Just cuz you feel it doesnt mean its there (there there -Radiohead)


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Published: July 25th 2010
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Kind of a solemn day with little ups and mostly just feeling like a silent cruise along an open highway. My
appetite is back to normal and with so many options of what to do everything almost seems a bore, all I feel like doing is reading or writing. Reading is almost like a self induced movie. NO one is around at my house at the moment explanation will come later when discussing my day and the silence is almost welcoming. (no wrong ideas here im not suicidal or anything just discovering such a vast amount of everything in life at once its almost like a heavy burden.) Listening to radiohead which maybe the cause of my mood but still has to be one of the greatest bands ever and even to this point I am discovering songs I have never heard of before thanks to JOHN. Currently listening to inrainbows Disc 2? which I did not even know there was until today, amazing music, John said it helped him once in Austria. My writing is making more sense to me which is really interesting but I have always been writing about trips in journals and what not and even for newspapers so maybe practice makes perfect? Or Im getting worse. Either way one writer told me that writing was a curse which will always be with those no matter
what they try to do to let it go. And if your time comes and you find yourself writing then your a writer inevitably. Strange what just happened a few seconds ago someone it appeared was throwing rocks at my window and It was LUIS! Haha what a suprise was actually semi startled and he was looking for Daniellea whom came home short after. I remember John explaining to me an interesting concept which I believe will be an ongoing problem for me and I know I will spend a lifetime seeking the answer. (they say when you flip a coin in the air the chances are 50 50 that it will be either heads or tails but If when it lands one places a cup over it without looking at the outcome it is a 100 percent chance that it is heads or tails. The answer is already decided no more 50 50 chance about it. Answers could also vary If a coin is flipped and I know what the outcome is but you dont. Once again the answer is already embeded in the universe of time?) On another note IT amazed me how many people would just sleep through their college career and how many people here would nearly die to have a chance at a university as good as mine. How underappreciated everything was and probably still is.

This morning while walking downstairs Mirza turned the corner and scared the living hell out of me and shes lucky I didnt throw a punch. She said she was going to buy some PAn so I actually went back upstairs realizing there was no breakfast at the moment and layed back down in my bed but got up realizing Back tracking is always a mistake. This is something Ive learned recently that when making a wrong turn down some street, just go in more of a loop rather than backtrack and add new input to your collective conscience rather than go backwards retracing steps, you will never learn anything new. I cant even recall how many times Ive almost busted my foot on a rock or fallen on my face. They key is to watch where your going while always observing surroundings for you will see things youve never seen before even traveling the same route day after day. After making some what appears now a horrid meal (piece of bread with bread and honey) and tea I felt almost as good as I did day 4 after I had nearly completely adjusted to the 9000ft elevation. I was walking towards the 1st street that I normally hang
a right on then continue to the main street and go left when I heard a Car comming. I didnt even question it, stuck my hand out without knowing who it was and like I expected it was the 115 trufi and he gladly stopped. NOt going to lie, but this kind of instinct comes naturally cant really explain but its something I feel. I can feel when I am doing everything right almost like I am in perfect SYNC with the world and time itself. hard to explain. The truffi stops a little short of the institution to let someone off and I decide this is a good place to get off for a small walk couldnt hurt. I arrive at the institution fairly early and decide to head to the student center where there are 2 computers actively connected to the internet (VERY SLOW) and a TV with some form of cable so students can watch the BBC news broadcast. The 2 computers were taken and there was a very puzzling look on the elderlies who were using them. Aw..I said under my breath exclaiming that I was trying to use a computer. There was an older man and older woman and the woman said she was almost done. She left frustrated with the slowness and I decided best solution before testing out my new 8G USB drive was to reboot computer. I gave some advice to the elderly man to use FIREFOX instead of internet explorer which caused his comp to reach an all time
stall. Sorry man just trying to help, Mozilla firefox is actually like 100 times faster than internet explorer
so if you havent downloaded it on your computer I suggest you do. Well by the time my comp rebooted and conversing with others who entered the student center I had like 3 min before class and decided againt inserting my drive to see if my blogs would transfer from windows notepad. I decided to search google but when reached a point of uncertainty on what to search logged into my blog successfully and decided to respond to the first person I found who replied to anything I wrote. Nice, I think she appreciated it. I totally forgot to respond to everyone else today sorry got caught up blogging like 4 other entries and distracted by John searching up hostels around copacabana. Well after logging on successfully for a few minutes raced to class and caught pablo my classmate once again heading the same direction. We had our 2 classes a Break and 2 more classes nothing out of the ordinary. AFter class I headed directly to the student center to test out my USB drive and transfered all of my waiting blogs successfully. John was starting to plan vacation spots for us and I helped as best I could.
It appears at the end of the month we are hitting some jungle spot, before that the festival of URKUPINA, and maybe something next week as the weekend is free. Weve concluded that the both of us will be excellent travel companions considering we dont need grey hairs involved or conflicting attitudes (we need ones who will be willing to endure a 11hr bus ride). It is not only a test of patience but a test of strength and stamina. I even told John day 1 I believe that if we could endure these next 6 months we have the potential to do anything possible and will be able to go anywhere. Well after we were both being nagged on by hunger and decided to trade some music and what not at johns pad after lunch. I walked a bit parting ways from john at the main street circumvalacion where I went left and he went right and hopped on the 134 truffi after walking a bit. Daniellea had prepared me damit cant remember what it was called some sort of bean stew that mixed well with rice. I wondered where Mirza was for a moment but didnt ask. Instead kept mild conversation with daniellea and then went to my room after to either sleep or read some. John texted me in no time maybe after reading a few pages and I was on my way to his house with my computer in my backpack. This is always a risk I believe but Im a fairly big guy and am almost begging someone to try and take something from me but not really for I still take extreme precaution. one of the last texts from John said to hop on the 16 bus or 134 trufi then go 5 blocks or so past the school and look for an old busted out concrete building. Soon enough not walking too far I came across the 16 bus approaching and got on without question like I was a native myself. (I have concluded that when I get back from Bolivia lots of people are going to ask me what happened and Im going to say read my blog and end it there for trying to reach the feable mind of someone who wont leave california let alone venture into Los angeles would only frustrate me and leave me with questions of why I came back). When I got on the bus the doors were automatic which was something I hadnt experienced yet really or hadnt taken note of and I didnt pay at first. I wondered if I was supposed to pay when
I got on or when I got off like a trufi? Observing others pay the driver as soon as they got on I was now unsure how much to pay. I think its 1 boliviano so when I saw the bus driver look in the mirror at me I handed him one and he didnt utter a word. Well guess its 1 boliviano to ride the bus ha. Seeing the concrete building which looked like an afterwar artifact i realized that this was where I got off and I did. Crossed the street and before I knew it was at Johns front gate. I rang the door bell twice and was greeted by a Bolivian woman who looked at me a little puzzled probably because of my backpack and I claimed I was an amigo De john and John appeared to open the gate for me. Must have spent like 3 hrs or so at his pad exchanging files and music and have concluded that my 8Gig USB drive I bought off the streets is fairly corrupt and cant handle large files So it appears that this will be used for blog usage only. Well went home Via the 134 trufi and walked up my street and that was when Mirza left to visit her uncle who was in the hospital whom I thought at the time also left with Daniellea but apparenly she didnt go with. Also note when walking up the street to my house after Trufi ride I wasnt really paying attention but apparently I scared some bolivian girl around my age and didnt notice until I saw her running away from me? Maybe she thought I was following too close which I actually found quite comical. Am I really that scary? Every woman to some extent seems to run or avoid me which could be a good thing in the end I even think one girl turned lesbian because of how crazy my mind works kind of funny. Ive been alone more than half my life so being alone doesnt affect me like it probably does the average person. Its really awkward taking note of how Daniellea and Luis look into each others eyes maybe its because theyre older and understand each other? Never witnessed that between 2 people before. I recall having one person in particular I could relate to and would even talk to for hours
like this but.. Its like the only thing I wanted to do was have coffee with her and talk about something that wasnt about us...
Then came a huge semi that just spilled out the most horrific gas/smoke and I was convinced might have actually been on fire itself. LIterally must have polluted all of calle circumvalacion de bejing. I started making an old fashion quesadilla which Mirza found amazing at my craftwork considering I didnt put it in the microwave. I even then blew her mind even more when I scrambled up and egg and made like a quesadilla/egg taco. O yea tastes like something at home. A small part of the reason why I left was everyone kept telling me stories of someone I know dying or getting ill, or I was even witnessing people throw their lives away but all those ideas that are entailed just follow one no matter where one leaves or plans to go. There no escaping the dullness of life it is more of a balance with everything that strikes one with awe.

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26th July 2010

We are very lucky to go to the school we go to.. I'm sure now it is easy to appreciate it even more. Oh FYI I still think internet explorers is much faster than firefox! lol! By the way I came to realize that Bolivian people eat a lot of Pan!ha ha! So don't feel bad that u get bored or sick of it! Well keep on enjoying your amazing adventure!
26th July 2010

FIREFOX!!!
sorry but firefox is way faster and your not going to win that argument haha like fact versus opinion. Yea i dunno the orphanges and hospitals and such really messed me up...never want to go to a hospital again and Ive realized that doctors are true heroes. BTw I think my massive headache was from the pills they gave me literally felt like my head was expanding to a soon explosion haha Party was awesome except they kept blasting music kept me up super late and they made me dance boooo!haha weird spanish bolivian dance music but were going to some huge folk music festival at end of august cant wait! and so much pan after pan after pan after pan lol -thanks for reading hmm...does your padre speak english??? kinda need to know before I write...Miss you along with alot of people, this place is really amazing but some aspects can make me really depressed...
27th July 2010

I know the dances could be weird! But they are interesting.. Um yeah my dad does speak english! Of course, I've told u my spanish could be bad.. :/ I only communicate with him in english.. Boo! Well keep on enjoying it over there and hope u learn some dances!ha ha!

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