Queenstown Part the First

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Neither Mike nor I had activities planned for the morning so we had a much needed sleep in. Dave on the other hand just HAD to get up and have some amazing life experiences on the glacier. We’ve learned that like most in their late teens, he’s not much of morning person. “Good morning Dave!” we’d say. “Mrrhrrhrrhrr” Dave would reply, sounding like Sideshow Bob after stepping on a rake. While he was up on the glacier, I finished writing my last entry on the pub balcony. Mike and I were then joined by Helen, Georgie, Izzy, and Lara for morning coffee and a walk down the glow worm path. The safety conga line was not necessary this time; it was a perfect day outside. The sky was completely clear and the mountain air was warm and fresh. I could have easily stayed here all day and just hung out. But we had another long bus ride ahead of us.

It sounded like everyone who went up on the glacier had a great time. Della was telling me that her group’s guide claimed the only training he had was basic first aid. Seems kind of insufficient for waltzing around on a glacier. During the long grueling slog through the mountain passes dotted with road works we had a few photo stops along the way to break up the journey. We celebrated Georgie’s birthday by singing obnoxiously on the bus and having cake at one of our junk food pit stops. The scenery just kept getting better and I had to admit I could no longer find a corollary to something back home. The hill atop the valley into Queenstown was one of the most stunning scenes I’ve ever laid eyes upon. Touche New Zealand. Your gas prices are still horrendous ($2.21/L at Fox Glacier) and your Doritos are mediocre (about 1/3 of the flavour). But damn you’re pretty.

Queenstown. The place for adventure. We would be spending 3 nights here, the longest of any of our stays. This would be a welcome break from the several long days on the road. We arrived in the evening and went to visit the famous “Fergburger” which was still lined up out the door, even after 8pm. I had the “Sweet Bambi”, a venison burger with boysenberry relish and caramelised onions. It was definitely in the top 3 burgers I’ve ever had. Plus saying you ate Bambi gets some great reactions from people. Mike, Dave, Masaki, and I wandered around looking for tourist crap to buy before dropping by the bar to continue celebrating Georgie’s birthday. Most people called it an early night as they had activities tomorrow morning.

Queenstown has pretty much any activity you could think of. Skydiving, horseback riding, 4x4ing, jetboating, bungee jumping. Oh, right, about that last one. Queenstown is home to the first commercial bungee jumping operation, the 44 m “Kawarau” opened in 1988. It is also home to the bonkers Nevis bungee where you jump out of a cable car 130 m above the ground. I chickened out of both of these and went for the canyon swing. In my defence, the swing has a 60 m drop but with the benefit of not having to be responsible for throwing yourself head first off a platform and not having a horrible recoil fling you back into the air for a second go. Dave and I were joined by John and Mary for the 9:15 swing. There were many options for flinging yourself off the cliff side. I chose “the chair”. The two operators bantered back and forth and they leaned me over the side and pulled me back again. I think this happed about 8 times until I gave a slight push off with my toes and they let me go. “AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!” You have to scream. I mean if you don’t, you’ve obviously seen some serious shit in your life already and you should probably seek therapy. It was a blast, but I wasn’t super keen to go again.

When we got back from flinging ourselves off a cliff the line for Fergburger was practically nonexistant. So we went there for lunch again. I had the Tropical Swine. It might as well have been called the tropical mess as it disintegrated quickly after I got about halfway through. Masaki and I had the afternoon off so we climbed up to the lookout point on Queenstown Hill. It was a “piece a piss” as the Scottish say compared to Tongariro but still tiring in the afternoon sun. Afterwards we split up to do some shopping. I ran into Della and Kathi down the waterfront. Kathi quickly convinced me to join them for an “Apperol Spritz”, whatever that was (delicious was the answer). Della and I waited patiently as Kathi negociated with the host to be given the perfect table. You know, with the right view and sun light and all. Jacob joined us for a round or two before we went to a pizza joint for a pre-pub crawl dinner and to celebrate Becky’s birthday.

Our pub crawl started off at an ice bar. Everything from the furnishings to the glasses were made of ice and the room was adorned with sculptures. I of course refused the standard issue parka but I had to concede and grab some gloves since my hands melted the ice glasses. I kept questioning why people were paying good money for what Canadians do outside for free. Next it was to a small karaoke bar. And they were checking people’s ID’s. Crap. I forgot mine back at the hotel. All the way back up the bloody hill above. So I ran there and back and still had time for 2 beers. We spent most of the evening at the next bar, a crowded affair specialising in hip-hop. My favourite. Okay, I’m being a bit facetious saying that. We were all having a great time. Nobody really knew how to dance and it didn’t matter. We were all friends here, looking to have fun. Though I was really disappointed when they played 15 seconds of James Brown’s “I Feel Good” before diving into another godless electronic song. Dave, still trying to kick his version of the “Top Deck Super AIDS” cold going around volunteered to be designated walker this evening. I checked up on him frequently as he stood against the wall. He mentioned that someone in the washroom asked if he had any coke, to which he replied “sorry, fresh out.” What was left of the main group headed to the fourth bar. Dave had taken Mike back at this point and asked me to keep track of Masaki. The bouncer at this fourth bar refused to let Jacob in on the basis he “has had enough”. Yes, the completely lucid Danish man who honestly answered all your questions is clearly a bigger liability compared to the screaming girl nearly falling on the ground on her way into the bar. The kicker was that the place was dead inside anyway so the whole team packed up with barely enough time for Izzy and me to finish our first drinks. I decided it was best I finish up as well at this point. Doing a jet boat hungover in the morning wasn’t all the appealing. I found Masaki and we headed back. We ran into Larissa and Whitney who were heading back as well, with all of us making a stop to dance by a street guitarist playing “Sweet Home Alabama”. I was glad to finish the night listening to some “real music”.

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Photos

Valley into Queenstown
Wowie

Standing above oblivion
A great candid shot taken by Katie

Queenstown Hill
View of the town

Canyon Swing
ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!

Aperol Spritz
These drinks are dangerously delicious

Couple of cool guys
Nuff said

Distances sign
At the canyon swing