Why Geezers Shouldn’t Order Princess Cake on Sea Days (or any other day)

---

I had to give Sharon a “Thirty-Minute Warning” as the time for mass approached. I had gotten up early to write the blog. It didn’t look like she was going to budge; but, once she started moving, there was no stopping her. I must have been “in the zone” because I was still typing when she returned, and I still hadn’t showered yet. So now I needed to get moving.

The morning was not all that full of idle time. There were important things to do, such as: putting the laundry away, filling a new bag with laundry, eating breakfast, doing Sudoku, attending a lecture… all before having lunch. And you know what the nice thing about this on a cruise ship? Somebody else brings you the finished laundry, somebody else does the laundry, somebody else makes the breakfast, somebody else has provided us with Sudoku sheets and somebody else is actually able to entertain us with a lecture. We breakfasted in the Lido and this morning I had Eggs Benedict and Sharon had some eggs, toast and a big chocolate croissant.

Stuart Sutherland was giving another of his lectures, and all onboard are abuzz about “The Scotsman’s Lecturers.” I’ve heard quite a few women saying, “Oh, isn’t he wonderful!” I’m assuming that they like what he’s saying and the energetic presentations for which he’s becoming popular; although, he does have that Sean Connery thing going on too! Today’s talk started out on the Svalbard Global Seed Vault; although, his talk focused on biodiversity and the periodic mass extinction events that are part of Earth’s history. There are some who postulate that we are currently in a mass extinction event; although, Stuart did say that personally he did not think that that was the case. Such an event requires the extinction of 20%!o(MISSING)f life on earth across all biospheres. The largest such event was the one that killed the dinosaurs when 50%!o(MISSING)f life was snuffed out. Stuart noted that if we were currently in a mass extinction event we wouldn’t be concerned with trying to save species such as Pandas and Tigers and Blue Whales. No, we’d be worried about creatures like rats and racoons and pigeons. Again, the time seemed to pass in a blink of an eye. Later at Trivia, Duncan noted that if he’d had a professor like Stuart when he took Geology, he might have found that subject more interesting.

We found a table between the pool and bar; and, first we did our daily Sudoku challenge. I finished slightly ahead; but, likely only because she was checking the illegible scrawls on her sheet. She said something like, “I think that we should call this one a tie, don’t you Dear.” Not being so new as I once was at this hubby-gig my answer came without thinking, “Yes, Dear.” Then she asked another question, which I realized required something more than a “Yes, Dear,” response. “Are we crazy?” I think that she throws these in sometimes just to see if I’m paying attention. The context of this question is: We’re on our longest cruise so far, with a slightly longer one booked next year in the South Pacific, and we’ve been considering booking on the World Cruise 2020. Such a consideration needs to be measured by some other cruises/vacations that we’ve been considering. At the top of Sharon’s Bucket List is to go on safari in Africa, as her sister Erin did a couple years back. And we want to go to Antarctica again. I’ve never been to Brazil and I want to see the Iguazu Falls. It looks like we’ll be able to do all of these on this World Cruise. So, my response is, “No, I think we can do this.” Sharon raises an eyebrow and we agree to check out the Future Cruise Desk. Sharon held our table while I went and found lunch in the Lido, this time a pork belly sandwich (something new) which I found quite tasty. Sharon scrunched her nose in a disgusted manner, “Too much fat.” I told her that they were serving roast turkey and leg of pork; but, when she came back she said they were only serving pork. She got another burger at the Dive-In and fries; which, I think is only the second or third time so far on this cruise.

Our team showed up and we had already staked a claim to “Our Spot”. Sharon had stopped off at the spa and made an appointment for after Trivia to get her bangs trimmed. She hates it when they hang down to where she can see them. The Captain came over the PA and provide an update following the crew’s significant effort to completely contaminate the ship. Evidently, there were quite a few quarantined passengers who decided that it was okay for them to go onshore at Reykjavik; and, even went out on bus tours with others. I believe the Captain’s words were “This is unacceptable,” although it was difficult to hear him clearly up in the Crow’s Nest. Either way, it is unacceptable. If you ask me, I would have no trouble if he decided not to allow quarantined people back on the ship. And if you think about it, why should he? But when you think about it, there were no consequences for people on quarantined walking about the ship; so, why should they expect there to be consequences for people who have so flagrant disregard for others that they get off and risk infecting so many others. At this point, I would not be surprised if Rotterdam (the city) quarantined the Rotterdam (the ship). It was no surprise then that there were more new cases.

Linda wanted to know the names of Disney princes. “Who were the princes in the Disney films “Sleeping Beauty” and “Cinderella”. I jotted down “Charming” and we had one of them (do you know which one?). The room had all sorts of answers for the second prince: Prince Valiant, Prince Adam, Prince Naveen and The Prince. We needed to wait until the answer session to discover the name of the other: “Prince Phillip”. Sharon and Pam blurted out the answer right away for, “What body part is it that frogs and toads do NOT have, that all other amphibians do have?” I was stuck on thinking about the differences between frogs and toads; which is, one of them has teeth. The answer, when you think about it, is the obvious answer: “Tails”. Linda seemed to be pitching questions right into Sharon’s sweet spot. Next she spoke, “There are some movie phrases, that when you hear them, immediately invoke the particular movie (if you’ve seen the movie; and, especially if it has something to do with sex).” The answer is Sharon’s favorite movie! “What movie immortalized the line, ‘I’ll have what she’s having.’” The line was delivered by a diner in a restaurant played by the actual mother of Rob Reiner, the director of the movie which saw Meg Ryan playing Sally who was showing her date Harry as they had dinner in the restaurant how easy it is for a woman to fake an orgasm. The movie of course is, “When Harry Met Sally”. Let me apologize now, and for any other time, that I use “of course”. A college professor we met on this cruise lamented that he is no longer permitted to use “of course” in his lectures because its just not PC and endangers students getting inferiority complexes. I’m sorry; but, it’s just the way I talk, of course. What’s the world coming too? Linda took great care to word the question the way that she did so that she wouldn’t get the answer “elephant”. “Elephants are pachyderms, of course; but, what does pachyderm mean?” Duncan wrote down “Skin” which we all got from the “Derm” part; and, as an afterthought he added “Thick” in front of it. Rose Marie kept suggesting “Wrinkled” and Jim was ambivalent between “Thick” or “Wrinkled”. I just had no idea so I wasn’t saying much. Duncan changed our answer to “Wrinkled”. Alas, it was “Thick”. It might come down to the five point bonus, one point each for the countries with the most UNESCO sites (you don’t need to list them in order). We did get the top two sites in order: “Italy and China.” Just not the right order. We had “Greece” as our top pick, and then there was a lot of consternation before we came up with “UK and Turkey”. The correct list and order was Italy, China, Spain, France and Germany. We got 12 out of a possible 21, breaking 50%!a(MISSING)gain; but, three points shy of first place.



I went back to the cabin while Sharon went to get her hair cut. Her stylist had just boarded the ship in Reykjavik. She was from England and this is her first time on a ship but she is looking forward to the next 9 months of traveling onboard. It took a while for Sharon to realize that when she was mentioning Fringe it was really her bangs. But she did a good job at trimming both Sharon’s hair and the bangs and styling it for Gala Night.

We went off to $7,000 Jackpot Bingo at 4PM. Nino called four games of bingo. The first the standard single regular bingo game, and the second the four corners. Nino explained/apologized for the short four corner game, saying, he has only a fixed amount of time to keep on schedule. The third game was a longer game, any horizontal bingo. And the final game was the jackpot blackout game. We both came soooo close; but, no cigar. Sharon came within one on the blackout; but, I guess it wouldn’t be good form for her to win that game two times in a row.

This is a gala night. I told Sharon that the crowds at the Dining Room have leveled out, and I didn’t think there would be a line when they opened for dinner at 5:15PM; but, Sharon wasn’t so sure. There was only one couple ahead of us. I was already unbuttoning my coat as we approached the table and Sharon quips, “Getting a bit tight, is it.” I’m thinking, not even two weeks into the cruise and already my new jacket is snug. “It was born tight,” I replied. I asked Sharon to order the Mushroom Crostini for me. I wanted to get both the Jumbo Shrimp Cocktail with Pineapple Sauce and the Forbidden Rice Soup. I think Sharon is testing me again, she asks me as I’m talking to the lady next to me, “I think I want this appetizer, right Dear?” Out of the corner of my eye I catch her pointing at the foie gras. “Nooo. Not that,” I correct, and I point her to the item at the bottom left side of the menu. I enjoyed the lobster tail, even though it was only half of what I enjoyed at the Sel de Mer. Sharon ordered the Filet Oscar. I’d been explaining to the lady to my left that “Oscar” meant served with asparagus (or asparagus on top). She did enjoy her steak. There were no “acceptable chocolate” desserts. Sharon doesn’t count Chocolate Cheesecake as an acceptable chocolate dessert; so, we both wound up ordering the Coconut Lime Souffle with Vanilla Sauce. Sharon hates coconut as well (of course); but, I convinced her that it probably would mostly be an overwhelming vanilla-like flavor. I probably shouldn’t have crawled out that far on a whim. When it came, Sharon demanded, “Will I like it?” as I tasted mine. An overpowering coconut taste was growing bitter on my tongue, and I admitted, “Maybe… not.” She managed a couple of spoonfuls. Personally, I loved this dessert.

We were in time for the show, in fact it was barely past 7PM. Sharon went to see if the buffaloes were stampeding since it was Non Smoking Night in the Casino. I watched a full table of Fun-21 for a bit, which was dragging terribly slow, and I was thankful that I wasn’t playing. I told Sharon that I would save us a seat, and with forty-five minutes to go I pretty much had my choice of seats. Fifteen minutes later there were just a few seats together in the upper section, and when Sharon arrived a woman right in front of her plopped down in the seat beside me. I was engrossed in my “Word Crack” game so much, I almost didn’t notice her; except that she jostled me quite a bit, so I turned to her saying, “You’re not Sharon.” “I beg your pardon?” she says. “You’re not my wife, she’s sitting there?” “Then your wife should be here,” she declared defiantly. “My wife is here,” I said, and I pointed smiling at Sharon who was smiling back at me. She vanished as Linda came on to announce the show. Tonight’s performer was Greta Salóme, is an Icelandic singer, songwriter, and violinist in the Icelandic Symphony Orchestra. I thought that she would be a concert violinist; but, it turns out that she is a fiddle-player. She came out and promised to try and beat her world record for the pace and vigor that she performed her first piece. She warned us that she’s broken a couple bows, some strings, and even a violin try to top previous performances. She started with “Orange Blossom Special”. She got really into it, as did the audience, and at the end she apologized, “This has never happened before. I’ve never broken a string on a cruise ship!” And so just as vibrantly as the show started, it took a ten-minute intermission while she went back to her cabin to change the string. After she returned, she admitted, that after putting on the new string, a second string broke, so it had taken her a little extra time. She played for us what she called her most difficult piece; which was her rendition of “Pop Goes the Weasel”. It had a bit more pace and flare than those wind up toys as she played with the bow behind her back, under her legs, and lastly with her foot. And she also entertained us with some songs.

I was too tired to play blackjack after the show; besides, the table was still crowded, and somebody was still in my favorite spot. I walked by the piano bar where Sharon was talking to some of the others so decided that was another reason to get back to the cabin, to get out of these fancy duds. Sharon said it was another night for a session of Ascertain That Tune. This one was all songs that included a girl or woman’s name in the title and you had to have the whole title not just the name. There were 2 couples with 19 who had to do the Bid a Not tie-breaker. 2 other couples tied with 18. The couple Sharon was sitting with had won 3^rd place in the previous game with the Bid A Note tiebreaker but got 13 on this night. Sharon had to play by herself but got what she thought was a respectable 15 out of 20. While they were going thru the answers the Waiters came around with the “Chocolate Surprise” but only 2 of them made it to the corner where Sharon was sitting before their trays were empty. Sharon passed on the first one (a brownie with nuts on top) assuming they’d be back with more. She did finally get a white chocolate krispies stick but that was it. She’ll have to remember to sit in a closer spot on the next leg of the cruise.

---