Things Get Complicated

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So it's been a few weeks since I've taken the time to sit down and write anything here. Partially out of laziness, but partially because once you get into the rhythm of working and having a normal life, the mundane becomes routine and there isn't much to report on. But I'm at a point where there are some things worth writing about.

So first off, work has gotten different since my last post. The other American teacher and I met with the head of English for the entire school system we work in to express our frustration at not having the work environment that was promised to us, and she addressed this with some of our teachers. Little has changed, but I'm adjusting to my role and have a great working relationship with the teacher I work with most often, so even though I'm still not truly co-teaching, the work environment has improved. We also both met with the owner of the company that got us our job and expressed our frustrations to him. He was extremely receptive and grateful that we brought this to his attention because he had no idea that we were not being utilized in the manner that was expected. He didn't promise that anything significant could change now, but he can at least make changes for the next group of teachers to come in. He also told us that should we decide to extend for a 2nd semester, he would offer us the chance to change schools, which is something they usually do not offer. This could give us the opportunity to teach in a university or to work with adults in a private company if we chose to go that route. So since that point in time I have felt better about my experiences at work, but there are still great days and bad days, just like with any job. But things have been strange over the past 2 weeks. The teacher I really did not enjoy working with quit at the beginning of last week because she accepted a job at another school. So I was able to work last week exclusively with the teacher I enjoy working with, which was really nice. They hired a new teacher that I started with this week and she just quit as well. So now I'll be back with the better teacher until they find a new replacement. I've requested to work exclusively with the teacher I work best with, but they explained that it isn't fair for only some students to have me in class, while others don't get to work with me at all. While disappointing, I fully agree with their decision. So work has been bumpy but there are days I really enjoy it and am excited, and other days when I'm pretty bummed out and want out of there. Which leads me to the really big question: Do I go home in July or extend for a second semester?

I've been talking to family and friends about this a lot over the past week and while I'm pretty certain I know what the better decision is, I'm still extremely conflicted. If I extend, I think I'd rather work in a university, but that brings up questions of potentially getting paid less (not sure if that would be the case, but I really cannot afford to get paid any less than I already am), having a potentially longer commute than the hour I already have, and going from a fairly easy work environment to something more difficult, although most likely challenging in a positive way. I've brought up all those topics with the company and am awaiting their response so I can take all of that information into consideration. Additionally, I've decided that by this fall I want to apply to go to law school starting in Fall 2015. This decision may seem like it's coming out of nowhere, but it's something I've had in the back of my mind and have mentioned mostly as a joke to people for the past 2 years. About a year ago someone finally said something to me that made me take the idea seriously, and I've been thinking about it since. I've done a lot of research on it and I think it's something that will allow me to use my background in education, combined with the new skills I'll learn, to apply myself to another field of education, whether it be working for a department of education, working in special education law, or employment law to assist teachers. Who knows what the future will hold, but it's a decision I'm excited about. So with that choice in mind, that has a big impact upon my decision to stay here longer or not. If I leave here in July, I'd go home, hopefully with a teaching job already secured, teach for a year, save money, and then go back to school. So really I'd only be going home because of financial considerations. In the big picture, I'm still going to have a ridiculous amount of debt from law school, but working for a year could help to offset it a little bit. If I extend here and stay till December, I'd come home much more fluent in Spanish than I am now, which is a skill that could be a huge asset to me in my future career, and this is likely the last opportunity I will ever have to live abroad like this. So really it's a question of what do I value more: Earning money for a year or learning Spanish and having a transformative experience here that could help shape who I become. Again, I think I know what the right choice is, I'm just having a lot of difficulty being firm and confident in my decision. Fortunately I've been able to talk it through with a lot of friends and family recently and they've helped to put it in a different perspective for me, which will hopefully make my choice easier when I need to decide only 12 days from now. So really that thought process has been taking up a lot of my energy recently and aside from that not too much has been going on.

I've made some new Chilean friends, which is wonderful for my Spanish, and I had a great last weekend at Lollapalooza where I got to see a few bands I really like. This weekend should be pretty low key, maybe seeing some new things around Santiago and going hiking (finally!). It's funny because everybody keeps asking me what I've been doing, and really, it's the same as what everyone else does at home. During the week, I go to work just like everyone else. On the weekends, that's where I try to find fun stuff to do and sightsee, but I think everyone just automatically assumes this is like vacation for me. While it certainly is just a tiny bit, I'm here to work and work takes up most of my time. So, sorry to disappoint, but I am not living a life of luxury and doing tons of amazing things. I've seen and done some cool stuff, but it's been a slow process, which is to be expected. Each weekend I try to see something new or eat a new food or have a new experience that I couldn't have at home. But during the week, it's the same old daily grind. Sorry for the lack of pictures, but I really haven't taken any new ones in the past couple weeks! I'll try to do a better job and get a lot of photos up here for my next post.

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