Go hard or go home

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Participating in an event called “Go hard or go home” at our sports club, I thought it was time to talk about sports in Brazil - not football.

Sports is very important. The majority does it, the minority pretends to do it - by dressing like going to the gym. Dressing codes at the gym do not exist. You can were your oldest t-shirt and look like a potato or bring your sparkling underwear along. The less the better: The more flesh the merrier!
In both cases, you will get your kiss. To be more precise, not just one kiss. Every trainer will sneak behind you until he is able to give you this Brazilian style welcome. And, of course, everybody knows your name and is keen on chatting with you.
Lessons in Brazil are very different from German ones. You can choose between bicycle, body pump, power jump and sit-ups. Every lesson is accompanied by the hippest music mix, stimulating disco light and perfectly trained movements according to the melody. As the music is so loud, the trainer uses a microphone and if you show the slightest wish to fall of your bicycle, he shouts your name (or a nick) through the speakers and gives you a short command: “Pedrao (big Pedro), without knees”! (doing press-ups), “more weight, Barbara”! (body pump), for example. Or he exploits the situation (yeah, I have a microphone) for presenting his singing capabilities.
For motivation, a little game is also played: the trainer shouts at the people and they shout back. Trainer: “Are you with me”???? Sporty guys: “Until the end”!!!! Comments like “Does it hurt??? Then it’s good!!!” try to bring you the enthusiasm of the trainer.
Doing sports here is a combination of sports and entertainment. I think, the Germans could really learn something from the Brazilians.

For you to understand a little more about the classes here, let me present a few of the persons:
Superman. I’m not joking. This is a guy who already did sit-ups in his mother’s belly. I am sure instead of crying when glimpsing the first light of this planet, to everyone’s amazement he said: “go, one more, it’s hard, just do it”! Because of his sculpture like body and his petrified smile we suppose he is an undercover agent for a dentist lobbying organization. He is really nice: at the end of the lesson, girls row up at the door where he is already waiting and receive there personal charming pay for attending the class.
The hippi-hoppi. To begin with: I think this guy would not find himself with a map. He is the “I want to be like Superman” but he is far too young and inexperienced. Nobody takes him for serious. Nevertheless, he does a good job - the job that no man in the gym wants to do: power jump (jumping on a trampoline and doing aerobic movements). His trade mark: long blond hair hold by a white cap.
The shoutman. He is the spiritual guy. During the bicycle lesson he always shows the psychiatric link between you, your bicycle and the psychotic fantasy he calls a landscape. As he mostly shouts during the non relaxing parts, I do not really understand what he is freaking about. What he has to say must be really important otherwise he would not waste his last breath on it. To make some sense out of this I try to imagine him as my guru.
The cleaning lady. Today in the event, everybody got crazy and joined the party. The cleaning lady, too. She is a great dancer!

All in all, they are really great guys.

Having done too much sports to day, I will have a sleep now.

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