PART 13 - A FEW MORE DAYS IN MANAUS, AND THEN A FEW MORE, AND ESCAPING A VIOLOENT DEATH- something that was not on the agenda

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My first morning back in Manaus was heavenly, because it was Sunday, which meant the market was open for breakfast, and I was in good company. I had the most delicious tapioca, with cashew nuts, ham, cheese, and who knows what else, and a peanut guarana smoothee. Afterwards Regi dropped me uptown back at Carlos’s place and went back to Tupe, as he had to go home. He said he would return in a few days to say goodbye before my flight to Colombia, and so goodbye was a little difficult but I knew it wasn’t the final goodbye.

It was just my luck that Carlos, Jarbas, and Renato (some of Carlos’ great roommates) were having a birthday party for a friend downstairs by the pool. This meant giant tasty bbq, and amazing cupuacu smoothies with rum! I enjoyed the food and company and marveled at my luck to return from my peaceful “vacation” to a wonderful warm afternoon party!

As the party went on, I didn’t feel like drinking so I thought I would go upstairs and catch up on some writing, which I did late into the night.

The next morning I awoke to the intense orchestra of dawn, one I hoped never to forget. A sweet song so utterly intense and full of life, like opening a giant river dam, the sound rushed out with such energy as if its shear force was lifting the sun itself, willing it to rise. I had put my hammock outside and slept on the balcony, as it was my preferred method of sleeping, and despite the glorious symphony I stayed in my hammock and slept in a little until the sun’s rays on my hammock grew too hot to bear.

I didn’t do much that day except have my traditional ham and cheese breakfast with Carlos, a routine I really enjoyed.


The next day Regi came back and we spent most of the day running errands. Exhausted we got a hotel and spent the night in the city. Over the course of the night Regi ran a massive fever and got the shakes so the next morning we went to the hospital. The hospital was a slow and painful experience but in the end it turned out Regi had malaria. He was not worried, as it was his 12th time having Malaria… He got the meds and went to the mall to feel North American. The air-conditioning was a nice break, and I felt like I was back home- a pause in civilization. After delicious ACAI we saw a movie and went back to our hotel and hit the sack.

I awoke annoyingly early to the sound of Regi’s 5 am shower! He was already getting ready to go back to Tupe, which annoyed me, but whatever. We stepped out into the busy Brazilian morning. Ahhh… How I loved Brazil! I grabbed a coffee with tapioca and cupuacua juice from the street and sat on one of the little plastic benches all the vendours had set up. I enjoyed watching the busy chaos of buses and people shuffling by. It was bustling and alive, but you knew there was time for life, and if you stopped someone in the street, they would stop to talk to you and not be rushing off to work, even they were on their way to work- because that was Brazil. There was something so savory, so down to earth, so…. I’m not sure what… a real connection between people that for them seemed normal, and without second thought, but impressive to watch the dynamic, kind, web of life, spinning all around me.

Well Regi went back to Tupe again that day, which was sad, but only for a few days, and I went back to Carlos’s. I spent the rest of the week catching up on my diary and getting organized for my trip, and was pleased to spent my last couple of days with Regi. We went to the movies again and I tried to savor my last moments in Brazil.

When we got to the airport, I was filled with sadness. I didn’t want to leave. Sure I wanted to see Colombia, but my time here had been so precious, so nice, I didn’t want it to end. I said good bye and went to check in my bags, and then the airline told me I couldn’t board to Bogota because I didn’t have an ongoing flight. WHAT?? Well… hmmmm… I can’t buy a flight now, I don’t even know my next destination… This is so inconvenient… - but being flexible, as always with my trip, I didn’t really mind cause I knew this meant extra days in Brazil and with Regi, and so I started to get happy.

Ok fine, give me 2 days to book a flight. Sure.

Regi, how would you like to spend 2 more days with me in the city. He was sad and heartbroken, and ya, sure, I wish… (not knowing or beliving I was serious). -No, seriously, my flight has been cancelled cause bla, bla, bla…. WOW! REALLY! OK!


I spent the next 2 days organizing the rest of my trip- which took FOREVER, and the rest of the time savoring my last few moments with Regi.

On the last evening we left the hotel at midnight, as my flight was at 2:30am, and so we were heading to the airport. As we walked down the desolated dark downtown street, everything was quite and closed, and no one was on the street. I paid little attention to anything as my mind was so focused on my trip, and so I thought nothing of the two kids approaching us from the front. They were 2 boys maybe in their early 20’s, and looked stoned or drunk like they were coming from or going to a party. In hindsight I should have crossed the street, when one of them made deliriously steady and provocative eye contact with me- but having become so use to the daily harassment by men, I just put it off as another leer.

They got closer and closer. I moved to the side, as we were almost going to bump into each other, but he move with me. I thought he was just screwing around with me until he bumped into me. I was still confused when he grabbed my left shoulder, forcing my arm behind my back, as he started to walk me across the street away from Regi who was now occupied with his other friend. The distance between Regi and I grew to about 20 meters within seconds, and the eye contact between me and the guy was unshaken. Still completely confused, and clueless as to what he wanted, the perp gazed at me with stone cold indeference and complete determination. In Portuguese he said “give me your money or I’ll stab you” as he pressed something (that was probably his hand hard into my back, just underneath my ribs and just about where my kidney would be). Instantly, fear began to trickle into me slowly as I realized that he could take my life. -But I was supprized by the fact that I wasn’t so afraid, only a little, I was covered by a massive blanket of shock which brought dampened my fear with a huge sense of calm, and more than anything as I looked into his eyes, what I could only describe as the heartless eyes of killer, all I could feel was intense sadness. -A sadness that in front of me existed such an evil person, who could not see me as a person but rather as a ticket of some kind- it made me want to cry, and all I could do was put myself at his mercy. I didn’t have anymoney- or at least I thought I didn’t- I was so confused- I whimpered, I don’t have any money- he has everything… -and to explain, I thought I was being compleately honest, and I was. You see I had run out of money that day, but Regi had been carrying my wallet and everything- so when I said it, it came out as the first true thought in my head. -and I think the sincerity was so convicing that it was the only reason he let me go and moved on to Regi and his accomplise.

In reality, however, I forgot I had about a hundred US bucks, travelers checks, and several hundred dollars worth of electronics in the pack on my back- because I when he asked me for money I was thinking of Brazilian Reais, which I had run out of…

Well I was lucky he didn’t stab me, but as I saw the two of them go after Regi is when the real fear started. So this is what it felt like to be fighting a game of chess for your life. What was my next move, and how could I help Regi? Luckily he began to ran and made it to the hotel just up the street. The robbers started to walk up the street and away from me, but they were walking backwards starring at me. They gave me a stair as if they were playing with me, scarring me, deciding what they wanted to do with me. I stood there in the middle of the abandoned intersection, no one in sight slowly stepping backwards. They were about 50 yards away from me, and Regi was now in the hotel in their direction. I couldn’t go there as they could easily intercept me before I made it- and if I run away… well where, what dangers lie around the corner…plus Regi had my back pack and I had a plane to catch… I felt like a frightened mouse, stuck in a maze, deciding what path to run down. I paused, hoped, waited… REGI!! WHERE ARE YOU!! I thought to myself…

Had he abandoned me, what the hell was taking so long… Fuck! -Finally after about 5 painful minutes he came out, with my backpack and started walking towards me. The two kids were still there but further up the street, and my terror really started when I saw them change direction in pursuit of Regi. They began to almost run as if they were going to rush him- and I forgot to mention that one had a foot long knife! Regi was facing me and had no idea of the tidal wave approaching from his rear.

OLIHA!!! OLIHA!! REGI!! OLIHA!!! (means look!!!!!!). My heart was pounding and my voice screaming in desperation imagining the worst. At the last minute, as Regi reached the intersection he turned around and through his small backpack at them. Within a split second some guys up the street came rushing out of a building screaming LADRON!! LADRON!! (thieves!) - and the next thing I knew the two punks took off down the other street, and one of the men that had rushed out in pursuit pulled out a gun and started firing at them!! He fired about 3 or 4 shots, and without a second though, fully aware of the danger that was around, I grabbed Regi and ordered him to run with me down the other street. We ran and at the first corner encountered a taxi. Fully shaken we jumped in and asked the man to take us to the airport (but stop by a teller first, as I had no money…).

Wow… THANK GOD, THANK GOD, we had not only escaped with our things, but most of all our lives!! -and the worst had not happened - I had imagined them stabbing Regi to death, and god knows what else… We were safe… Awww…. Never would I make the same mistake again. No more lonely streets (even with a friend)- only taxis. -and most importantly, a decent wad of cash in my pocket to hand over. Had I had the money, and had I handed it over, there would not have been a problem, it was standard Brazilian robbing practice- you just have to know how to handle it, or best of all AVOID it.

We got to the airport, and this time I was really leaving. -and I wasn’t ready. I was so shaken up and scared that I wanted, I needed someone, someone like Regi, to just comfort me and make me feel safe. -but I didn’t have that luxury, the show must go on. Off I was, alone, to Colombia, the country of infamous fame for bloody civil war and brutal crimes… to go stay with strangers that couldn’t hold my hand the way someone who loved me could… In reality I knew Colombia was much safer now, but still, I had never been there, and I wasn’t feeling my strongest.

I said goodbye to Regi, and it was hard and sad, but not as sad as it had been to leave Oscar in Toronto. That sadness could not be compared.

Exhausted I fell asleep on the plane with my head in the early morning sun. The sun comforted my scared heart like it always had, and it reminded me in my dreams of the endless relazing night I had on the Aldea and on the boat. As I woke, my heart cried, will I ever know such sweet peace and serenity again? Can that beautiful time ever be repeated? -

My whole soul literally ached in longing. I felt lonely and vulnerable. I felt scared and weak, but I reminded myself that I had what it takes to get through this, and that these feelings were probably just generated as a result of the trauma, and that they would move on in a couple days…

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