Have No Expectations

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Keep an open mind and have no expectations. This is what I've been telling myself since November when I knew I was coming here and I think I did a pretty good job at doing that prior to arriving here. I was calm and confident not having ANY idea where or what or how I would be teaching here. It didn't bother me one bit that I had zero answers to the questions everybody wanted to know. And even at our first day of orientation, the mantra was still "Have no expectations." Every school is different, so they could not predict what our individual experiences would be like, and I still felt completely ok with that. From the application process to day 1 at my new school, I had been told that this program would be an experience for me to collaborate and co-teach with a Chilean English teacher. Obviously, they could look like any number of things in practice, but despite having no expectations, I certainly had a vision of what my job would be like when I got here (ok, so I definitely had expectations, but I guess they just weren't that strong). Well, after nearly 2 weeks of teaching, I certainly shouldn't have had any image, vision, expectations, or any other type of emotion that describes foresight because everything I thought this program would be like has changed, both in positive and negative ways.

First, my expectations about what the students would be like here were fairly spot on. From my experience teaching in Thailand I knew to expect students that were more care-free, and I suppose they would appear to be wild and out of control to most American teachers. They're much louder, talkative, and in some ways, out of control in comparison to the American classrooms I've worked in the past 5 years. However, much of this can be attributed to classroom management, which is largely non-existent here aside from lots of shhhs, banging a ruler on a desk, and mean stares, along with occasionally kicking someone out of class. Don't get me wrong, I like the teachers I'm working with, but their ideas of classroom management are certainly different from what is expected of teachers back home. This doesn't mean it's bad, simply different. Again, have no expectations is the perfect mantra for everything about this program.

Second, throw collaboration and co-teaching out the window. I was given a schedule and told I would see each of my classes twice a week. So forgot any sense of continuity and consistency as well. I'm teaching grades 7-12 and for the 2 days I see each of my assigned classes, which are split up between 3 different teachers, my task is to teach a test preparation lesson one day (the students here take an international Cambridge English exam in middle and again in high school to demonstrate their proficiency in the language. Seems to be an optional exam, but I've yet to find out) and teach either a spelling/vocabulary lesson the second day for my middle school kids and do small group speaking lessons for my high schoolers. So there is no co-teaching. I've simply been given control classes twice a week and given a framework to go forth on. It's like I'm a student teacher again, but this time I'm making a little bit of money. Again, this doesn't mean it's good or bad, it's just different. Being here for only 2 weeks makes it hard for me to see whether this is going to be good or bad for me and my goals, but ideas are starting to form in my mind already about what this will do for my positive growth as well as what it means for my future, both here and after I return to the US.

On the up side, planning only 2 lessons a week is pretty easy so it means I'll have plenty of time to do the things I want to do outside of work, but it also means I won't feel challenged. Teaching in the US has gotten me so accustomed to working 60+ hours per week that I feel kind of lost if I don't have things to keep me that busy. But having time to do the things I enjoy in the city will definitely be a positive for me in this circumstance, once I adjust to working a normal 30-40 hours per week. Already it's given me the time to pick up a couple of clients I'm tutoring through a company I got a side job with, enabling me to make a little extra money each month, which will certainly be useful.

So what does this all mean for me? Well, I'm not really sure yet. I'm taking everything in stride, doing the best that I can, and spending a lot of time (probably too much emotional energy) thinking about what comes next. That's what this entire journey since last spring/summer has been about: What's next? I know that this is only a step along the way and I am so happy I chose to take this step. I'll still agree with people who say it may have been an unnecessary step, but at the same time I know it's a positive step for me, both personally and professionally. And honestly, that's all that matters in the end. I'm happy with my decision to come here and now that I'm here, it's time to start thinking and making moves regarding what's next. So that's what I'm working towards. Whatever vision I have of my life post-Chile. It's fuzzy now, but certainly clearer than it was only a month ago, and that's exciting to me. Each day my vision of my future professional self is getting just a little clearer. But again, I think it's important not to have any expectations right now. I never know how things might change.

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Comments

[Arlene]

Hola Brian
Hola Brian. Como estas? He leido tu blog hoy y ahora tengo preguntas para ti... en ingles. You didn't say what kind of school this is, is it public or private. I was just wondering if the students in public schools are a little more unruly than they would be in private. How many students do you have in each class? Do you get any holiday break, like Easter, for a full week to give you travel time? Sounds like you're having a very good learning experience while there. We hope you continue to find this a "teaching" or learning experience. I'm typing this in Tio Neils office and he also says hi, or hola! Take care and espero leer mas de tu trabajo en Chile.