La Paz...home to the worlds most dangerous...everything!

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Following our 3 day adventure around south west Bolivia hanging out in hot springs and amusing ourselves, with what we have all decided are the campest animals in the world, Llamas, we arrived in lofty La Paz, the second largest city in Bolivia. I had heard alot about La Paz, mainly so from the book i read last year called Marching Powder, which tells the story of a Brit who got locked up in a prison in La Paz for trying to smuggle a shed load of coke out of Bolivia to the UK, smart guy. But La Paz really is the home to everything dangerous, every tout will try and sell you an experience that is ´the most dangerous´ and even breathing or eating makes you feel like you are in danger, hopefully i can explain as i write on.
Arriving in La Paz was spectacular. We took an overnight train as far as we could to a rather non plus town called Oruro, deciding to book´executive class´to make our jounrey as comfortable as possible. I wouldnt say it was comfortable but they did go the extra mile by giving us a cup of tea in a mug, and a cheese and ham roll that smelt and felt like it was a week old. I politely declined both. After the train it was then a 3 hour bus to La Paz from Oruro, costing us a mere 18 Bolivianos, which is 1.50 GBP! Anyway, i digress, back to arriving in La Paz...basically the city sits in a massive bowl, so when you arrive from the top of the canyon, you have a grand overview of the city below you, it was quite something. Another impressing thing about La paz is how high it is. It is the highest city in the world, sitting at the lofty height of about 3600 meters above sea level. Just walking up a flight of stairs in La Paz takes the complete breathe out of you. Apart from the slight effect of the odd marly light or two, i consider myself and my lungs to be in good shape, but you could be bloody Pavarotti with the biggest set of the lungs in the world and breathing in La Paz is like sucking in glass. It is actually really unsettling! Even lugging your bag onto your back requires a quick 5 second break to suck in some air before you move on, and we´ve all noticed that sleeping in bed at night you get really short of breath and have to basically sleep with your gob wide open to let a constant stream of air in, you can probably imagine it makes for some GREAT snoring in dorms....
So, arrived in La Paz, Jack and i were immedialty on the hunt for something dangerous to do. To be honest, just walking around La Paz can be dangerous, we read heaps of ´watch out´ warnings in guide books and all that, but to be honest, i didnt feel threatened once the whole time we were there. Natalie and Jess had decided that shopping for artisans and wooly things and finding a decent salad were of the top of their agenda for the 4 days so Jack and i set about finding something extreme to do to appease our appetities for some adventure.
We decided to cycle down ´the worlds most dangerous road´. Basically, i dont need to explain it too much, it is exactly that. A 64km, 5 hour cylce down the worlds most dangerous road. A road that is 3 meters wide, gravel, not paved and with a sheer mountain drop on one side that has killed 8 people since the activity began. Only 6 months ago a poor 21 year old Oxford student went off the edge, falling 70' meters and copping it. Its OK, i can wirte this now as i´ve done it and wont get any e mails from mum telling me i am crazy and stupid. So with our balls firmly in place and helmets on, Jack and I set off with our tour group on the cycle. Before we left we all had to do a little ritual which every cyclist or driver taking the ´death road´ does before they leave. We had to take a small bottle of alcohol and pour some on our tyres, some on the ground and then wet our lips, all in the name of blessing ´mother earth´, or in my head, begging her to be nice to my bike and let me make it to the end unscathed.
It was absolutely incredible, the scenery was breath taking, we were actually cycling through clouds we were up that high. We went 1000 meters higher than La Paz, so starting the cycle at 4500 meters and by the end we ended up at 1000 meters. So our 3500 meter decline was the standard height for most sky dives, just to give it some context and talk it up a bit.
Some of the bends on the road were a bit hairy and it was at that point that my balls were porbably rising towards my throat. You had no choice but to take it slow, one small rock could throw your back wheel out sending you over the edge, and with the promise of an all you can eat buffet at the end of the cycle there was no way i was going to risk not making it to the end. Two German lads in our group had other ideas and were acting like complete tossers, racing each other, cycling up your ass, balls bigger than their brains, blah blah blah.
It was quite amazing how the climate changed so rapidly. One minute we were in full rugged up gear, pants, jacket, scarf, in high altitude amongst the clouds, and then next we were sweating, strippng down to shorts and t shirts and cycling through low altititude humidity. Really quite strange on the senses. Our end point was in a small town at the start of thge road and we celebrated surving the worlds most dangerous road with a gorgeous buffet, cold beers and a swim in a really nice pool. The restaurant was actually in an animal sanctuary so Jack and I got to hang out with some monkeys and parrots for a few hours which was cool. All these monkeys had been rescued from the black market or saved from flats in La Paz so they were all super friendly and had been vaccinated against nasty things so we could hold them and shake hands with them. One little dude actually grabbed my hand with his tail and like led me away to his little hang out place where i was letting him swing off my arms and play with him. I was actually quite amazed at how strong their tails are, and the underside of their tails are the same as the palm of their hands, all rubbery with grip, it was quite incredible. So bike ride done, all happy, relieved, ready to go home and boast to our girlfriends about how manly we are, we have to get back on the bus. Back up the death road. Back up the same fricking road we had just cycled down!! So one minute you are like ´woah, glad that is done with´ tick, done, all that business and then they load you back in a rather decrpit mini bus and ferry you back up the same death route just to get you home!!! I swear, Jack and I were on edge for the entire two hour bus ride. We stupidly sat on the outer edge seats too so whenever the bus went along a really thin stretch, and our curiosity got the better of us forcing us to look out the window, my pasta buffet quickly rose up into my throat as we couldnt even see the road, just bus and then drop. I am not talking this up. I have a reasonably high threshold for extremeness and Jack is a pure Tasmanian extreme animal and even he looked like he might have to change his boxers when he got back.
Anyway, survive we did, and boast to Nat and Jess we did. Very proud and we have a t shirt each to prove it.
For the rest of the time in La Paz we hung out, ate some really good food, shopped at the witches markets and struggled for breath. The witches market is a street choic a block full of crafts andf clothing, and also baskets full of Lllama feoutuses....ii am not kididng, you just baskets full of dried up, shrivelled mini looking llamas, that are actually baby llamas ripped from the womb, dried and then sold. God knows that for, but i couldnt really think of anyone back home that would want one for Christmas. I did take a visit to the infamous San Pedro prison, where i was abruptly repramanded by a burly Bolivian copper for taking a photo, making me feel like a right tommy tourist in front of everonye. Lesson learnt, i was just glad they didnt throw me in there. We also found a cool cafe called 100% Natural, which was a god send as we all gorged on wholemeal salad rolls, praying that it would work some magic on binding together our otherwise loose bowls. I have to say, it is very amusing how how going to the toilet is such a topic of conversation in the travelling world. Over the last 3 weeks, we have got really close to Jack and Jess, sharing alot of stories, sharing dorms, sharing pretty much everything, but i swear we know more about each others daily bowel movements more than we know each others middle names. When eating breakfast, someone will go to the toilet and we we all wait with anticipation for them to come out, celebrating with each other when it has been a success and a thumbs up all round that ´it was kind of solid!´. Sorry if you are eating, or about to, but its a major discussion point and i am writing this as it is. We´ve all had some amazing colours too...OK, ENOUGH!!! ha ha!!
But i will say this...the 4 of us entered the hostel trivia night and there was a prize for the best team name. Over breakast that morning we were brainstorming and i casually said ´well we havent had a proper shit in the 3 weeks, so maybe that should be it´. We all agreed it was a name true to us all - Team Name: We havent had a proper shit in 3 weeks....and low and behold, come that evening, we were the proud winners of best team name, celebrating with a free round of shots! Yeah! Diaorhea came good!

So after 4 days in La Paz, the morning after the trivia night, and the shots, and the beers, and the wine, we headed off to the Amazon jungle in norther Bolivia for some nature and adventure. This was what i had been waiting for, for the last 6 weeks and for me was to be the highlight of our trip to south america! I just wasnt looking forward to getting in a 12 seater plane flying over mountain ranges, hungover to death!!

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