12. Teacher: where are the Andes? Pupil: At the end of the armies of course.


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Published: September 22nd 2008
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Ha, ha...oh, sorry, not Christmas yet is it?
Must be the lack of oxygen up here or something.
Well I had a nice birthday meal, quite Euro really, sliced beef in red wine gravy, potato rosti, broccoli and cauli! Then a few birthday drinks and a little pressie and card from my very kind friend Tanya. Sunday was a quiet night out but we managed to pack a tiny bar and there was a group of Israelis, one of whom also had the same birthday as me..so we made a lot of noise and danced about! Slept most of the next day and watched DVD’s (I love Walllace and Grommit) in preparation for the forthcoming trek and a 6.30am start.

Huaraz
I spent 11 days eventually in Huaraz and was a sad to leave, a combination of the great food, hot sunshiney days and mountain peaks made it a real magnet. After the trek, spent a night celebrating, a day recovering and another with food poisoning before taking a trip to Chavin and leaving on the night bus to Lima.

Santa Cruz Trek
This has to be one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to! Every twist reveals a new mountain, another crystal clear mountain stream, a turquoise lake or a scruffy doe-eyed donkey!

Day 1. A 6.30 am start had us driving up to the start of the trek in a small village north of Yungay. Via Lagunas Llanganuco, famous for their serene setting and amazing colour. Apparently the clean water of melting glaciers and a type of algae produce this hypnotic colour...so inviting for a swim, yet so damn cold! After a picnic lunch, the donkeys were loaded up and we were off into the sierra. Just a few hours walk today to get used to the altitude but the cold started to bite as soon as the sun was hidden and we shivered until dinner came and then went to bed..about 7pm!

Day 2. No wonder we were cold, the ground was frosty this morning! Shivering outside, we cursed those damn mountains for being so tall and blocking the sun. Today was the mighty ascent of the Punta Union pass, and at 4750 masl it was a real lung burner! Never fear Dad, I made it and certainly wasn't the last! Got to the campsite about 4.00 which meant a well deserved rest in the sun before we had to huddle round in our sleeping bags and woolies again. What a stunning spot though..gurgling stream, snowy peaks and cloudless blue sky.

Day 3. Took a small detour this morning to view a glacier and the perfect Alpamayo mountain. This is the same mountain Paramount pictures have as their brand image. The valley has really started to change, like we are walking into another climate. Lots of yellow flowering trees, gorse, blue Lupins...and a condor! Here's a nice place for lunch said the guide...by the waterfall and river...aagh, no it's bloody not as we were attacked by huge clumsy marsh flies and Celine and I ran off to find a windy spot away from the buggers. There are a lot of animals out to pasture here and you really wouldn't believe how cute the cows are...long soft shiny hair, like a real bovine Pantene advert...wait for the pics! Oh, and the donkeys, so cute! Tanya was talking to one and busy taking photo's when he came over for a cuddle and let us stroke him! This was the last night camping, hurrah! We celebrated with some hot wine as a final treat and a funny supper of mash, guacamole and rice.

Day 4. Only two hours this morning, we were almost skipping along back to civilisation looking forward to a hot shower. But where was Jeff? Dopey Jeff had somehow missed everyone and carried on walking down the road... we caught up with him in the taxi some 20 minutes later as he was waving his walking stick about in frustration!
What is it with these walking sticks clanking along like zimmer frames and the people using them are all under 25!

Tarma
3 hours waiting for the bus in Lima was long enough, then it spent another two and half driving round Lima looking for more passengers..so irritating! This place is nick named 'the pearl of the Andes' but it's hard to see why. An authentically traditional city working on building a tourist industry, I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and signed up for a couple of tours. The first went to a few waterfalls, blah, blah and ended in a recreated Ashaninca village, where we were dressed up in the typical clothing of brown sack dresses and beaded sashes with red stripey faces
AlpamayoAlpamayoAlpamayo

Paramount pictures use this perfectly formed mountain as there logo
and made to dance! The second was to some old salt baths, an image of Jesus on a rock face made by weeds and a cave. With no regard for health and safety he had the kids and the old folk in there with torches clambering into different sections with the aid of ropes!
This area is famous for the Ponche de Maca drink. Maca is like a little turnip which they boil up with water, honey and herbs, then add milk, puffed quinoa and a raw egg to make a tepid toddy. Actually..checking t'internet, it says that it's also known as the Peruvian Viagra, no wonder there are so many kids round here!

Huancayo
Well the LP has little to say about this place but I thought I'd give it a go as I'd heard some good things. Actually I fell in love with the hostel as soon as I got here and decided to stay a bit. The casa de la Abuela is owned by a real life Peruvian granny who is slightly batty but lovely and here 2 cats, two dogs and a parrot...who all come begging for scraps at breakfast. Around this area are typical craft villages, i.e. virtually every family makes one type of craft. Such as Cochas famous for its gourd carving, you just look for a sign, knock on the door and go in, then try to resist buying everything! A week here sorted me out and banished the cold. I signed up for a traditional back-strap weaving course with two lovely indigenous ladies and am now the proud owner of four lovely Xmas presents and a bundle of string with some sticks in!

Ayacucho
A danger zone in the 80's, this place was the birth place of the Peruvian terrorist branch of the Shining Path. Funny that they tried to promote communism and equality for all by massacring everybody??
It was election day on Sunday whilst I was here. The riot police were ready and looking officious but the crowd was pretty small and sedate and eating ice-cream. Alan Garcia won, once a former president, he was deposed in 1990 after crashing the economy causing inflation to rise to 7,650 percent, and reportedly taking over $1million in bribes. Now he's back...but a slightly better choice than the opposition Ollanta, human rights abuser and military criminal.
What a lovely city though, famous for its 33 churches (all of them closed) and great craft shopping. They're famous for stone carvings, little boxed nativity and traditional scenes and ceramic churches. The churches are cemented to the roofs of houses in the region to ward of evil spirits, even churches have churches! They also have lovely colourful painted crosses used for the same purpose but alas, the man who sold these has locked up his cabinet and gone away. The town square is colonial and a great spot for people watching whilst sampling freshly made ice-cream..as in the Indian ladies are spinning nutty milk in barrels of ice right before your eyes!

Pet names...
Lately the names from market stall holders have been; Mama, mamacita, Madre...all meaning mother! Quite funny being called mother by ancient wrinkly old crones!

Gambling
It's like Blackpool with all these slot machine parlours open all night. I can imagine the typical Latino male wasting even more of his money in these places, leaving wife and children hungry at home and waiting for them.

Tourism
It's quite nice to hop on a bus tour now and again (well quite a lot lately), it's cheap, requires no thinking on my part and is the only way to get to some places. It's refreshing that gringos are the minority on these trips too and I'm normally joined by honey-mooners, old ladies or families from Lima. We had a nice sing-song on the way back from the Chachmoya valley the other day and of course, it's a great way to practice the old Spanish. What's funny is the way they love posing at every waterfall, bridge ancient monument and always as if they're in a clothing catalogue I've seen girls wear bikini's to waterfalls just for the spray shot but refuse to get in!
Always inventive, the campesino will be waiting for you at every stop point selling coca leaves or proffering a little lamb for a photo opportunity they can see my eyes widen at the fluffy white creature and I'm always a sucker for posing with llama and lambykins!

Jelly mad!
Wibble wobble, wibble wobble, jelly on a plate... they love the stuff here, you can get it on every corner, every panaderia (bakers shop) and there's always someone coming to sell it on buses. It’s mainly strawberry flavour and set in plastic cups with a little plastic spoon.

Oh, and they make great bread and cakes in Peru, and apple pasties and the empanadas here are more like Greggs pasties than the horrible deep fried variety found in other countries...mmm que rico!

Having a rest on the long dusty road to Cusco in Andahuaylas tonight...looking forward to hearing what you're all up to!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX mamacita x



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Fortunately not full of wankers!Fortunately not full of wankers!
Fortunately not full of wankers!

Park in Huancayo (pron. wank-ky-o)


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