BA Pt. 2 - Relaxing down by the River (Plate)


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April 10th 2010
Published: April 14th 2010
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Chicken oriental
viernes, 9 de abril
The day began not too early thanks to jetlag, but early enough to take advantage of the free croissants and coffee. With just a few days in BA we knew that opportunity to see an Argentine football match (the ´real´Argentina - most likely because it´s the rare occasions Argentines get drunk, it´s frowned upon here) was limited, and tours to the BOMBONERA and MONUMENTAL only ran Tuesdays and Fridays (sh*t! today!) so it was today or never (or option C where Hayley leaves me and I move here).

The stadium tours run as a single tour, although if you miss one you can still do the later one. Our slumber saved Hayley a whole day of football. This meant the MONUMENTAL, home of River Plate, would be our only option. Of the two I was happy since Boca Juniors is the home of Maradona and was bound to be a shrine to him. He can put the ´hand of God´up the ´arse of God´, raised as I was that Maradona was a cheat and NOT a legend! Ortega, Aimar, Kempes, Pasarella; more than adequate compensation.

Before our tour we took a long walk through the city. We are staying in San Telmo; bordering Boca and is at the poorer side of the city. The streets are all on a grid and lined with dogsh*t. Everybody seems to own a dog here - when you don´t have to worry about the worst bit of owning one then why wouldn´t you? Make sure you don´t take in your surroundings too much, a simple twist of the neck invariably will result in an episode gagging over a sink with your girlfriend´s toothbrush. We headed underground to the Subte, a ridiculous ARG$1.1 for a single. That´s about 18p (or 25p if you bank with Natwest). At that price it´s no wonder the whole experience is akin to how we imagine that of the short life of a Burger King cow is, squashed in as we were.

The MONUMENTAL is called thus because it´s so friggin´ big. The locals joke that it´s a "monument to concrete" (what? when have you ever heard of an Argentine stand-up?). The museum tour began with an over-elaborate time-machine complete with vibrating floor and lung clogging smoke. Apparently the museum budget was used up because the plaques translating the remainder of the museum into English hadn´t gone into production (self-absorbed what?). Luckily we´d paid our pesos for an English-speaking guide.

The stadium tour included taking seats in the President´s box, the media room and out on to the pitch to survey the 72,000 capacity from down below. Apparently it held 115,000 for the ´78 World Cup final and was famous for military dictator General Jorge Videla jumping up in elation at Mario Kempes´ goal. All in all the whole thing was about four hours. Our guide said I should tie Hayley down for such devotion; her wrists are just way too thin. What little was left of our day was spent walking the Avenida Florida; BA´s Khao San Road. Shops flank either side of the walk - newspaper kiosks, buskers and the mentally ill blocking any straight passage down the middle. Of all the shops, 1/5th sold football shirts, 1/5th sweaters, 1/5th are in ´liquidacion´ (although our guide said this was "bullsheeeet") and the remainder...McDonalds.

Another famous stadium crossed off, another favour owed to Hayley. At least she didn´t say this one wasn´t "as impressive as the Emirates". I swore I saw the Maracana cry after that one...

sabado, 10 de
EvaEvaEva

My camera got stolen that's why there are no Hayley shots
abril
Another day, another high 20s scorcher. Just me and Hayley wearing shorts though. Surely these mentals don´t think it´s cold?

We were clipped on the nose the previous night by Argentine politics; a huge demonstration outside the Obelisco on Avenida de Corrientes and Avenida 9 de Julio diverting our journey home. It looked peaceful enough, fireworks and traffic disruption being the main characteristics. Either way it caused us to yearn for more knowledge of Argentine history and we filled it with Museo Evita, rightly or wrongly.

The museum was significantly cheaper than the Museo River and this time with English translation. It was, however, vaguer than an alcoholic´s memory. It seemed to have implied knowledge about the political backdrop behind the woman, perhaps we should have visited the Juan Peron museum first except for the fact in a city of a thousand museums we´re buggered if we can find one. The exhibits which recorded the creation of a social system, got women the vote and built a city for orphans didn´t explain why some hated Eva and left a puzzled expression as to why her face lays smashed up in its resting place. First thing when we get home is that Madonna film.

Our lesson in confusion didn´t take more than a couple of hours and this heat is a shame to waste. We set off to the huge park in Palermo on the North side of the city. Palermo and Palermo Viejo are the more affluent parts of the city where we had stayed two years prior. No dustbin bags line the pavement here and who knows where the dogs do their business. It´s nice to have clean feet. There´s no fear that the corner of a building is going to drop off onto you here. The park itself wasn´t that busy for a Saturday, we sat near a group of pensioners playing football - no lie they would be able to have caught a free bus home. It´s like a scene from one of those olive spread adverts, one of them even did a handstand. Sunshine makes you live longer. Fact.

We toured back home via the Jardin Botanico and Placa D´Italia with a healthy lunch of empanadas in between (Hayley lives for these, though forever compares them to some amazing ones we had at Iguazu bus station). A man tried to sell us scissors on the Subte.

Just three days into our South American trail and already we have eaten enough cheese to squeeze three cows dry. Argentines coat dinners in the stuff, even the laughing cow has been renamed the tired and overworked cow here, such is the relentless devouring of it. I am surprised at how quick Hayley has developed a sense of superiority over South Americans. In response to a situation where a crowd dominated her path she used the phrase "we are their economy". Of course she just meant a little courteousness would be nice for visiting tourists, but was still funny to pretend she thinks she should be Queen over here when clearly she doesn´t.

Long bus next...

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14th April 2010

Photos
Apologies the internet connections are slow down here, photos will be put on when we find one that can actually take it (none of Chris´s til he can find a cable though the idiot).
16th April 2010

Tone it Jayj
Howdi. hope you both have a cracking time and keep us updated with your banter filled blogs. Although Bully, whats this statement all about in your intro: "We've both had our boozy trips to Australia, now for something a little more adult (and hopefully a little less racist). " !?!?! I know we had to tell Jonny to tone it a few times back in 06 but he wasn't that bad!
16th April 2010

Jonny the racist
I dunno he said some pretty bad things.
19th April 2010

Triple O
Yes Mike, that was out of order. I think we had to tell Tony to tone it more than anyone! Very jealous so far and your only in BA! Lucky for you your not here in the UK - I had a strawberry gateux, a garlic bread and some dody chicken drumsticks land on my head this morning due to the fallout from Iceland! :-) Have fun and put some photos up will you x

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