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Published: March 1st 2006
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Beach at Kaikoura
View from cliffs. Just 4 days in New Zealand, and hopelessly inadequate to have a proper look around, but I still managed to have fun and prepare myself for the onslaught of gastric and linguistic difficulties that South America would herald. It's concerning that I have had no call to use my Emmergency Immodium hitherto, two tablets of which I have religiously toted on my person since I left London. They are an amusing talking point with my fellow travellers (some of whom gaze into the middle distance with pained expressions when the topic turns to tummy-rumbles), but no more than that.
My base was Christchurch. Lots of people comment on the 'Englishness' of Christchurch, and of course this is true. There's an Anglican Catherdral, punting, English placenames, Miss Marple, and binge drinking around every corner. Despite all this, I still had a good time. I don't know if it was sentimentality on the return to the land of my ancestors - I have a Kiwi passport, thanks to my mother (note to self: it's probably a good idea to sign one's passport before entering a foreign country, especially when one's onward destination is Colombia - the officials can get a bit edgy),
Seal on Rock
'I never again achieved the success I had with my first album, Debut...' or whether I genuinely liked it there, but the South Island of New Zealand had a remarkably calming effect after dervish-like travelling previously. The Kiwis seem less brash than their Aussie cousins, and Christchurch is a nice sized town to relax in. Just big enough to support the odd sushi bar and theatre, but small enough to feel like you know your way around after a couple of days. Naturally, sushi and theatre are things that I rarely indulge in, having a strong aversion to black polonecks, but it's nice to know that they are there if you are courting (see - just being in the South Island makes one use the language of an aging maiden aunt).
After looking in on the bizarre Christchurch Chinese New Year lantern festival (didn't I already celebrate this weeks ago in China?) I decided to make an excursion to Kaikoura, famous for its dolphins. I hadn't book a space on one of these oversubscribed tours, but had some luck in getting on a fur seal swim moments after entering the town. This was one of the highlights of my trip so far. I was taken on a rib with 4 ernest Scandos
Emmergency Immodium
Never more than 12 inches away from my intestine. to a small rocky outcrop offshore, and deposited myself in the water wearing an incredibly thick wetsuit, complete with double layered crotch protection to keep the crown jewels from icing over (the water in NZ was nearly 15 degrees colder than on the Great Barrier Reef). I wallowed with a couple of seals on my own away from the others for a couple of hours, and it was truly magical. Don't get me wrong, I'm not turning vegetarian or anything (I have strong feelings on those who anthropormorphise and can picture the noble creatures sandwiched in a seeded cob with a dash of mayonnaise). Nevertheless, it was wonderful to be having a laugh with intelligent wild animals. The seals were checking me out, swimming around me, and flapping their fins out of the water in my direction as if to say 'look at that loser, freezing his nuts off'. Cavorting like this with wild animals is, I suppose, fairly rare in the world, and requires one to travel to somewhere remote that is not blighted by hoards of tourists, aggressive farming practises etc. It took a couple of days to sink in just how fantastic the whole experience was. My
Christchurch Cathedral
Do pass another scone, Mrs Frobisher... recommendation: if you're in Kaikoura, go for the snorkel with seals. You'll get closer than you would with a scuba kit, and probably have more interaction than you would with the dolphins (the groups are smaller).
I tried once more to skydive on my final day in Christchurch, but unfortunately, severe wind prevented me from doing so (and the weather wasn't great). I'll probably leave this one for a few months now, as I don't fancy giving it a shot in some South American backwater.
A quick note on accomodation in Christchurch. I stayed in a place called Stonehurst, a kind of Mecca in the world of backpacking. The place has dormitories for the youngsters, and a whole range of rooms above and beyond that for the more comfort-conscious. In the knowledge that I was about to depart the English speaking world for South America, I upgraded to something rather luxurious for my final nights in Christchurch. Instead of going for a standard room with ensuite, I plumped for 'the tourist flat', badly in need of decoration. The place was twice the size of my flat in London, but decked out in the type of fabrics I remember
The Antarctic Centre, Christchurch
I had a ride on this $500k beast with some over excited pensioners. my dad using to mop up paint spills as a child. Sixties chic, but very clean. It was a welcome treat to enjoy a glass (bottle) of wine in front of the telly, and to shower, eat and perform my daily ablutions without the company of gap year students.
I forced down a gigantic meal to say 'au revoir' to Autralasia (and felt like spewing for the next two hours), and settled down for a final night's sleep in sleepy Christchurch, before embarking on the journey to Bogota, a journey that would last 2 days.
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Olly
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Sea cucumber
Ah, Ian, just think. While you were communing with baby seals, I was doing my impression of a certain sea cucumber, in the bogs of 50 story office block. I'm sure we were both at peace with the world.