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Published: March 3rd 2014
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Nanuku
Paradise - pre-storm (... continued from previous)
The next day, four of us along with two Fijian escorts hopped on a small boat to Nanuku, a small remote island with white sand, crystal clear aqua coloured water surrounding it and palm trees growing richly - exactly how you imagine paradise. After walking around the island and basking in its beauty we had dinner and all settled around a bonfire and gazed at the millions of stars above. The next morning we awoke to a bright sunny day and fresh turtle tracks on the sand in front of our bure. We went snorkelling where we saw colourful fish, coral and a small shark! One night was not enough on this little piece of paradise so I decided to stay another night, as everyone but Nick waved goodbye - a decision that I would soon regret...
Island life is not as luxurious as you may think; no running water or electricity meant we had to use rain water for cooking, showering and drinking; candles for light at night meant sleeping after sunset, rising at sunrise. Two nights turned into three, as I found out the boat would not be coming because the ferry bearing
supplies to fix up the bure was late... On the third day we ran out of gas and the generator for charging our phones/cameras went soon after - our only connection to the outside world was Nick's phone. My joy hearing the phone ring in hopes that a boat was on its way soon turned to dread as each phone call brought bad news. Just when I didn't think things could get much worse, we got a call saying that a hurricane was coming and it was too risky to come get me, suddenly paradise was not as wonderful as I once thought. There were bugs everywhere... flies getting in your business constantly, ants in the bed and wasps everywhere, driving me crazy! Making a meal was a job within itself, we had to collect driftwood from around the island, start a fire and pray that it wouldn't rain before our food was cooked. Our diet consisted of coconuts, rice, potatoes and more coconuts. Even a glass of water meant we had had to boil the rain water before drinking it. I never craved an ice cold coke more in my life, or a cold drink of any sort for
that matter. I started fantasizing about all of the delicious food I had at my fingertips back home on a regular basis - it became a gamete would play, saying all the food we would eat if we had it.
My only escape from the island was through a book that was left behind: "OSHO Living Dangerously - Ordinary Enlightenment for Extraordinary Times". I couldn't have picked up this book at a better time, Osho's words made perfect sense to me. I've never followed any sort of religion or believed in any sort of mumbo jumbo, but everything I was reading related to me at this point in my life - it was refreshing reading the writings of thoughts I had that could never express into words on my own. My decision to quit my job and give up everything I knew was expressed in the first part of the book:
LIVE DANGEROUSLY "Now, if you choose the comfortable, the convenient, then you will never be able to live intensely. The comfortable, the convenient, the conventional, which the society approves, means that you are ready to become a psychological slave. That's why all this convenience.... The society will give you everything, if you give up your freedom to it. It will give you respectability, it will give you great posts in hierarchy, in the bureaucracy - but you have to drop one thing: your freedom, your individuality. You have to become a number in the crowd."
The fourth night the storm hit hard, lightning surrounded the island in the distance, the wind was strong and the rain even stronger. The windows on the bure we slept in kept banging open and closed, the mattress was soaked from the rain leaking in. I must have given Nick a heart attack with the number of times I had awoken him in panic - I didn't sleep a wink that night, I began to wonder if the boat would ever arrive. Soon the days began to blend together and I was finding it harder to hide my worries with a smile. I began to develop sores on my body that wouldn't heal, the thought of eating another coconut made me gag. The fifth day, the absolute last day we expected that the boat would come, we got a call saying the water was too rough and that it would come the next day instead - I was beginning to lose hope, but if Mali the captain said he would come I believed him and bit my tongue and said that it was ok.
The sixth day came and still no boat. Later that day came a new sense of energy and happiness when I was on the last couple of pages of the book:
"The miracle is not walking on water, the miracle is not walking in fire; the miracle is waking up. That is the miracle. All else is nonsense. Wake up... and you are Buddha! Wake up and you are enlightened! And when you wake up its not that you will become totally different from your ordinary self; you will be the same person but luminous. You will eat in the same way, but it will not be the same, there will be an intrinsic difference. You will live the old way, yet it will not be the old because you will be new. You will bring a new touch to everything and whatsoever you will touch will start turning into gold, will start turning meaningful. Before it was meaningless, now it will have significance and meaning. And it is time you wake up!" He said that any situation could trigger enlightenment, I believed that this was mine.
"Any word may trigger it... or maybe just a pause may trigger it... and suddenly the sleep is gone, the dreams have disappeared. You are born, spiritually born, twice-born. You have again become a child. That's' what Buddhahood is, that's what enlightenment is." Suddenly the dark grey clouds, which were still grey became brighter to me, the ocean became bluer. I was excited for things again. I needed this time and series of misfortunes on Nanuku to become enlightened. The boat will arrive tomorrow I told myself, now that what needed to happen has happened.
A sudden urge to write came over me, now I am sitting here writing this, in the moment - living in the moment.
"Relax into your being, whoever you are. Don't impose any ideals. Don't drive yourself crazy; there is no need. Be drop becoming. We are not going anywhere, we are just being here. And this moment is so beautiful, is such a benediction; don't bring any future into it, otherwise you will destroy it. Future is poisonous. Relax and enjoy. I can help you relax and enjoy, my work is done. If I can help your ideals, ideas about how you should be and how you should not be, if I can take away all the commandments that have been given to you, then my work is done. And when you are without commandments, and when you live on the spur of the moment - natural, spontaneous, simple, ordinary - there is great celebration because you have arrived home." I am excited to get off this island and continue my travels through Fiji and beyond with a fresh set of eyes and new found energy that will hopefully be infectious to others. (Those that are reading this probably think I'm a whack-job and that I have developed island fever, and that makes me laugh - but if I can touch just one person it makes sharing my blog and innermost thoughts all worthwhile.)
Day 7 - ok so apparently I'm not psychic, still no boat.
Day 8 - Saved!!!! I have never looked forward to a shower and seeing people more in my life. I am fortunate to have had this experience, I am loving life more than ever and have learnt to appreciate all of the little things that we take for granted and don't think twice about.
So remember that while you are alive it is so precious - don't miss a single moment. Squeeze the whole juice of it, and that juice will give you a taste of the existential, and that will be a revelation of all that is hidden from you and will remain hidden from you.
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Vicki
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Nanuku yin and yang experience
Wow Crystal, quite the yin and yang experience. A week of misery in paradise, saved by a book. At least you got an amazing story from it and you came out of it with a positive, enlightened outlook. I guess it's the tropical storms that make paradise and creates the lush green tropical rainforest with 100-year old coconut trees. Too bad you got caught in the storm. I'm so glad you're sharing the experience, even though I hate for you go go through such a rough time. OMG and for a whole week, sounds so terrifying.