Words of Thanks

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Some of you may be aware of my growing reputation as an online dating guru. For those of you who aren't, I am not accruing a prodigious portfolio of virtual lovers... rather, I have mastered the art of writing online profiles for others!

As a sidenote on my travels from Timaru, some of you will recall the kind farmer who rescued me from a late night by the roadside, and restored my faith in humanity by inviting me into his home for the night; he asked no work in return, just bid me happy travels.

Well, we stayed up, chatting amiably on his deck to tell stories of our escapades and adventures over a game of International Rules UNO and a few cups of tea. I couldn't help but notice during the course of our conversation that this kind-hearted farmer was struggling not only with his dating life as a single father, but also with literacy. Intermittent breaks in conversation to text message "Hot Harriet" were peppered with spelling questions. To say the least, his online profile had failed to proffer desirable search results.

While meandering the streets of Oamaru the next day, and reflecting on his genuine hospitality and good will, I decided to do my work as a farmhand in a more unconventional way, and sat down at the internet cafe to compose the following message:

thanks again for all your kindness.
as a token, i wrote an excerpt for your online profile...
if you dig it, cut and paste.
if you think it's useless, just delete!


Rowdy Funster Seeks Spunk
I am a good man and a great father. Despite juggling the responsibilities of being a single parent, I manage to get the job done and have a good time too! I'm a pretty handy guy to have around. I can fix and build just about anything, and I take time to enjoy the fruits of my labour. I like raunchy jokes, tokes, and a good game of backgammon. I can enjoy a night out on the town or a night at home complete with spa, sauce, and snuggles. I am seeking a spry, spunky, and adventurous woman.


Within two hours, I received a reply of gratitude from my funster farmer... yet another posted profile to add to my repetoire!

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