Ooh ah Columbia

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Caro: The flight to Bogota was fine; we must hold the record for having spent the most time in Lima airport in a week. We were picked up and taken to our fairly average hotel. I say this because the previous places that we have stayed have been really lovely in the past few weeks. I booked it so it was my fault! Anyway we planned to head out for some dinner and we had a couple of places in mind. It was about 7pm by the time we arrived and when we asked where one of the restaurants was located we were told that it would shut at 9pm. It was actually about 2 blocks from the hotel but the guy on the reception had to call about 10 people to find this out. We were also recommended to take taxis everywhere in Bogota but in actual fact we walked as recommended by the hotel. Bogota is a lot safer than people make out! I had plans to wash my hair etc but had to settle on well just not washing it. Anyway we had been recommended a vegetarian place, Joff wasn’t all that keen but on arrival the lady said that she could do him an anti-pasti plate with prosciutto and Parma ham his eyes lit up. We had a really lovely meal and despite there being less meat on the plate than say there is in Argentina Joff seemed quite happy. We went for a couple of beers afterwards and took a taxi home.

Bogota is a sprawling city which is on a plateau surrounded by mountains, we had hoped to climb up to Cerro Monserrate so that we could get a good view of the city but you can’t walk anymore you can just get a train or a cable car. When we asked we were told that it opened at 14. "2pm" we said. "No, 2014" they said. Guess we were a few years early! We settled for exploring the city on foot and there is a lot to see. We were impressed that although there seems to be a lot of construction in the city centre, the road network is pretty advanced i.e.: the roads are not dirt tracks. In all seriousness though I have no idea why they paint lines on the road because no one remotely stays within the lines and just zigzag in and out of the traffic. The Plaza Boliviar which was just by our hotel was one of the main highlights but there are small streets with markets, stalls selling all manner of different things. The majority of these are things that you don’t need but some of them I guess that you might. We were both impressed at how advanced Bogota was in comparison to some of the cities that we have visited in Bolivia and Peru for example and we had some really nice food there as well.

Our hotel grew on us, it was good value, they did all of our washing for us and it was close to all of the sights, good restaurants and places that we wanted to see. It was also in the La Candelaria which is the 470 year old historic city centre and is really beautiful.

We explored most of the sights around La Candelaria, such as the Capitolio Nacional which is the seat of congress, the Palacio de Justicia and the Catedral Primada. We also decided to visit the Museo Nacional. This museum is in a stunning old building which used to be a prison. It gives a really good insight into the history of Columbia through to modern times.

On the Saturday evening we went to watch Columbia play Mexico in the Sub 20 Wold cup, Joff true to form bought a Columbia shirt for the occasion but unfortunately Columbia were not able to come up with the goods and were chucked out of the competition. Boo! We were able to see Brazil win this tournament a couple of days later in Cartagena. I think we were both impressed with how patriotic the Columbians are, they really go for it in a big way and on the Saturday morning when we came out of the hotel onto the street we were gobsmacked by all the shirts. It was like Newcastle on match day except the team is a bit better.

We went for a meal after this at a local restaurant and were able to catch up with all of the football news from the first day of the Premiership. Comforting when you are away from home! We noticed that there was a bit of a party going on upstairs and Joff wondered what it was. I said “erm a lesbian convention”. He was like oh “Shut up Caroline, it is the same word in Spanish”. Anyway the guy called us a taxi and came out to tell us that it was booked and would arrive shortly and could see that we were looking up to the party above us. He leaned forward and said, in English “It is a wedding, of 2 WOMANS” whilst trying to stifle a giggle at the same time. Joff thought it was hilarious and said “that’s what she said” which made the guy laugh even more. What can I say? Feminine Intuition at its best!

Apart from the vegetarian restaurant, we went to an Israeli restaurant and a couple of more local places. We were impressed by the food but quite unimpressed by the breakfast, it is traditional to have hot chocolate with bread but they give you a lump of cheese to melt into the hot chocolate … yum (well I don’t know whether it was actually yum as I never tried it!)

I have to say that I was dubious about coming to Bogota, first of all my parents warned me off becoming a drugs mule, then you hear stories about safety etc. It is very well policed and at the time we were there we walked around in the evening and we never experienced any issues. You do see a lot of homeless people but you see that everywhere. One morning we saw a homeless guy washing in the drain outside the hotel and the lady who owned the hotel came out and gave him some food. I guess what I am trying to get across is that you see this everywhere and not just in Bogota. I tell this story about the lady from the hotel as it seems to be in the Columbian nature to help out their fellow countrymen when people are in need.

JOFF: We left Bogota with high hopes of an idyllic Caribbean spot to spend the next couple of weeks relaxing and working on the tan before Rio. The flight was excellent and also saved us a 2+ day trip involving buses, boats, cars and a 4x4. From the air things were looking good! Clear water and when the pilot announced that it was 34 degrees on the ground we knew we had made the right decision! The airport was small and we got our bags and were in a taxi in no time. The taxi driver initially tried it on, suggesting the hotel didn’t exist and asking how long we had booked our hotel for, intimating that we could get a lovely apartment through him at a very reasonable rate. Resolutely we held our ground and he finally admitted that he knew the hotel and in fact the guy who ran it! Nothing like trying to rob your mates! The journey was short and although we could see the sea the place looked a bit like a Brits abroad holiday joint that you might find in Spain. We arrived at our "hotel" and walked into a grubby reception to be met by a guy who looked somewhat strung-out on whatever he was taking. Rather than taking the booking number he just said that it was 90,000 pesos a night. He then showed us to a clean but somewhat basic room walking us by the "pool" which had looked nice online but the reality was it was a murky small pond surrounded by tables with rubbish and leftovers all over them. Having given the guy our passport details we looked at each other and realised that we had made a massive balls up by booking for 2 weeks. We went for a short walk and seemed to get a great deal of hassle, do you want to buy this that or the other (all legal products I may add!). Having been harangued all round the world it seemed that we should be used to it but with the underlying hotel issue it seemed to get to us. Sods law! The last few weeks of an amazing trip to be ruined by some cr@ppy hotel!

It was at this point an executive decision was made to sort things out oh and go and get drunk! I suggested that the hotel was not expensive so even if we needed to write off 2 weeks then it was not worth spoiling our holiday for! With this in mind we took a taxi to Plaza Santa Domingo which is in the old part of the walled city and immediately our impression changed. The old part of the city is a maze of wonderful old streets with balconies, plazas, cafes, restaurants, shops and is truly stunning. It reminded us a lot of the old town in Nice.

We had a couple of beers, went online and cancelled our booking at the dive and booked ourselves into a 5* hotel!!! The rate was particularly good as they were doing some maintenance but none the less this did not affect us at all. We went for a lovely dinner in a great little restaurant and then retired home for the 1 night we would have to spend in the hotel from hell! On arriving back to the hotel we expected to find our bags on the street or them to give us a hard time when we left. With this in mind we woke early showered, packed and went to reception with the 90,000 pesos in hand. The guy was waiting there and rather than put up any protest just accepted the money and we were on our way!

In hindsight I guess this happens a lot at this particular hotel and to be honest we have since looked on Booking.com for the hotel and we were unable to find it, I think this speaks wonders. Also the fact that he gave us the price for a single night would suggest that they don´t get a massive amount of repeat business!

On arrival the difference between the 2 places were staggering. The new Hotel Caribe had a huge drive up to the main door with a vaulted lobby with marble floors and aircon! I think we thought that we had died and gone to heaven! I think the hotel staff looked at us with our backpacks and thought we were in the wrong place! That said our booking was fine and they took our bags and lead us to our room, past the semi Olympic pool and 2 restaurants. The room was amazing to say the least with 2 double beds and a view over the Caribbean. We had most certainly arrived!

We spent the first few days round the pool soaking up the sun and enjoying our new environment during the days and spent the long hot evenings in the historic centre enjoying exquisite meals. On the first Saturday it was the final of the under 20 world cup and as we hadn’t had a big night out in a while we decided to descend on the hotel bar and drink rum punch until the football was over, then head to town for a night on the tiles! This was all following a few cube libre´s in the room. In typical fashion things didn’t go as scheduled and the football went to extra time so our drinking was extended by a 3rd! Bonus! I think the bar staff was amazed by our capacity and our enthusiasm for the game in spite of it being between Brazil and Portugal! (We were rooting for Brazil due to where we were located and the fact that we don’t particularly like Christiano Ronaldo!) This enthusiasm was confirmed when Brazil scored whilst I was in the bathroom. In my haste to see who had scored, I missed the step out of the bathroom and ploughed headlong into a wall! Fortunately only Caro and the barman saw this, that said they were both in tears by the time I regained my composure and returned to the bar. I hasten to add I was not actually drunk at this time which made it all the more amusing! I think it paid off as the barman following this insisted on topping up all the drinks we ordered with additional rum! The football finished and Brazil won. We were amazed that these kids played such a good game and that players all over the world are paid ludicrous salaries to play the most drab skill-less football! Well done kids!!

Following the football we headed to town to a bar called Tu Candelera which was heaving. All sorts of people were there and we were quickly bought into the action. Caroline, by a fat guy in white shoes, socks and Bermuda shorts and me by a young hottie!! Her words! (In fact just as an aside we have both commented on the women here, they are all stunning, that said Columbia is the Plastic Surgery Capital of the world and Cartagena has tons of plastic surgery clinics so perhaps this has something to do with it. Also the men that tend to be with these women are all fat, hairy and old. Caroline commented that they must either all be rich or have really nice personalities, I suspect the former). They took us to the dance floor and showed us how to dance which was both embarrassing but also a great deal of fun! We danced and drank until the early hours of the morning and then headed home for some well earned rest.

For the next few days we chilled out during the day and then ventured to the old town for the evenings. Caro ate lobster for the first time which could be an expensive mistake for me! That said on the night in question I was served a raw lobster which I think made Caro enjoy hers even more! We enjoyed some fantastic sunsets as well as doing a romantic horse drawn historic tour of the old centre (really gay, but I loved it too!). The hotel was fantastic and we ate in all three restaurants which were all outstanding! Cartanega had started so badly but when the time came, we were both loathed to leave!!!! Diez Punto´s Cartagena!!!!

We got back to Bogota in the afternoon and came down to earth with a bump when we got back to the hotel Lido after 2 weeks of luxuriating on the coast is clearly enough to start a mild depression. Anyway the lady remembered us and had our booking and was happy to see that we had returned. We headed out to get an early dinner and went back to the vegetarian restaurant which was just as delicious the second time.

We had organised to be picked up the next day to visit the Salt Cathedral which is in Zipaquira. The cathedral was formed from an old salt mine which has been dug straight into the mountains. The cathedral opened to the public in 1995 and it is 75m long and 18m high and can accommodate 8400 people. It is a stunning structure that we thoroughly enjoyed visiting. Sadly I don’t think that the pictures really do it justice but if you imagine being in a Dan Brown novel, you are part of the way there.

In the afternoon we headed to the Museo Historico Policia, my choice clearly as I am the half of the relationship that has read all about Pablo Escobar…. I have to say that it is an extremely well set up exhibition which included a free guided tour by a young chap who is currently serving out his military service showing English speaking tourists round the museum. The exhibition includes all manner of police paraphernalia but the highlight is the basement exhibit following the 499 day hunt for Pablo Escobar, the prized item being the bloody jacket that he wore on the day of his death.

Joff was in his element and the young guy who showed us round was joined by a colleague of his who was really interested in us and why we had come to the museum. He took us up to the top of the museum where you get a stunning view over Bogota and can see the Presidential Buildings. We wandered back past the President´s place and watched what must have been the equivalent of the changing of the guard at Buckingham palace and then wandered round the side of town which we had not previously seen. That evening we had an early dinner and got an early night as we needed to be up at 5am to catch a flight to Sao Paulo... via yet again, Lima!! Bring on Brazil!

We both have said that Columbia was one of the highlights of the trip, not somewhere that we would have chosen to go but somewhere that we both loved. I feel sorry for the people as they worry what people from other countries think as when asked about Columbia people say : drugs, gangsters etc. There is a lot to see and some wonderful people who make it such fun, certainly worth the trip.

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