The butterfly of chaos

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I would just like to say thank you to everyone who came out and made my various leaving do's (there did seem to be quite a few) so much fun. Thanks for all the presents and good wishes, especially the ipod that everyone put so much work into adding the music to.

I have finally arrived in Rio, a little later than i had expected but feeling better for having proven the temporal version of the butterfly effect. Now i know that you my friends that have known me for years will treat the rumours that have been circulating with the disdain they deserve. Quite frankly it is ridiculous to claim that an experienced traveller who is setting off on an expedition for a couple of years, one who doesn't know the language of any of the countries he is visiting and one who was always going to be a little hung over when he headed off for his flight would not do all in his power to make his journey as easy as possible. It is even more ridiculous for those who have been spreading this rumour to suggest that when that traveller arrived at heathrow in plenty of time for his flight, he became confused when unable to find the terminal that Delta airways flies from. And beyond contemplation that the reason for this is because Delta don't fly from heathrow at all and that our intrepid traveller should at that point in time have been standing in Gatwick. Luckily we can write that off as complete fantasy and although it is true that i failed to catch my 11 o'clock flight and strange that the reason is not catalogued in this e-mail it definately wasn't because i hadn't looked at my ticket and gone to the wrong airport!!!

Missing the 11 O'clock flight was an unfortunate incident especially as i was only flying on this somewhat out of the way route to save some cash and Delta in their attempt to get themselves out of bankruptcy are being very strict on their penalty fares. The $200 dollar penalty ate quite a long way into any savings i had made and i was later to regret not getting a direct flight. Luckily for me however this wasn't going to be a major issue as fortunately there was another Delta flight from Gatwick at 1. I had a five hour layover in Atlanta and so had plenty of time to catch my connection to Rio. That was until the butterfly of chaos (who presumably was somewhere in the area) stuck it's antennae in the air and grandiosely flapped its wings.

So I have payed my fine and am now booked on the 1 O'clock flight, well almost. It's true that i have a ticket but for some reason despite there being many spare seats in economy i couldn't be allocated one at the ticket desk. This was due, the ticket office attendant assured me, to a minor technicality. The code i had booked my previous ticket under was not available for this flight so i would have to be put on standby for the flight. I looked a little alarmed at this particularly after paying $200 for the privilege. However as there was so much spare space it wouldn't cause an issue and i would be allocated a seat at the boarding gate. Well fair enough i said, what could possibly go wrong with that!

I wandered up to check in and put my bags through, but the check in girl couldn't quite work out what to do with them. 'Your on standby´ she said,'Yes´ I replied. 'Well we can't check your bags through to Rio´, 'You will have to get them in Atlanta and put them through customs and then put them on the transit belt so that they can be put on the plane to Rio´. Was that a breath of air i felt against my cheek?

Now i wandered to dixons to get some Ipod accessories and then strolled through to my gate as it should be boarding, strangely however it had changed to 'please wait´ and then to 'board at 2´apparently i found out there was some bad weather in Atlanta and my flight had been delayed on it's way across. Still it arrived and when i got to the gate i was given a seat without any problems. My boarding card for the Rio flight was printed all i needed to do was get my bag, take it through customs and put it onto the transit belt.

Unfortunately at 2 our flight suffered a technical difficulty it was short lived and by about 2.30 we were about ready to go. The pilot apologised for the delay and assured us that we should be able to make some of the time back on the flight across. However it would seem that the wind wasn't in our favour and the plane arrived an hour and a half late. But that was ok i still had an hour and a half to make my flight. Well almost! A few weeks before i left i had been phoned by expedia telling me there was a change of schedule. I was quite concerned b ut the change was my flight leaving from Atlanta an hour early. I had a five hour layover so i was actually quite pleased now it was only four hours. Or by the time you miss your first flight and the second is an hour and a half late that would be 30 minutes.

Still luckily i could still make it the airport was quiet i breezed through immigration but i needed to collect my bag. The bags even came quite quickly, hundreds of them, many of the other passengers had even caught up with my wild flight through the airport by that time and happily taken their bags, until eventually mine came but now all the rest of the flight was ahead of me in the queue for customs. I finally made it through and raced to the Delta counter where the man very kindly rang through to the plane to be told they were just closing the doors on a plane that was leaving an hour earlier than had been originally intended. I had managed to miss a plane because it left early!! Now i'm sorry but it's a little difficult to not start thinking about conspiracy theories at this point in time.

So i ask 'when is the next plane to Rio, Please tell me it's not long', 'Sir i'm afraid there is only one direct flight a day, the next one leaves in 24 hours'I'm quite proud of my composure at this point and due to that restraint, i'm not currently being accused of terrorist charges. Luckily there was an option and i could get a plane in only 4 hours time. It however went to Sau Paulo. Now the legal time for an interchange at Sau Paulo is 90 minutes. There was a connection 85 minutes after my flight was due to arrive, but that could not be guaranteed to arrive and make the change in time, the next flight was 5 hours later. There are many many flights between Sau Paulo and Rio each day. I have no idea why i couldn't take any of them but apparently if i missed the 12.10 flight my next chance wasn't until 17.10. I thought i woulkd take the risk surely i wouldn't have to wait another 5 hours.

1 game of american football later i was at the gate for the Sau Paulo flight, no problems boarding, it took off on time an easy flight. As you can imagine my suspicion was aroused. I could put it down to jetlag and the pints of Samuel Adams i had drunk during the game, it could even have been down to faulty air conditioning but i could have sworn a breeze went through the cabin. The flight despite suffering several bouts of turbulence arrived perfectly on time. Or more precisely it touched down perfectly on time. It then waited for 30 minutes on the tarmac because there wasn't a gate available for it to unload at. A little frustrating but i had faith. Again i ran to beat the queue picked up my bag which predictably had to clear customs at the first port in the country. Through i went my bag was even one of the first off, i'm going to make it. My lack of portuguese and my somewhat panicked flight did make finding the check in counter a little awkward but with perseverence i made it and stood in a line of maybe 10 people still with 25 minutes before my flight left.

All of a sudden a long line of portuguese speaking people with about 45 suitcases each appear from nowhere, get ushered to the front of the queue and proceed to argue with the check out officials presumably (given the arm gesturing) about how they didn't have too much luggage and it should be no problem. I a little perturbed by this break in the British protocol of queueing questioned one of the attendants to find out these people were in danger of missing their flight and so had been allowed to the front of the queue. I pointed out that i myself was a little pushed for time, however clearly neither my portuguese or my gesturing were up to it and so was completely ignored. Finally i made it to a counter and remarkably was issued with a ticket, there appeared to be no major issue that my plane was due to board 15 minutes previously and due to take off in 15 minutes. Still grateful that something had finally gone my way i rushed off through the security checks to find my gate.

Once there I was surprised to discover that no one had boarded. Everyone was queued up but no one had got onto the bus to ferry us to the plane. 20 minutes later this still hadn't changed despite the fact i should now be in the air. After half an hour we were informed that the plane had a technical difficulty and we should come back at 1.30. The place went beserk 80 year old brazillian women were berating the poor attendant with such vehemence a riot was inevitable any minute. To the untrained eye it would look like this was an unusual occurence. 1.30 came and went and eventually at 2.30 we began to board or more precisely the elderly and women with children were allowed onto the bus. The inevitable sinking ship analagy had not escaped me and i feared the worst, however it never came. The flight left and at 4.p.m Brazillian time i reached Rio a mere 32 hours after setting out from home for my original flight.

Surprisingly i haven't done quite as much exploring of Rio as i had hoped all though watching the sunset on Ipenema beach while drinking a beer did go some way to alleviating my stress levels. However if i see the clouds of butterflies that the national park around iguassu is famous for (except for the waterfalls), then i may have to exact some form of terrible revenge!!!!

Hopefully next time i might have done some exploring beyond airports.

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Comments

[Leigh]

You Plonker
Excellent start Alex. Didnt they teach you how to read plane tickets at Cambridge :)

[Chris]

Ballardism
I was really surprised to read this Alex, I mean the whole thing seems just so out of character for you. You know if there was one person on earth I could have sworn something like this would never happen to it would be you. No honestly, I really, really mean it. Seriously though, it can be traumatic though when someone as normally ordered and regular about their life, such as your good self, comes across a major disruption to their routine such as this. Make sure you take it easy for a couple of days. Asta la vista!

[Mal]

It would appear people should have given you a ticket to Gatwick, a navigation system and dictionaries instead of a lovingly loaded ipod. Oh well, hope you had 32 hours worth of tunes loaded to drown out the flapping of butterfly wings. After five years of travelling with you, I still find it incredibly hard to believe you maintained composure rather than lost your temper at every stage, but hey, we only have your word for it :-)

[TT]

Why surprised ?
after your failed adventure of navigating from your room to reception in time for a game of basketball, i can say that i am not surprised with your adventure. Hopefully the rest of your trip will be as fab as wel hope!!!