Ow!

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It hurts so much! In the last week we have gone utterly bonkers and seem to have signed up for any activity that causes physical pain.

The madness began in Kaikoura with a gentle stroll up a vertical cliff face to a look out point. In cloudy weather. Ok, ok, so we didn't think... To cheer ourselves up we then headed to the Point Sheep Shearing Show (only in NZ...) where we watched in awe as a bloke sheared a sheep! It was great. Honest. Lucie also got to feed both a lamb and a huge ram - adding to the now huge list of animal encounters.

The next morning, bright and early. Well, early anyway, we packed up our bags and set off for the Dolphin Encounter. Thanks to Moloy and Jules we were going swimming with dolphins! After an initial struggle trying to squeeze into wet suits (with the size emblazoned on the sleeves, legs, back, hood...WHAT were these people thinking?? Had they never seen a curvy girl before?? Lucie) we set off into the Pacific ocean on a boat.

Having never snorkelled before we were given a quick lesson (Emblazoned with dress sizes, and humiliation in front of all the experienced, *skinny* snorkellers?? WHHYYYYY?? Lucie) in breathing underwater and also in dolphin attraction. The little critters seem to enjoy listening to nutters in wet suits singing through a snorkel and, we kid you not, being 'dolphin-like'. Frigging 'dolphin like'?

Anyway, it was indeed truly fabulous once we'd got the hang of the breathing thing. After an initial disaster for Lucie who forgot to put her mask on and took in a great gulp of the ocean... The dolphins are indeed clearly intelligent animals who have conned humans into providing daily entertainment for their viewing pleasure. Dignity? We left that well behind. Dave found that 'singing' Born Free and swimming in circles was a sure fire hit. Several dolphins gathered, clearly sniggering, to have their photo taken. Well sort of. In fact if we cut up all the photos and paste them together we may have a picture of at least half a dolphin (laughing, of course) - with five fins, and two noses. They rewarded us afterwards as we sat nice and dry, drinking hot chocolate and eating ginger biscuits with several jumps, coming right out of the water and somersaulting in front of us. Or perhaps they were just mocking our swimming efforts once again. Pesky little blighters...

The next morning Dave decided it was perfect weather for surfing. Raining and about minus 4. Or at least it felt like it as we stood, once again garbed in attractive black rubber, on the beach doing star jumps while a passenger train very slowly, oh so very slowly, edged past us - passengers hanging from the window taking our photo... Sigh. At least the sizes weren't on the wet suits this time... and we did warm up, or was that just shame...?

Diving confidently into the water (surprisingly warm after the air temperature) we prepared to ride in on our waves, confidently expecting to be standing like pros. Hmm. Hopes, so easily dashed! To be fair by the end of the l-o-n-g 3 hour session we had both managed to stand on our boards. Lucie, in a desperate attempt to clear the enormous wave crashing down on her and Dave in a quite spectacular leap to safety (onto a hidden underwater rock).

Lucie's bruises have now nearly gone and she has almost forgiven Dave for whacking her in the arm with a 9ft surfboard. She can still not raise her arm above shoulder level though, which hampers her attempts to beat him senseless.

As well as being great fun, our enduring memory will actually be trying to leave the ocean. Lucie (clearly first out) managed to pick the worst possible place to try and get to shore. In a large hollow where touching the ocean bed was impossible until about 2 centimetres from the large algae covered rocks, designed for maximum slipperiness. Every step forward resulted in a sneaky wave dragging her back and knocking her flat on her back. But did she warn Dave of his impending doom as he followed her to the exact same spot? Oh no. Did she lie beached on the sand, utterly exhausted, yet somehow finding the strength to cry with laughter as Dave begs the tide to stop yanking his surfboard (and thus attached ankle) back out to sea? Oh yes. Revenge is sweet indeed.

Anyway, Dave had the last laugh. The next day he decided that despite Lucie having not ridden a bike since she was 13 (and being quite rubbish even then) a pleasant cycle to the Marlborough vineyards would be a lovely way to spend the day. He ignored Lucie's nervous pleas for mercy and insisted she was doing fine as she wobbled her way to the end of the road. It lasted about 10 minutes before getting buzzed by a huge lorry, Lucie decided the safest option was clearly to throw the bike away in a tantrum and insist that Dave went back for the car. The conversation went a little like this:

L - aaaggghhhh, what was that?
D (nervously) - just a little lorry
L- no way mister, I have put up with the surfing, the hikes, the snorkelling. Just who did you think you married? huh huh? Do I look sporty and fit? DO I? Get the damned car or I'm going to cry.
D - Just a little further...?
L - wwwaaahhhhhhh
D - I'll be back in 5 minutes
L - I should think so too. I'll wait here with my book.
D - where the hell were you hiding that?
L - I have my ways.

Enough of that. The day was recovered by visiting lots of vineyards, a fabulous lunch and a chocolate factory. Lucie drove. (Dave - I love Marlborough)

So, throughly exhausted from our exertions, what do we do next. Spend the day kayaking in Abel Tasman national park. Good thinking! Actually it was lovely, the water was nice and calm and once we'd got the hang of the steering (sort of anyway) we kicked some Icelandic butt! Literally, as we continually rammed our kayak into theirs. Oops... They were very nice about it though. And we think they were only kidding as they threatened to capsize us...

Now, totally knackered we decide to spend a relaxing day floating gently around on a hang glider! Lucie decided it was her turn to go first, muttering about weather changing and not being cancelled again, dammit... She eagerly strapped herself to a burly fella on the biggest kite ever, lying parallel to the ground. Chatting merrily away she failed to notice the plane being attached on the front via a long rope. It was only seconds before the engine started that she thought to inquire some further details re the take off procedure. He explained.

Oh, she said.

Nose, inches fron the ground we accelerated from 0 - 80 km/h in about 4 seconds and then got yanked into the air by a microlight.

Eeeeeekkkkk, she said.

The flights were stunning though, incredible views over the bays and forests of the area. We even got to try our hand at steering the glider. However, among the most disconcerting words ever heard have to be 'oops, I think I've slightly misjudged the landing' as Lucie hurtled to the ground. Only perhaps topped by 'this might be a bit quick....'. Imagine the scene as Dave waits his turn to go up in the hang glider as both Lucie AND the instructor scream as they come into land.... It was actually fine though (but he was not kidding about the quick part). His idea of a joke apparently. Ha. Ha. Ha. Growl.

Anyway. We're now in the North Island and are just about to head northwards from Wellington to Turangi where we hope (actually, where Dave hopes and Lucie has been persuaded...) to attempt the Tongariro Crossing - 17km over a ridge between two volcanoes. Oh dear. What has happened to us??

Lucie and Dave
xxx

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Comments

[Emma D]

Jelly tots
Oh my god, i am so impressed with everything you are doing. It all sounds absolutely amazing, and i have to say again how completely and utterly jealous i am. am lovin the tantrum transcription, i have to say (soz luc) that i could picture it very clearly, bless you dave (hehehe). I don't know how to even begin to try to rival some of the amazing stuff you've been writing about - in fact i bet you haven't done half of it and are only making it up to impress...and don't even try the photographic evidence arguement cause we all know how easy that is to fake!! :-P xx