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Published: July 29th 2007
So I've been in Colombia for 2 weeks now and realised you faithful readers are none the wiser. Is it all Cocaine, Guns and Shakira?? Not quite but then there is no smoke without fire...
Cocaine is everywhere but no more than in London except at far cheaper prices. Also the idea of doing a line in the toilet is clearly a European one, the Colombians use the "divot". The Colombian divot is when you have your hand palm facing down and you pull back your thumb which creates a small divot as your muscle has tensed.... Everyone tried it?? Right, thats where you put your cocaine, deposited from an innocent looking cigarrete. QUICK NOTE FOR THOSE CONCERNED...I WAS TOLD ALL THIS BY A GUY I MET I MYSELF HAVEN´T DONE IT MYSELF!
Guns are everywhere, the military are on the streets and all the motorways but in fact it goes deeper than that. For example in San Gil, a beautiful small mountain town 8 hours North of Bogota, i met a guy called Pedro. He wanted to practice his English so we chatted while i had a meal in the restaurant he waitered in. After a bit we
started talking about family and he told me about his brother, a policeman, who was shot on duty and killed. By the time he finished his eyes were welling up and i was speechless and just said "sorry". Similarly, when i was in my first stay in Bogota (currently in my second) i stayed with a lovely Colombian family who showed me round, took me out to eat and one Sunday we went for Stephanie´s (the daughters) goodbye party as she was doing a year abroad. The´finca´a Colombian country house had been owned by an old guy who fell victim to the guerrillas which meant his children now run it.
Shakira has been spotted....on TV doing a UNICEF advert (isn't she just perfect in every way?). Incidentally we (myself, Dave and Noelle) have also met a Colombian TV star (of sorts). Up the road from our hostel we were peering through a window to look at the artwork when the owner of the house (who was also the artist) invited us in to look at his work. An interesting 20 minutes proceeded in which the bald middle-aged gay artist passed round a spliff and then lots of very impressive
sketches of naked men. I honestly never expected to see the mould of a priest's penis when i walked through that door! Anyway i have been sidetracked, how does this link into TV you are thinking.... Well Arturo (the artist) mentioned he was about to be on TV because he entered a gameshow and won 20 million pesos (about 5 grand). Sure enough back in the hostel we all sat there watching a man who had just put penises in our hands walk away with 20 million pesos...looking back we should have returned to his "den of dongs" to try and get him to buy us a drink, he must be loaded!
At this point i will leave you. The next update will be from Medellin, supposedly the fake breast capital of the world....can't wait
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Typical Sight
