Missing Moms Might Make Us Miss Memorial Day Mass

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We awoke early confused about the time as our cell phones were reporting that it was 7:45am and there is no easy way to look outside of an inside cabin. These smart phones are supposed to be, but they had reverted to Eastern Time (their home position) as they were roaming for but not finding service. This was to be a nice leisurely day at sea, and Sharon and I reviewed the Daily Schedule to pick out things for us and our mothers. High Tea popped out as a must for Shirley, though I may have a hard time living up to Shirley’s other son-in-law Dennis in this regard. He has the sole responsibility to escorting Shirley to tea on previous cruises they have shared. Sharon’s not even sure if I have his permission to go with her mother. Sharon called her mom at 7am to make sure she would be ready for the 8am mass in the Queen’s Lounge. The phone evidently startled her from sleep, because she answered the phone by asking “Where am I?” I gathered this from Sharon’s response “You’re on the cruise, Mom.” We showered and dressed and at about a quarter to eight, Sharon knocked on her mother’s door in the cabin next to ours. My mom answered, somewhat startled, and we discovered that Shirley had gone to get us. But, in fact, she went on to mass herself though the ship is a big enough to be a bit confusing. I’m sure her brother’s last words of our safe arrival call were echoing through Sharon’s mind, “Don’t lose mom overboard.” Okay, she was only lost, for now. We walked the perimeter of our Upper Promenade Deck, but couldn’t find her or anyone who had seen her. When I returned to our cabin, I hadn’t come across Sharon either, and my mother wasn’t responding to knocks on the door or phone calls. Sharon did show up, after having checked the Queen’s Lounge on the chance that Shirley had found her way to mass. I finally went to the front desk to report a missing woman and they asked if I was Mr. Good, which I thought was probably a good sign. They said that Shirley was in the Queen’s Lounge waiting for mass. I then found Sharon trying to call me, and we both found her mother sitting on the aisle. I borrowed her room key, and went back to the cabins to check on my mom. I don’t think she would go out looking for Shirley, but you never know with mothers. As it turns out, she had just been taking a shower. So this is how our nice leisurely uneventful day at sea with our mothers started out. And we haven’t even had breakfast yet.



Sharon and her mom stayed for mass; while, I went back to our cabins to see if my mom was there.



My mom had just finished taking her shower when I returned. She said she had slept well, after finishing the rest of the wine (about three-quarters of the bottle). It seems we may not have bought quite enough wine for her, she claimed she normally likes to take just one glass to fall asleep on. I guess it’s hard to fall asleep while there’s still wine in the bottle. I decided to skip mass and get a start on the blog. When Sharon and her mom returned, we all went for breakfast in the Vista Dining Room. I decided on the French Toast with sausage and a hash brown cake. My mom went with the waffle with strawberries. Shirley also wisely chose French Toast, and Sharon had her standard American Breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, hash brown cake and white toast. Even though Sharon had requested crispy bacon, it leaned heavily to the wimpy variety. Shirley of course had hot tea, and again they came with her favorite Lipton.



We made it up to the Crow’s Nest to participate in the Brain Teasers Challenge. The gal passing out quiz sheets warned that the first question was particularly difficult and not to waste too much time on it… you only have about twelve minutes to finish the six “Minute Mysteries” questions. The first question was “Matt and Amy were lying dead in the middle of their apartment and the window was open. All that was around them was some broken glass, a puddle of water and a baseball. What happened?” I thought I might have an idea for this one, and Sharon supported it, I think because she didn’t have a better one. I was sure that I knew the answer to the fifth question: “A man is given a chance to be set free or to be executed. In front of him are two doors. One is the door to the parole office where he will be set free. The other is the door to the gas chamber where he will be executed. In front of each is a guard who happen to be twins. He knows that one guard always lies; while, the other guard always tells the truth… but he doesn’t know which is which. He is allowed to ask one question of one guard only. What should he ask to get his freedom?” The final question most people got right was “A man was driving with his son when his car crashed into an electrical pole. The father was killed, but the boy was rushed to the hospital. The surgeon said, ‘Sorry, I can’t operate. This boy is my son.’ How is this possible?” When she asked for ideas for the first question, I raised my hand, and suggested “Matt and Amy are fish…” at which she gave me a high five, explaining to the rest that a ball flew through the open window, striking and breaking the fish bowl that contained the goldfish Matt and Amy. The team next to us suggested for the prisoner question to ask one prisoner if the other one is a liar… but I’m not sure what that will buy you because the answer will always be “Yes.” I proposed to ask one guard “What door will the other guard tell me is the door to my freedom?” Then go through the other door. Our team got the most mysteries solved (three), so we won the truly exception prize of Holland America Lines pins.



We made our way to the Culinary Arts Center for the Cooking Show detailing some of the secrets of Alaskan cooking. One dish was bread pudding and the only association I can figure for Alaska is that bread pudding is very popular aboard HAL cruises to Alaska. The second dish was halibut and a sauce that sounded wonderful… I can see Sharon rolling her eyes and thinking that she was thankful that they passed around bread pudding samples and not fish samples. This, not being Lent, is a time of year that Sharon and fish don’t see eye to eye… and I’m not sure even then, though she does eat at the Fish Fries of St. Mary’s Church back home where we volunteer as the cashiers.



It was time for lunch, and we requested a table for four. Sharon and Shirley ordered the Swiss Steak, while my mom chose the barbeque pulled pork sandwich with spicy cole slaw. I wisely chose the coconut crusted tilapia. Sharon started with the cold pear soup. I had the Thai mango chicken salad with Naan bread as my appetizer and corn and crab chowder for my second course, both of which I thoroughly enjoyed; although, the so-called Naan bread really was a hard bread stick which I can only assume was a rolled up piece of stale Naan bread. For our desserts, I thought the vanilla Napolean was delicious, Shirley liked her blueberry sundae, Sharon made do with chocolate ice cream, and my mother had one of her favorites apple pie (though she didn’t think it measured up to hers).



It was nearly time for Team Trivia when we finished, so I rushed up to the Crow’s Nest to find a spot, while Sharon and the moms took a more leisurely pace. Amazingly, I grabbed a spot right in the front of the ship by the window. As I sat down, a couple from South Carolina came over, and I invited them to join our team, which seemed to be full with six people. Fortunately, they were about ten minutes late getting started, but we were five questions into the game when they did arrive. When they did, the guy that joined our team noted, “Are these your daughters?” I already had answered what the world’s oldest dice game is (backgammon). On the sheet that we graded, they had answered Yahtzee. And everyone knows that hemoglobin carries the oxygen in blood. Sharon correctly guessed that red is the color of food never used in Ancient Greece. And Shirley threw out “Six” as the number of states in Australia (we knew it was between 1 and 10, but not 1 or 10). We got that one right too. It came down to the bonus question: “What tennis player is known as the A-Train?” I must confess to be deeply embarrassed for missing this one. Our teammate threw out Arthur Ashe, while Sharon suggested Andre Agassi. Secretly I was leaning towards Pete Sampras, but both of their answers seemed much better for this question. I’ll leave it to you to guess which answer I sided with. Okay, so I violated one of the most important tenants of Husbandry-101, which is to say “Yes Dear” and always agree with your wife. She’s threatening to enroll me in a refresher course. We came in second, losing by one point (the two-point bonus would have put us over the top). We had to put down a team name and when the guy from South Carolina asked what our team name was, I informed him that I had written down “My Three Daughters”.



Sharon and I chose to skip the free wine and cheese tasting that we were entitled to for her 4-star status. It was already past 2pm when trivia ended, because of its late start. We later heard that it was wonderful from those leaving the Vista Dining Room as we were waiting to enter for High Tea. This event was chosen for Shirley. We had to go up to the top level of the dining room, as the wine tasting was leaving from below. There was an incredibly long line. Sharon thought that there might be ten or eleven people total, but there were two lines snaking down the halls on both sides, and we waited well past the start time before we were allowed to enter. When we finally got in, a substantial spread was just beyond the door, that people where choosing from. I highly recommend the Almond Cookie, unlike any that I’ve ever had. The cinnamon marzipan pastry was also great. At the end there was a pastry shell that they were pouring mushroom-chicken gravy into, and that was excellent also. I was thinking that this is just what I need, and additional high-calorie eating event prior to my attempt to get into my formal night duds later today. I already had to abandon my wedding/cruising tux because the pants no longer fit prior to the trip. Sharon thought her cinnamon tea tasted like hot water. Shirley seemed to enjoy the extra tea event, but I’m sure that she misses Dennis (her other son-in-law).



We went to play in the $20,000 jackpot Bingo. Truthfully, I’ve never seen so many people assembled to play in a Bingo tournament aboard a HAL ship. The basic prizes turned out to be $300, $400, $500 and $880 for each of the four games. I’d never before seen the first prize to be more than $200! And the last game might sometimes reach $500, but not usually. Alex Bling the Bingo King who was running the game said he’d never seen the prizes work out to even amounts like this. I’m wondering if $300, $400 and $500 might not be the maximum limits in the prize formula for those games, I’m just saying. On our Veendam South American/Antarctica cruise in Jan, Alex Bling the Bingo King was known as DJ Alex, and it is a pure pleasure to be on a cruise with him… we have many great memories from that cruise due to the comic gems that he brought to the various entertainment venues that he played key parts in. He also calls a pretty good game of Bingo complete with his “Stupid Jokes”. When I purchased our tickets, I asked him when he came North to Alaska, remembering him from our time in Antarctica, and noting how much we loved his two humpback whales in a bar joke. He thanked me, and said I might have to endure that again. We look forward to that. Sharon and Shirley each played a 3-pack. My mom didn’t want to play, so I got a 6-pack and agreed to split prizes with her. I also bought her a bonus 3-card for $5 for the jackpot game only for her to play. She had said no, but I think she really meant yes. Mothers are always saying “No” to their children, and the children always think that they’re saying “Yes”! The first game was bang- bang with a very fast bingo. We weren’t even close. The second game was any bingo not using the Free-Space. That one went very fast too. The third game was the four corners only. I got to stand; but, there were already twenty others standing. I didn’t have to stand for long, and I wasn’t jumping up and down when it was done. $500 would have been a very nice prize. Sharon and I are suffering through quite a dry spell, including three weeks in the Southern Hemisphere with very low Bingo attendance. Remember that there was a very large Mormon group on that cruise, which really suppressed Casino and Bar revenues for HAL on that cruise, and I guess, unlike Catholics, they must not play much Bingo either. My mom got closest on the black-out card, needing just three numbers. The lady who called Bingo first had the humiliation of finding out that she really had a Bongo. A couple calls later we had the real winner, and it wasn’t anyone in our group.



It was time to get dressed for formal dining. And I was right; although, I was able to get into my suit pants, there was no way I would make it through dinner with them. Sharon agreed that my tan pants would work, and now I’m getting worried. When I tried them on before the trip, they were nice and loose fitting. That’s no longer the case. I ordered the jumbo shrimp cocktail with a spicy cilantro sauce; and, Sharon ordered a Vietnamese spring roll (for me). The shrimp was truly great. I wasn’t sure that I’d like a sauce that wasn’t your typical cocktail sauce with horseradish (lots of horseradish), but this was excellent. And I also enjoyed the vegetable spring roll and the sauce it was served with. Sharon tried the watermelon gazpacho, while I had the chicken consommé with lemon grass and bamboo shoots. My mother opted for the daily French Onion soup, which she said was “Okay” and as Sharon and I know, that’s mother’s PC-speak for something she didn’t like very much. She liked the taste and broth, just not the way the bread in the broth made it hard for her to eat. My three table-mates went off the special menu, and each chose the Sirloin Steak off of the daily menu. Shirley ordered it medium-well. My mom ordered it medium-well. Sharon at least ordered it medium; although, hers looked closer to medium-well. The moms found their meat tough and difficult to cut. I could only roll my eyes and shake my head. My mother never orders meat medium-well. I ordered the peppered-tenderloin, and it was so tender that you could cut it with a fork. It was delicious, and lightly peppered, and it probably would have been found to be delicious by my table-mates. It was served with spinach and beans. At least they enjoyed a nice baked potato. During the soup I spotted chocolate soufflés on the way to a nearby table, and announced that I saw what we were having for dessert, telling Sharon “They have Chocolate Tonight!” Our server evidently heard this, and later, when we were ordering from the dessert menu, the server would repeat what we had ordered, saying “Tiramisu”, smiling of course. The soufflés were served with chocolate sauce, which was delicious, and I think the dessert saved the meal for our mothers (and for Sharon too.) I ordered the Daily Cordial “Hazel Eyes” made from Frangelica, Irish Cream and Kahlua. It went well with the soufflé.



We went to the Vista Lounge for the 8:00pm show. Tonight’s presentation of HAL’s Garage featured the ship’s male and female vocalists in scores of renditions, including a set from the Beach Boys, and a very entertaining bit sung to “A Little Old Lady from Pasadena” where one of the male performers dressed up as a little old lady race around the stage on a disability scooter. The show made frequent use of the rotating stage, trap door, and hydraulic lift options available on this ship, but not on the smaller HAL ships.



After the show, Sharon and Shirley went to the Piano Bar. I escorted my mom back to her cabin. She had planned to go with me to the Piano Bar, but after using the rest room, she decided to call it day. I told her not to drink all of the wine. I met up with Sharon and Shirley in the corner of the tightly packed Piano Bar where they had managed to get seats for us. They were in the middle of a Name That Tune and Movie. I stayed until the end of the game, and even managed to contribute the name to one song. Sharon will never live down coming up with It had to be you but not remembering that it was the theme song of her favorite movie “When Harry Met Sally” (she knew it was Meg Ryan and put Sleepless in Seattle).



I decided this might be a good time to play some blackjack. The $5 minimum bet single-deck table pays blackjack at 6:5 (instead of the normal 3:2). It was empty, but I won’t play with that much of an edge for the house. I found another $5 table, but it was the “Fun-21” and it only pays blackjack even-money. I decided that there was no choice but to play at the $10 table. Things started pretty well, I was winning more than I was losing. Then I lost three hands in a row, in which I had very good hands. And then I started getting really bad hands, and was losing those as well. Normally, I would have pulled back to $5 at this point, but I was stuck with the $10 minimum. It was a very cold ten or eleven hand losing streak. It stabilized some, and eventually I began to win two hands in a row again. I decided to press the bets a bit. I won a $50 double down (and the dealer obligingly busted) and things seemed to be turning in my favor. I then played a small parlay into a seven hand winning streak. When I finally lost, the dealer commented “Nice run.” I decided to call it a night, and was $90 up. I don’t know what the cashier was thinking when I cashed in and was about $100 short. Hopefully he was just new, and at least the chips were still there on the counter. I had one bad experience in Vegas when the cashier palmed two green chips and I ended up losing what I had just won at the tables.



I found Sharon and Shirley still in the piano bar, but now I had to squeeze in between them. I decided now would be a good time to try a drink I had spotted on the menu in the Ocean’s Bar, A Frosty Chocolate Mint Something-or-Other. The bar waiter knew what I meant, but they weren’t set up to make it there. He did however manage to order and get me one from the other bar, and that was really much appreciated. It was pretty much what I expected, a chocolate mint frappe. I couldn’t really detect much alcohol, I could on the first sip, but not after that. And it really is more of a milkshake or frappe. For a couple bucks less you can get it non-alcoholic. Still, I enjoyed it. It really is great how the crew members go that extra mile to make your trip extra enjoyable. When I finished my drink, and it took a while because my straw kept getting clogged (I eventually dispensed with the straw altogether), we retired back to our cabins, and decided to call it a very-long-day.



The answer to the final question, of course, is that the surgeon is the boy’s mother. Sharon noted that it would have been really poor form if we had missed that question since we were sitting with our mothers.

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