none of this comes without desicion and choice, which I fear we all forget that we have. At this time its easy for me to be philosophoical about life and the Journey, all this time on my hands to think about life and experiance different cultures. But let me portay a vision to you, one that you cannot run or hide from and one that comes to us all; the destination. Its easy to get caught up in everyday living but there comes points in our lives where we ask ourselfs more important questions, for what ever reasons they were triggerd. Even then, all too often we ask ourselfs the wrong questions. What is a tragedy is when it comes to the later stage in life that we start asking, questioning. Regret is an appaling waste of energy, its only purspose is to wallow in and when your older, when you reach the stage in your life, and you will, when you have worked hard and ticked all the boxes of; salary for pension, morgage for shelter, safe bets for your security...... will you look back and wallow in self pity at what you could have done and wished different? Or will you look back and in the actuality of that moment of your being, satisfied knowing that in this one chance at life, you lived it for yourself and those around you that you care for? Will you rest easy accepting the coming inevitability in the knowlegde that you lived? Or will you, fearing the unknown, wish to be able to turn back time, terrified that you are going to die. Everything in life is a choice, so say to yourself "It´s my life" and choose...


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The little minx of an aircraft set off, all 5 of us grinning like idiots and so keen to see the first of the Nasca lines. After about 5 minutes of flying and a really bad explanation in club-foot broken pigeon english from the pilot, we banked hard and were told to look out the right side window at the whale, the first line. I started snapping away only to realise i was taking photos of the wrong thing! Nice one Ian, no really... The whale was the first of some awesome sights of sharp turns left and then right for a half hour of bliss. Loved the flight and to sdee these things at long last was increadible. There is still little known about the lines. Yhey were only discovered in the late 30's properly from the air and there are many theories as to their significance and meaning. No one really knows much about them, or their neighbours, the Palpa lines.


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OK, so maybe all this comes accross as a little dramatic, fair enough, and, easy enough for the guy who's on a high for living out a ten year promise and still in the honey-moon period of it. But the simple truth is that none of us will be able to escape the inevitibility of our own death, and it is so important to actually live before that time comes and I pray that we all make the choice to do so. It is a beautiful thing to live only once, we are all born of this life and is our duty to realise this and be worthy of it. Not wanting to preach, but just portray, it is what ultimatly makes us happy that we must follow. If nine to five behind a desk does so for you then who am I to tell you other wise? Personally, I feel that we should challenge ourselvs, push ourselvs to better ourselvs and our surroundings, for the greater good. Every so often, take yourself out of your comfort zone, challenge yourself and see what you learn and benefit from it.


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The following day I was due to depart for Arequipa but had enough time to bump into two Irish gals who said they were off to the cemetary and there was time before my bus so I joined them. It was an eye opener, the cemetery that is, not the girls. Due to the heat and burrying techniques, so many of the graves were opend and on display were very well preserved mummies. Grave robbers had stolen and derstoyed much of the past. Belongings and treasures taken and graves ruined, but what was rescued by the Government is on display for everyone to see, some hard to stomach.


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Already I feel so different to any other time on my journey. New Zealnd was possibly the best year of my life so far. And in Mexico, realising again what it actually is to travell. But here, already, and after only a few days, I feel more alive than I remember. Lima was, as all cities appear to have become to me, a junction and pit stop. They serve a purpose, a point in time and space nesecary for transition but nothing more. Arriving here, in Nasca, having never been here before, already feels like home. This current relationship with the actuality of life is one that now having got hold of, I will do everything in my power to keep a hold of. I pray this is sustainable but only time will tell. I suppose the long and the short of what I'm trying to say here, is that, don't let your fears, get in the way of your dreams. And so, with anew lease of life and fullfillment of finally reaching South America, I head to Arequipa to check out some Canyons, Volcanoes and to try some volenteer work before tackling the great Inca trail...

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