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Published: August 7th 2007
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A couple of days ago, an English student called Neil came up to me and said "Do you like curry?"
"Do I like curry?" I said. "Do I like curry? I LOVE IT"
He then invited me to an outing of the Quito Curry Club on Friday. (Apparently a splinter group of the Santiago Curry Club and the Brisbane Curry Club). As most of you know, I organise a Curry Club in Tooting, since there are 28 curry houses within a ten minute walk of my house. So I was eager to see what an Ecuadorian-Indian curry had to offer.
At this point I would say it´s not worth reading on unless you are a fellow curry addict and are as obsessed by curry as me. You´ll probably find this quite dull. You may find it dull anyway, but I´m going to write these Curry Chronicles regardless.
So, we arrived at Bombay Palace, and initial indications were favourable. The decor was welcoming, and a projector was throwing Bollywood music videos on a wall. It was a satellite channel entitled "Golden Hits of the Punjab"
A quick scan of the menu showed all the old favourites; Korma,
Super Samosa
Modelled by Jenni from the Isle of Man. Big enough to feed a family of five for a week Rogan Josh, Jalfrezi, Tikka Massala. But wait, what was this? NO poppadoms on the menu? No chutneys? Outraged, Neil stormed off to the kitchen to find out what the hell the chef was playing at. It turns out the chef was actually Indian, and knew what poppodoms were, but just didnt´t do them.
So we gritted our teeth and got down to ordering. One strange anomaly on the menu was a nan bread. I´ve seen garlic nan, peshwari nan and keema nan but never before have I seen "pan de pollo" - CHICKEN BREAD! And for some reason my all-time favourite side dish, Sag Paneer, was missing one vital ingredient - THE CHEESE!
Not many people were up for starters, but we did order a small array of samosas. When they arrived, I have never seen the likes of them before. They were like samosas on steroids, huge tennis-ball sized monstrosities that could have choked a donkey. Tasty, but massive!
Main courses were actually quite decent. My chickedn madras was respectably hot and spicy, but the actual chicken, although plentiful, was cut into microscopic pieces that I could barely see, never mind spear on my fork.
Bitterly disappointed
Neil and myself contemplating four pints of appalling Ecuadorian bitter Prior to the ordering, Neil had scattered the four English people around table to explain Curry Etiquette to the first-timers. (There were 15 of us altogether). Unfortunately, we couldn´t convince the non-British at the table about how a curry should be done. We patiently explained that curry comes as just curry, and that rice and nan should be ordered seperately. But the German ladies at the table, "Team Germany" as we collectively called them, didn´t get it. When their curries arrived, they just tucked into them on their own, like they were a massive stew!
After the curry, Neil expressed a desire for a nice pint of bitter, since he hadn´t had one since leaving England months ago. By chance, there was an English Pub nearby. So it was Tally-Ho, Toodle-Pip and off to the boozer for some good, honest English ale.
We arrived to find an authentic pub with various beer towels pinned to the walls. John Smiths, Tetley, Boddingtons, Bombardier, Spitfire..... Moist at the lips with anticipation, we asked what English bitters they had on tap.
"None I´m afraid" said the barman
"WHAT?!" we screamed in unison
"Although we do have a bitter from a local microbrewery" continued the barman
Neil and I looked at each other. An Ecuadorian bitter? Has to be worth a try.
Actually, not worth a try. A barely drinkable nightmare. I´d rather lick wee off a nettle. And to add insult to injury, we accidentally ordered two pints EACH by mistake!
Still, twas a fine evening´s entertainment all round. Job´s a good un´
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Loopy
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Chronicles of the English Curry Fanatic
Love it Pete, most entertaining. Totally bizarro re popadums, samosas and chicken bread - and the bitter sounds revolting. Did you drink both pints?? Eeeww... xx