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Published: July 23rd 2006
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Team mates
You´re never alone on the road If I wiggle in my chair as I write this, I can just feel a dull twinge from my groinal regions - a memento of the Inca Trail, South America´s most famous hike to the Inca ruins of Machu Picchu, which we completed two days ago.
The trail is absolutely awe-inspiring: a four-day, 27-mile hike climbing to over 4000 metres amid the most wonderful scenery we´ve ever witnessed. But bloody hell, is it hard work; especially if, like us, you´ve warmed up by spending four days on a boat in the Galapagos Islands filling your cakehole every two hours.
As a result, the first day - which everyone says is ´real easy´- was a rude awakening. Our eight-strong group (average age: 21, average nationality: American) cruised off into the distance while we huffed and puffed on their coat-tails. Given that the second day involved a five-hour climb up something called Dead Woman´s Pass, not to mention Adele´s recent history of knee problems, we crawled into our tent that night thinking we´d bitten off more than we could chew. Not only that, but I managed to drop our bog roll on the floor of toilets that were several rungs below
Dead Woman´s Pass
You can almost hear the gasping from here... that one out of
Trainspotting.
As it turned out, we needn´t have worried. Perhaps it was the coca tea we drank religiously (apparently a ´stimulant´so no idea whether we´ve surreptiously developed some sort of expensive habit), perhaps it was the fear of looking like a pair of decrepit old gits in front of our new friends, but from then onwards things seemed to get more straightforward. The terrain certainly became harder, but we coped better and could actually enjoy the experience, which wasn´t the case for some of the 500-odd people we were sharing the trail with.
And it was an astonishing experience: not only because the trek is studded with Inca ruins, stunning mountain ranges topped with snow and brief, spectacular bouts of ´high jungle´, but also because you are waited on hand and foot by porters who - we kid you not - RUN the trail with everything from dining tents to 20kg gas canisters on their backs, wearing only sandals on their feet. We feared for their safety and health, but they seemed pretty relaxed about the whole thing. They were simply incredible, and along with our guide Martin (top bloke) and the fantastic bunch
of people (with the exception of one godawful loon) we were paired with, made the whole thing absolutely unforgettable.
The trail culminates on the fourth day with a 4am start and two-hour walk to the Sun Gate, from where you watch the rising sun slowly illuminate the spectacular ruins of Machu Picchu. It´s an eerie, almost spiritual experience that makes you sound like a berk when you attempt to describe it (as I´m proving), but it makes all the slog of getting there melt away in an instant. And Machu Picchu itself is amazing: epic in scale and perched between spectacular, plunging mountains. Never pass up the opportunity to go there should it arise.
Completing the trail has left us both keen to do more trekking, although I´m not sure our 50 quid rucksacks are as enthusiastic as we are. But as an added bonus, Adele´s knees held up better than either of us expected: indeed, she showed a remarkable turn of pace down the ´corridor of 2000 stairs´ on the third day after we´d had a row.
With the trail finished, we spent the night soothing our aches and pains in the nearby town of Aguas
Typical scenery
We could have included any number of these Calientes which, as the name suggests, is the source of several hot springs. Visiting them is like spending two hours in a giant bath with 20 people you don´t know - much more pleasant than it sounds.
From there, it was four hours back to Cuzco on the world´s most barking train ride. No sooner we were settling down for a well-earned kip than the lights in our carriage started flashing on and off, an almighty panpipe racket struck up and the guard began dancing up and down the aisle with a sock over his head and what appeared to be a dead cat under his arm... Apparently he was performing a traditional dance for our pleasure, which was amusing and alarming in equal measure. Then, to make matters worse, the female ticket collector and bloke-in-charge-of-the-buffet-car began sashaying up and down the carriage modelling a variety of different locally made garments in what can only have been a crazed Head Office initiative to coin it in off their captive audience. Needless to say, it wasn´t very successful, and the poor sod from the buffet car - who was subjected to jeers and wolf-whistles throughout - looked as if he
Sunrise over Machu Picchu
Doesn´t do it justice really would have rather been anywhere else on the planet. Can´t see it on the 8.05 from Surbiton myself.
Once back in Cuzco, we embarked on the first Big Night Out of our travels in a club full of fellow trail veterans in varying states of disrepair, rolling in at 4am after drinking more than in the previous five weeks put together. Once the hangovers have abated, we´re heading east on an 18-hour bus ride to a town called Huacachina, where the big draw is sandboarding - like snowboarding, only down giant sand dunes. Wish us luck.
And finally, some random observations that I meant to weave seamlessly into the narrative only to run out of time and talent...
1. We have been travelling for sufficiently long now that we don´t know what day of the week it is. I cannot tell you how nice this feels.
2. Never, ever stay in the Hostal Resbalosa in Cuzco - a high-altitude Fawlty Towers with a language barrier. Manuel....!
3. Why can nobody in Peru change anything bigger than the equivalent of a fiver when the cash machines dispense nothing smaller than $50 bills?
4. Because we´re such a pair
Our train guard
´Two singles to Croydon, please´ of goons, we forget to mention last time that we met up with our friend and former colleague Richard Storrs before we left Ecuador. He is reluctantly coming to the end of a year on the road in South America and looked thinner and blonder than we remembered, albeit with the same eye for both ´the laydeez´ and Doncaster Rovers. Storrsy, if you´re reading, hope it´s a soft landing back in Blighty. And Bob, if you´re reading, a warning: he´s looking for a job.
Bye for now,
Rob (and Adele) x
PS Catchphrase(s) of the week*
*A new feature designed to amuse us and (perhaps) the one or two people reading who might have some idea what we´re on about.
No.1: ¨Frikkin´ DULCE!!! Que bueno, man!¨
No.2 "Who do you work for?"
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