Travel Dating Roadmap

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Before committing to date #4 I apply the litmus test: I need to feel “Fuck Yes!” else the answer is “No, let’s be friends.” That rule works great when you’re living in a town and attempting to establish a long term local relationship; however, what is the right answer if you’re in town for 2 months? I met Margarita my 4^thday in Bogota. She was sweet, kind, cute, and wanted to show me the town. The first date in the park was filled with jokes, the second date was more laughs in a bar with friends but if friends weren’t there we may have run out of topics to discuss. By date #3 it was a lot of empty stares.

Decision point: Should I do date #4? I’m only going to be in town for another week, so maybe I should enjoy the remaining days with company. Meeting someone else with only a day or two left in town seems lonely and tragic. On the other hand, Margarita does not pass the litmus test – this is not a “Fuck Yes!”

Decision: Go on more dates. I ended up continuing to see Margarita for the lack of reasons not to. However, 2 weeks iteratively stretched into 2 months, and without a reason to stop seeing her she just kept coming around. Temporary monotony became a norm, and before long we were in monogamy mode eating dinners quietly with nothing to say. By the end of the 2 months I felt deprived of meeting other excitements in Bogota and she cried as I left for the airport. I don’t know what the litmus test for travel dating should be, but I want to find one. It needs to balance companionship with the opportunities available. We can’t be in love in every city, can’t always make a best friend… sometimes all that is available is “this is ok” and other times I may need to find the “Fuck Yes!”

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